Chive Comedian Quotes & Sayings

Life has left no marks on him, because he hasn't paid much attention to it. — Kurt Vonnegut

Nobody criticizes the 'Mighty Ducks' trilogy and gets away with it. Nobody! — Joshua Jackson

Remember, goals are stars to steer by, not sticks with which to beat ourselves. — Barbara Smith

[Samuel] Johnson's conversation was by much too strong for a person accustomed to obsequiousness and flattery; it was mustard in a young child's mouth! — Hester Lynch Piozzi

Grunts were perhaps the only group of Americans to ever experience complete racial equality. Equal opportunity death has a way of rendering racial differences insignificant. Bush Marines who were black were torn between loyalties to their grunt buddies, and racial solidarity demanded by rear blacks. They were called Uncle Tom for even talking to us. It was a test of their integrity, but very seldom did any give in. — Jeff Kelly

I built a reputation as a songwriter in the industry before my own hits. People were used to coming to me for songs. There were songs like 'Clown' and 'Mountains' that were my songs that I wanted to keep. But the record labels saw me as a songwriter. It was hard to get people to believe in me as an artist. — Emeli Sande

There are lots of things to like about being Eastern Orthodox - incense, liturgies, all the baklava you can eat - but you know what I like best? None of that stupid 'women's ministry' stuff. — Frederica Mathewes-Green

I guess you've got a spice of temper," commented Mr. Harrison, surveying the flushed cheeks and indignant eyes opposite him. "It goes with hair like yours, I reckon — L.M. Montgomery

In our post-9/11 world, our Nation's military deserves, at least the same access to institutions of higher education that any other major employer might enjoy. — Mike Rogers

Everyone should have health insurance? I say everyone should have health care. I'm not selling insurance. — Dennis Kucinich

Do right. Do your best. Treat others as you want to be treated. — Lou Holtz

People don't want to see wrinkles, because if they see wrinkles in actors then they have to face that they have wrinkles, too. They'd rather see perfection up there. And so then you get rocket scientists who are 22 years old. — Stephanie Zimbalist

I hate it when therapy jumps out and surprises you like that. — C.J. Daugherty

Always seek the general and never quite trust it. — Joseph Epstein

At a time when pimpery, lick-spittlery, and picking the public's pocket are the order of the day - indeed, officially proclaimed as virtue - the poet must play the madcap to keep his balance. And ours. — Studs Terkel