Checkbook Quotes & Sayings

When I lost my friends, it was because I had used the power of giving on them recklessly. I swept into their lives with my big fat checkbook, and I erased years of obstacles for them overnight - but sometimes, in the process, I also accidentally erased years of dignity. — Elizabeth Gilbert

I've gone for long stretches without working. I remember many times peeking into my checkbook to see if any money was left. — Randa Haines

That's right, bitches. I couldn't balance my checkbook and didn't know the capital of Iowa but I apparently gave amazing head. I could die a happy sexpot. — Alessandra Torre

I am fat with love! Husky with ardor! Morbidly obese with devotion! A happy, busy bumblebee of marital enthusiasm. I positively hum around him, fussing and fixing. I have become a strange thing. I have become a wife. I find myself steering the ship of conversations- bulkily, unnaturally- just so I can say his name aloud. I have become a wife, I have become a bore, I have been asked to forfeit my Independent Young Feminist card. I don't care. I balance his checkbook, I trim his hair. I've gotten so retro, at one point I will probably use the word pocketbook, shuffling out the door in my swingy tweed coat, my lips red, on the way to the beauty parlor. Nothing bothers me. Everything seems like it will turn out fine, every bother transformed into an amusing story to be told over dinner. 'So I killed a hobo today, honey ... hahahaha! Ah, we have fun — Gillian Flynn

Without their mothers nearby, most of my classmates had no clue how to balance their checkbook or even how much Tylenol to take and how often. In school we were babied, scolded, and told when to eat. We even had to raise our hands for permission to go to the bathroom. In just a few short weeks we would be free to rack up credit cards and student loans, or to sign contracts for an apartment we might not be able to afford, because we were taught how to learn, but not how to live. — Jamie McGuire

Fortunately, due to a terrible misunderstanding, I soon found myself working as a consultant to the World Bank. I am not exactly sure what it was that led the World Bank to believe I had any expertise in infrastructure finance. I had never even balanced a checkbook. I hadn't even tried. There is not much reason to balance a checkbook when your checking account rarely tops the three-figure mark. And so, to the Third World countries who had the misfortune of working with me on their infrastructure projects, I wish to apologize. — J. Maarten Troost

Any dope with a checkbook can buy a company. It's what you do afterward that matters. — Henry Silverman

I'm more to my family than a wonderful, luminous cook. I'm also a wonderful, luminous butler and a wonderful, luminous chauffer. And checkbook. I'm a luminous checkbook, too. — MaryJanice Davidson

Go to your checkbook and see what you spend money on. In an instant, you will know what is important to you because your money goes toward it. — Larry Winget

Huguette had a fairy-tale checkbook, one that was refilled whenever it ran out of magic beans. — Bill Dedman

The Marine Corps assumes maximum ignorance from its enlisted folks. It assumes that no one taught you anything about physical fitness, personal hygiene, or personal finances. I took mandatory classes about balancing a checkbook, saving, and investing. When I came home from boot camp with my fifteen-hundred-dollar earnings deposited in a mediocre regional bank, a senior enlisted marine drove me to Navy Federal - a respected credit union - and had me open an account. When I caught strep throat and tried to tough it out, my commanding officer noticed and ordered me to the doctor. We — J.D. Vance

This is why I loved the support groups so much, if people thought you were dying, they gave you their full attention. If this might be the last time they saw you, they really saw you. Everything else about their checkbook balance and radio songs and messy hair went out the window. You had their full attention. People listened instead of just waiting for their turn to speak. And when they spoke, they weren't just telling you a story. When the two of you talked, you were building something, and afterward you were both different than before. — Chuck Palahniuk

I am not going to take a role because there's money. It might extend my checkbook, but not my integrity. — Gina Rodriguez

But playing your music as loud as you want and coming home drunk aren't real life. Real life, it turns out, is diapers and lawnmowers, decks that need painting, a wife that needs to be listened to, kids that need to be taught right from wrong, a checkbook, an oil change, a sunset behind a mountain, laughter at a kitchen table, too much wine, a chipped tooth, and a screaming child. — Donald Miller

If you feel driven to feed the poor, get your checkbook out and keep your tyrannical mouth shut about it. — Lewis Goldberg

Family is family, and business is business. I love the boy, but not that much."
"Who are you kidding?" Heath had said. "You'd walk over coals for him."
"Yes, but I'd leave my checkbook behind while I was doing it. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

After that cancellation [of the Superconducting Super Collider in Texas, after $2 billion had been spent on it], we physicists learned that we have to sing for our supper ... The Cold War is over. You can't simply say "Russia!" to Congress, and they whip out their checkbook and say, "How much?" We have to tell the people why this atom-smasher is going to benefit their lives. — Michio Kaku

What grinds me the most is that we're sending kids out into the world who don't know how to balance a checkbook, don't know how to apply for a loan, don't even know how to properly fill out a job application, but because they know the quadratic formula we consider them prepared for the world? — Chris Colfer

My grandmother Izzy taught me to balance her checkbook when I was 6 years old. She would sign the checks after I paid the bills. I had a chuckle with my grandmother recently on how 'unbalanced' her checkbook must have been years ago. — Mary Callahan Erdoes

It takes a checkbook to change the world — Mother Teresa

At the base of the Fed pyramid, and therefore of the bank system's creation of "money" in the sense of deposits, is the Fed's power to print legal tender money. But the Fed tries its best not to print cash but rather to "print" or create demand deposits, checking deposits, out of thin air, since its demand deposits constitute the reserves on top of which the commercial banks can pyramid a multiple creation of bank deposits, or "checkbook money." — Murray Rothbard

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook. — Tommy Manville

May God want for man to be able to be a child again to understand that he is mistaken if he thinks he can find happiness with a checkbook. — Facundo Cabral

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. — Groucho Marx

A checkbook is a theological document, it will tell you who and what you worship. — Billy Graham

Well, after Zombie Birdhouse came out, I toured behind it in the fall of 1982, into the spring, and in the summer in the Far East. At that time, I found my work self-referential; it was getting to be rock songs about a rock singer who lived a rock life on the rock road, and I was starting to wonder what I would be like to rent my own apartment, what it would be like to have a checkbook. — Iggy Pop

Rather than saying, 'My checking account is a wreck,' change it to 'I will learn how to track my spending and balance my checkbook.' — Suze Orman

Imagine a computer. The monitor, keyboard, and processor are the hardware. Without any software to run it, your computer would be worthless. Your body is your hardware and your mindset is your operating system. It gives you access to the power of the hardware, and determines what software you can run. It lets you get the most out of your computer, allowing you to balance your checkbook and even create 3-D designs. Your mindset determines how you perceive and interact with the world. — Mike Cernovich

What would you think of a person who earned $24,000 a year but spent $35,000? Suppose on top of that, he was already $170,000 in debt. You'd tell him to get his act together - stop spending so much or he'd destroy his family, impoverish his kids and wreck their future. Of course, no individual could live so irresponsibly for long. But tack on eight more zeroes to that budget and you have the checkbook for our out-of-control, big-spending federal government. — John Stossel

Foreign relations is an open book
generally a checkbook. — Will Rogers

Between the calendar and checkbook, ones priorities are laid bare. — L.R.W. Lee

We know this much about how Barack Obama plans to govern: He will deploy the fattest checkbook ever at the disposal of an incoming American president. — Nina Easton

If you look at a person's checkbook and datebook, you know what their religion really is. — Ravi Ravindra

Millions of us track ourselves all the time. We step on a scale and record our weight. We balance a checkbook. We count calories. But when the familiar pen-and-paper methods of self-analysis are enhanced by sensors that monitor our behavior automatically, the process of self-tracking becomes both more alluring and more meaningful. — Gary Wolf

The way I look at it, checkbook love is better than no love at all. — Stephen King

I wanted to build a tool for my generation: people 20 to 40 who don't want to spend time balancing a checkbook or checking multiple financial institutions' websites. Mint does just that, giving comprehensive, quick insights into a user's finances from their computer, mobile phone and/or tablet. — Aaron Patzer

It isn't so terrible to think logically and to be analytical; if we are designing a bridge or balancing a checkbook, that's the best way to think and the best way to be. But when we look carefully, we see that discursive, linear thinking is only useful for certain kinds of tasks; for others it is quite useless. Like the hammer or the toothbrush, discursive thought is a tool intended for certain kinds of jobs: If you use a hammer to brush your teeth, or a toothbrush to drive nails, you are not likely to meet with great success. — John Daishin Buksbazen

Matt huffs. "Can you do me a favor, Ryke? These two owe my uncle forty grand." He points to me. "This girl says her checkbook is in the car. Follow them and get the money from her." "Yeah, no problem." My stomach drops further. Now we're going to be tailed by Matt's superhero friend who looks fit enough to tackle me and pin me to the grass. — Krista Ritchie

If you spend five minutes with me or watch me try to balance my checkbook, you can only imagine the disaster I would make of anyone's legal issues. — Greg Giraldo

You have a bad memory for details. You can tell her the date of the Spanish Armada, but you couldn't even guess at the balance of your checkbook. — Jay McInerney

There are people out there who've paid good money to hear me. I always figure when all you got is the deposit slip, you better be real nice to the folks that have the checkbook. — Thomas Cobb

Advances in communication technology foster a false fantasy of togetherness by transmitting the impression of contact- phone calls, faxes, e-mail- without its substance. And when a relationship is ailing from frank time deprivation, both parties often aver that nothing can be done. Every activity they spend time on (besides each other) has been classified as indispensable: cleaning the house, catching the news, balancing the checkbook. (205) — Thomas Lewis

We have raised the bar so high on how church is done that few believe they could ever do it themselves. The dark side of this endeavor is that we have lowered the bar of what is means to be a Christian, such that simply showing up to the weekly one-hour event with some regularity and a checkbook is all it takes. — Neil Cole

Wes sat in a cracked vinyl booth picking at his fries and listening to Amanda go on and on about the dress she'd found.
' ... and it has these little lavender bows. Oh, Wes, I can't wait 'til you see it.' She gesticulated wildly, and her only saving grace right now was her amazing rack that swayed and bounced with each movement. Sometimes he swore that was the only reason he ever looked crosswise at Amanda Price. That, and her daddy's checkbook.
'And I found these shoes

'Uh huh, that's nice,' he cut her off and slid free from the booth. He held out his hand. 'Got the card?' He waved the bill in the air at her questioning gaze. Was she a little cross-eyed, maybe? He thought so. — Brandi Salazar

As soon as Mr. Roosevelt took office, the Federal Reserve began to buy government securities at the rate of ten million dollars a week for 10 weeks, and created one hundred million dollars in new [checkbook] currency, which alleviated the critical famine of money and credit, and the factories started hiring people again. — Eustace Mullins

We can tell our values by looking at our checkbook stubs. — Gloria Steinem

Restraining, saving, assuring your checkbook balance ... what does all taht amount to? If I go broke one day I'll just take out loans — Novala Takemoto

We discussed my retainer, and learned that the women had all pooled their money together to hire me. So I told her that I was having a special. The first two weeks were free. She seemed relieved and put her checkbook back. Now, I thought as she shuffled off, I just need to find the perv in two weeks. — J.R. Rain

When I hear the word 'culture', I reach for my checkbook. — Edward Abbey

I never had a checkbook. It used to be cash in hand, stuff in the pocket, or a manager would keep some accounts and give me money. I started to wonder what it must feel like to actually make a profit, pay taxes, and to have a phone listing, and a manager. And also, I was sick of sleeping around every night. — Iggy Pop

If you are not using your smile, you're like someone with a million dollars in the bank and no checkbook. — Les Giblin

The fact is, you can say you love God and sing that you trust God and put him first, but your checkbook is where you can show just how much God's grace means to you. — Rick Warren

To balance my own checkbook each month, I simply record whatever is necessary in the following manner: '37 cents to cover embezzlement by somebody at the bank. — Teresa Bloomingdale

Her checkbook catches his eye. He takes it and hides it in the back of the freezer, underneath a bag of frozen lima beans. If she can freeze his account, he can freeze hers. — Mary Amato

Really, if that's the case, you need to stop letting your mother dress you funny. It's hard to take anyone serious as a killer when he looks like an investment banker. The only part of me that's nervous is my checkbook. (Kat) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Her calculations were sometimes a little fuzzy, for the same reason that her checkbook sometimes did not balance; Becky Vesey (as she had been known as a child) had never really mastered the multiplication tables and she was inclined to confuse sevens with nines. — Robert A. Heinlein

The Chinese banking system is built on quicksand and that's the one thing a lot of people don't realize. Everybody seems to think it is a free and clear open checkbook. It's not. The banking system in China is extremely fragile. — James Chanos

Just because you have checks in the checkbook doesn't mean that you have money in the bank, and Washington has failed to understand that. — Mike Bouchard

Give me five minutes with a person's checkbook, and I will tell you where their heart is. — Billy Graham

People make mistakes all the time. Small ones, like you get in the wrong checkout line. The one with the lady with a hundred coupons and a checkbook.

Sometimes you make medium-sized ones. You go to medical school instead of pursuing you passion.

Sometimes you make big ones.

You give up. — Nicola Yoon