Charlaine Quotes & Sayings

Nothing is ever clear-cut in Bon Temps. What passes for truth is only a convenient lie. What passes for justice is more spilled blood. And what passes for love is never enough ... — Charlaine Harris

Your brother's car has been found," he told Jay Marriot. "It's on a little road almost directly across from Sookie's driveway." ... Eric had told me that that little road, a dirt track leading back to a deer camp, was where Debbie Pelt had hidden her car when she'd come to kill me. Might as well put up a sign: PARKING FOR SOOKIE STACKHOUSE NIGHTTIME ATTACKS. — Charlaine Harris

I'm about as scientific as a saltine — Charlaine Harris

I'd have to say no, people don't change, but they can learn to behave differently. — Charlaine Harris

People fidget. They are compelled to look engaged in an activity, or purposeful. Vampires can just occupy space without feeling obliged to justify it. — Charlaine Harris

So the cluviel dor was a test of Eric's sincerity, in Niall's eyes. And the cluviel dor was a test of my love for Eric, in Eric's eyes," I said. "And we both failed the test. — Charlaine Harris

Finally, a human man saw me as intensely valuable. Just my luck he was happily married and thought I was a freak. — Charlaine Harris

Lillian is one of those disagreeable people who yet have some redeeming qualities, so that you can't write them off entirely - but you sure wish you could. — Charlaine Harris

Sometimes, instead of going down the road less taken, you just charge right down the beaten path. — Charlaine Harris

He was being mighty chary with my money. Now that I was so rich, I could fling open the windows and doors and set the thermostat on forty, if I wanted to do something so foolish and wasteful. — Charlaine Harris

Well, that's certainly ... adequate," I told him, burying my face in his chest. I knew immediately I'd picked the wrong word.
"Adequate?" He took my hand, placed it on the part in question. It immediately began to stir. He moved my hand on it, and I obligingly circled it with my fingers. "This is adequate?"
"Maybe I should have said it's a gracious plenty?"
"A gracious plenty. I like that," he said. — Charlaine Harris

People stubbornly lived their lives as they wanted, without regard to me, to an amazing degree. — Charlaine Harris

Life should imitate romance literature far more often. — Charlaine Harris

I'll show up at every classroom open house and teacher conference,' she said, now in a voice that was almost frightening in its intensity. 'I'll bake brownies. My child will have new clothes. Her shoes will fit. She'll get her shots, and she'll get her braces. We'll start a college fund next week. I'll tell her I love her every damn day.'
If that wasn't a great plan for being a good mother, I couldn't imagine what a better one could be. — Charlaine Harris

Glass shattered, vampires roared, humans screamed. The noise battered at me, just as the tidal wave of scores of brains at high gear washed over me. When it began to taper off, I looked up into Eric's eyes. Incredibly, he was excited. He smiled at me. "I knew I'd get on top of you somehow," he said.
Are you trying to make me mad so I'll forget how scared I am?"
No, I'm just opportunistic."
I wiggled, trying to get out from under him, and he said, "Oh, do that again. It felt great. — Charlaine Harris

His eyes looked at my body as if it were a drink of water on a desert dune.
"I don't know much," I confessed, my voice barely audible.
"Don't worry. I know a lot. — Charlaine Harris

When's your next doctor's appointment?" "In your last month, you go every week," Lynn said knowledgeably. "I'm due to go back in tomorrow. Maybe he'll tell me something. — Charlaine Harris

I got up the next day at noon, feeling as relaxed as a cat in a pool of sunshine, — Charlaine Harris

Every now and then I felt like I was Bill's doll. — Charlaine Harris

I hate her skinny thighs and her elitist attitude. i hope she's a dreadful bitch who makes you so miserable that you howl when you remember me. — Charlaine Harris

How is Eric?'
'Very tightly wound. Plus, a lot of stuff happened that he'll tell you about.'
'Thanks for the warning. I'll go to the house now. You're my favorite breather.'
'Oh. Well ... great.'
She hung up. — Charlaine Harris

It was one of God's jokes that such a dumb mind had been put in such an eloquent body. — Charlaine Harris

Maybe she was being so hoity-toity because she didn't have her own fairy godmother. — Charlaine Harris

If it pleases you and you can write at all, it's gonna please somebody else. — Charlaine Harris

She killed Lorena in a fight? Eric's grin grew even broader. He was as proud as if he'd heard his firstborn reciting Shakespeare. — Charlaine Harris

I was embarrased, horrified and absolutely ready to jump him! — Charlaine Harris

I snuck a look to see how Eric was taking this, and he was staring at me the same way the Monroe vampires had. Thoughtful. Hungry.
"That's interesting," he said. "I had a psychic once. It was incredible."
"Did the psychic think so? — Charlaine Harris

I started to say that couldn't happen, that the people I knew wouldn't turn on their friends and neighbors because of an accident of birth. But in the end, I didn't say that, because I wondered if it was the truth. — Charlaine Harris

Fiji, I'm betting you don't drink a lot," he said, trying to suppress a smile.
"I don't," she confessed. "How did you know?"
"Just a lucky guess."
"You think he'd like my phone number?"
"Feej, that guy is tough as nails, and he's not only been around the block, he's run a marathon. He could eat you for breakfast," Olivia said, half smiling.
"And wouldn't that be a great way to wake up?" Fiji said, with a broad wink. Manfred laughed; he couldn't help it. — Charlaine Harris

Trees had died to make these forms, and that seemed a great pity to me. — Charlaine Harris

Sookie: Hey, our hair's the same color.
Eric: Sure is, Girlfriend. — Charlaine Harris

I abjure you," Alcide said. Colonel Flood winced, and young Sid, Amanda, and Culpepper looked both astonished and impressed, as if this were a ceremony they'd never thought to witness. "I see you no longer. I hunt with you no longer. I share flesh with you no longer. — Charlaine Harris

I try very hard to write the best book I possibly can, every time. — Charlaine Harris

I kicked off my sandals, put my ice-tinkling glass on the small table by my current book. — Charlaine Harris

Aubrey was in mufti, which definitely helped me to relax. He was disconcertingly attractive in his jeans and shirt; I had some definitely secular thoughts. — Charlaine Harris

When the second hour of Fiji's open house was almost at an end, a mother from Davy said, "How on earth do you get it to look like the cat is talking?" "Oh, did it look realistic?" Fiji had to struggle to keep a smile on her face. "It was so cute! It said, 'Get off my tail or I'll smother you in your sleep.'" "Just some batteries and a CD!" Fiji said. "And isn't that just what a cat should say? — Charlaine Harris

A vagrant thought crossed my mind. — Charlaine Harris

My pride had risen up and whopped me in the face. I don't lose my temper a lot, but when I do, I make a good job of it. — Charlaine Harris

You got no right being in my head. That's..trespassing — Charlaine Harris

You trust me?" Eric sounded surprised.
"Yes."
"That's ... crazy, Sookie. — Charlaine Harris

Well in two months, it'd be sunbathing time. That made me smile. I enjoyed lying in the sun in a little bikini, timing myself carefully so I didn't burn. I loved the smell of coconut oil. And I don't want to hear any lectures about how bad tanning is for you. That's my vice. Everybody gets one. — Charlaine Harris

They found the corpse in the closet of Alcide's apartment, and they hatched a plan to hide his remains." Eric sounded like that had been kind of cute of us.
"My Sookie hid a corpse?"
"I don't think you can be too sure about that possessive pronoun."
"Where did you learn that term, Northman?"
"I took 'English as a Second Language' at a community college in the seventies. — Charlaine Harris

I stroked Eric's hair, tucking some behind his ear. His eyes on mine were intent, and I knew he was waiting for me to speak. "I wish," I said, "I could save orgasms in a jar for when i need them, because I think I had a few extra."
Eric's eyes widened, and all of a sudden he roared with laughter.
(Dead to the World) — Charlaine Harris

I would feel the urge to attack people, to bite them; they'd all be walking McBloodburgers to me. — Charlaine Harris

A year ago it would have torn me up, leaving a body behind as we sped away along the interstate. Now I was just glad it was him and not me who was lying in the woods. I was a terrible Christian and a decent survivalist. — Charlaine Harris

Life begins at night — Charlaine Harris

For awhile I taped soap operas and watched them at night when I thought I might be forgetting what it was like to be human. After a while I stopped, because from the examples I saw on those shows, forgetting humanity was a good thing. — Charlaine Harris

I certainly think we're going to see more and more graphic novels and more illustrated novels. — Charlaine Harris

But there's a juicy artery in your groin," he said after a pause to regroup, his voice as slithery as a snake on a slide.
"Don't you talk dirty," I told him. "I won't listen to that. — Charlaine Harris

Then was ashamed of myself. I should be happy for what I'd been given. I hoped God hadn't noticed my lapse in appreciation. — Charlaine Harris

All my bounce has gone flat, like soda with the top left off. — Charlaine Harris

duct tape - real — Charlaine Harris

JB's mother had taught him early on that appreciated women are happy women. — Charlaine Harris

Pam. Listen.'
'The phone is pressed to my ear. Speak.'
'Appius Livius Ocella just dropped in.'
'Fuck a zombie!'
- Sookie & Pam, Dead in the Family, Charlaine Harris — Charlaine Harris

You've reached Fantasia, where the undead live again every night," "For bar hours, press one. To make a party reservation, press two. To talk to alive person or a dead vampire, press three. Or, if you were intending to leave a humorous prank message on our answering machine, know this: we will find you. — Charlaine Harris

My bodyguard was mowing the lawn in a pink bikini when the body fell from the sky. — Charlaine Harris

Maybe I hadn't been a big dating success because I was a boring person, but possibly it had been because I had limited tolerance for all this preliminary maneuvering and signal reading. - Aurora — Charlaine Harris

Why was it librarians had such a prim image? With all the information available in books right there at their fingertips, librarians could be the best-informed people around. About anything. — Charlaine Harris

I owed her big-time. Jane had left me the house and the money and the skull. I — Charlaine Harris

Jack always had said you knew a person by the books they read ... or didn't read. — Charlaine Harris

When we came back to the sun deck, the party talk had swung around to the bones found at the end of the street. Carey was saying the police had been to ask her if there was anything she remembered that might help to identify the bones as her husband's. "I told them," she was saying, "that that rascal had run off and left me, not been killed. For weeks after he didn't come back, I thought he might walk back through that door with those diapers. You know," she told Aubrey parenthetically, "he left to get diapers for the baby and never came back." Aubrey nodded, perhaps to indicate understanding or perhaps because he'd already heard this bit of Lawrenceton folklore. — Charlaine Harris

There was enough tension in the room to send a fleet of the nervous running for their tranquilizers. — Charlaine Harris

Oh, I took some night school courses in psychology, said Bill Compton, vampire. — Charlaine Harris

America is obsessed with youth. We all want to look young forever, and vampires do. They are caught in their prime, if that's when they've been turned. And they'll be that way forever. — Charlaine Harris

Oh, no, I love going into a pen of lions wearing a sign that says Edible Lamb.
Manfred — Charlaine Harris

If it's easy to be friendly she will be. If the wind blows the other way her friendship will be gone. And I'm thinking the wind is blowing the other way. She has found some other way to be an important person in her own right by hating others. — Charlaine Harris

Most humans were on one big island, to the fairies, and that island was adrift on a sea called I Totally Don't Care. — Charlaine Harris

Sookie: "Eric, when I'm back to being myself, I'm going to nail your ass for putting me in this position of being pledged to you." Eric: Darling, you can nail my ass anytime," he said charmingly, and turned to go back to his table. Pam rolled her eyes. "You two," she said. "Hey this isn't any of my doing," I said, which wasn't entirely true. But it was a good exit line, and I took advantage of it to leave the bar. — Charlaine Harris

I felt like a car that had only been operated by one driver ... a car its new prospective buyer was determined to take to the Daytona 500. — Charlaine Harris

.. I suffered with you. I hurt with you. I bled with you -not only because we're bonded, but because the love I have for you." ~ Eric Northman in Dead in The Family. — Charlaine Harris

Was this the second body I'd found in the closet, or the third? I wondered why I even opened closet doors any more. — Charlaine Harris

There are three motels in Davy if you go north, and at least six over in Marthasville if you go west. If you go to the interstate, there are a skadillion places to stay. — Charlaine Harris

Her (Beverly Powers) face was round and sweet, but her eyes were another matter. Whatever sport she'd played, this woman had been a ferocious competitor.
I was profoundly glad I hadn't been having an affair with her husband. — Charlaine Harris

If this were the fifties, she'd be checking Sam's collars for lipstick stains. (Did people do that anymore? Why did women kiss collars, anyway? Besides, Sam almost always wore T-shirts.) — Charlaine Harris

The last thing I wanted to do was to sit in a crowded bar to watch my cousin get naked. — Charlaine Harris

I freely admit I know nothing about television or writing for the screen. — Charlaine Harris

I love you," Bill said helplessly, as if he wished those magic words would heal me. But he knew they wouldn't.
"That's what you all keep saying," I answered. "But it doesn't seem to get me any happier. — Charlaine Harris

Pam said, Sookie, I brought you something, too. I never thought I'd want to spend time with a human, but you're more tolerable than most ... — Charlaine Harris

You might have been paid back enough to suit you" I said, "but I don't know if you've been paid back enough to suit me. — Charlaine Harris

It can be tiring knowing so many people with hidden depths," Joe said. "Some days, shallow is good. — Charlaine Harris

I didn't know what to think about first: me seeing Claude naked, Claude seeing me naked, or the whole fact that we were related and naked in the same room.
(Sookie Stackhouse, Dead in the Family) — Charlaine Harris

God bless the American spectator. — Charlaine Harris

you have to play it out sometimes. — Charlaine Harris

what are you?" he asked. "I'm a waitress. — Charlaine Harris

Think if you love someone, you make an effort to suppress habits of yours that displease them, right? But those habits or inclinations are still there. Sam, — Charlaine Harris

I said the first thing that came into my head unfortunately. "Save the drama for your mama " I told her just like an eleven-year-old. — Charlaine Harris

Angelic Sookie, vision of love and beauty, I am prostrate that the wicked evil maenad violated your smooth and voluptuous body, in an attempt to deliver a message to me. -Eric — Charlaine Harris

Eric was holding my hands, and I was digging my nails into him like we were doing something else. He won't mind, I though, as I realized I'd drawn blood. And sure enough, he didn't. "Let go," he advised me, and I loosened my grip on his hands. "No, not of me," he said smiling. "You can hold on to me as long as you want. — Charlaine Harris

Eric: 'What part do you like best?' Sookie: 'oh your butt' Eric: 'My ... Bottom?' Sookie: 'yep — Charlaine Harris

Because he sounded so lost-the Eric I knew had never been one to do anything other than assume others should serve him-I patted around under the covers for his hand. When I found it, I slid my own over it. His palm was turned up to meet my palm, and his fingers clasped mine. And though I would not have thought it possible to go to sleep holding hands with a vampire, that's exactly what I did. — Charlaine Harris

Of course I am grateful, and I'm sure you are, as you put it, a special vintage," Bill said politely, "But I have my own wine cellar. — Charlaine Harris

My gran had always told me that a woman
any woman worth her salt
could do whatever she had to. — Charlaine Harris

So, on the whole, I'd have to say that no, people don't change, but they CAN learn to behave differently. I want to believe otherwise. If you have an argument that says I'm wrong, I'd be glad to hear it. — Charlaine Harris

That was an idea I didn't want to have. But you can't erase a thought; once you've had it, it's there to stay. — Charlaine Harris

It was time to pull my moral socks up and behave myself. — Charlaine Harris

Are you a prude?' He seemed genuinely curious.
'No!' But after a second, I said, 'But may be compared to you, yes! I like my privacy. I get to decide who sees me naked. Do you get my point?'
'Yes. Objectively speaking, you have beautiful points.'
I thought the top of my head would pop off ...
(Sookie Stackhouse & Claude, Dead in the Family) — Charlaine Harris

What she had was hers absolutely, not to be touched by other hands without proper permission being asked and granted. — Charlaine Harris

I'll deal with your hang-ups if you'll deal with mine, but if you're still too scared to even try, then you're not worth waiting for. I have some goddamn pride left and I won't wait forever. — Charlaine Harris

Reducing other beings to their component parts. — Charlaine Harris

Lies will come back to bite you in the butt — Charlaine Harris