Certificates Quotes & Sayings

How many McDonald's gift certificates would it take to sway a lot of Americans to pledge to never publicly criticize the U.S, President? — James Bovard

When Christ died on the cross for us, he said, "It is finished" (John 19:30). The Greek word translated "it is finished" was commonly written across certificates of debt when they were canceled. It meant "paid in full". Christ died so that the certificate of debt, consisting of all our sins, could once and for all be marked "paid in full". — Randy Alcorn

I never went to drama school, I don't have any certificates saying: 'He's a qualified actor.' But I did think that 'House' was something I didn't have to apologise for. It was something I was really proud of and it was sort of ... whether you liked it or not, it was undeniable. — Hugh Laurie

In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You being there was certificate enough. — Will Rogers

We make assumptions every day about other people's genders without ever seeing their birth certificates, their chromosomes, their genitals, their reproductive systems, their childhood socialization, or their legal sex. There is no such thing as a "real" gender - there is only the gender we experience ourselves as and the gender we perceive other to be. — Julia Serano

Come and see my coaching certificates - they're called the European Cup and league championships, — Brian Clough

I've started collecting taxidermy: I've got a red squirrel, called Steve. I made sure he came with certificates so we know he wasn't just killed for stuffing. — Arthur Darvill

We might think of dollars as being 'certificates of performance.' The better I serve my fellow man, and the higher the value he places on that service, the more certificates of performance he gives me. The more certificates I earn, the greater my claim on the goods my fellow man produces. That's the morality of the market. In order for one to have a claim on what his fellow man produces, he must first serve him. — Walter E. Williams

Wolf was taken aback. This was the 1950s, years before the advent of cholesterol-lowering drugs and aggressive measures to prevent heart disease. Heart attacks were an epidemic in the United States. They were the leading cause of death in men under the age of sixty-five. It was impossible to be a doctor, common sense said, and not see heart disease. Wolf decided to investigate. He enlisted the support of some of his students and colleagues from Oklahoma. They gathered together the death certificates from residents of the — Malcolm Gladwell

I can see a day soon where you'll create your own college degree by taking the best online courses from the best professors from around the world - some computing from Stanford, some entrepreneurship from Wharton, some ethics from Brandeis, some literature from Edinburgh - paying only the nominal fee for the certificates of completion. — Thomas Friedman

We don't get the Tony gift basket anymore. You used to get incredible swag - there was like $5,000 worth of stuff. I remember getting an MP3 player, gift certificates to restaurants, a three-year gym membership. — Kevin Chamberlin

He removed several pages of death certificates, which were picked up by another breeze and sent into the trees. Some would fall with the leaves that September. Some would fall with the trees generations later. — Jonathan Safran Foer

Every photograph is a certificate of presence. — Roland Barthes

It was typical, he thought, that it had come to this. One minute he was happily selling forged certificates and making good money and the next he was forced to choose between torture, amputation or leaping into a pile of corpses. It was the kind of thing which always seemed to be happening to him. — C.S. Quinn

Certificates from top US universities adorned the walls like tiger head in a hunter's home. — Chetan Bhagat

When I was ten years old I was actually given McDonald's gift certificates for Christmas by my mom. Yes, my own mother. I guess she couldn't find gift certificates for a vending machine. I like to think it was her way of saying, "Merry Christmas. Here are some coupons for poison." McDonald's introduced the gift certificate prior to the obesity epidemic. I'm not saying that McDonald's gift certificates caused the obesity epidemic, but in retrospect, the timing is kind of suspicious. — Jim Gaffigan

certificates can't replace self-education. — Sunday Adelaja

In the brain, all data is freely associated. When I go with my spouse to sing on a mortgage for our new home, I am reminded of the first place we lived together, which reminds me of our honeymoon in New Orleans, which reminds me of alligators, which remind me of dragons, which remind me of The Ring of the Nibelungen , and suddenly, before I know it, there I am humming the Siegfried leitmotif to a puzzled bank clerk. In bureaucracy, things must be kept apart. There is one drawer for home mortgages, another for marriage certificates, a third for tax registers, and a fourth for lawsuits. Otherwise, how can you find anything? — Yuval Noah Harari

No one has ever asked to see my degree certificate. — David Hockney

Bonds are guaranteed certificates of confiscation — Franz Pick

Laws forbidding adoptees from accessing their original birth certificates are outdated and need to be changed today. — DaShanne Stokes

Her kiss could kill us, and my consent signed our death certificates, selfishly and without control. (Eric) — Shannon A. Thompson

Some people won't have kids, but I'm not going to have parents. I'm burning their birth certificates and defacing their gravestones tonight. — Bauvard

The internet is insecure by default. Netiquette and security certificates add a level of safety. — David Chiles

My father and grandfather were stockbrokers, and they would actually take stock certificates from a vault, give it to a runner, and send it to another vault. Then somebody said, "Let's digitize it and have one vault." Now the DTCC clears and settles almost everything, and the cost of doing a trade is a tenth of what it was before. — Jamie Dimon

The town office building has a giant filing cabinet full of death certificates that say choked to death on his own anger or suffocated from unexpressed feelings of unhappiness. — Miriam Toews

My stepmother sold my birth certificate and someone asked why I didn't buy it back. I don't know, really. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It was mine. It cost me nothing and suddenly I had to buy it back. — Paul McCartney

I'm pretty sure that when babies are born in Oregon, they leave the hospital with birth certificates - and teeny-tiny sleeping bags. Everyone in the state camps. The hippies and the rednecks. The hunters and the tree huggers. Rich people. Poor people. Even rock musicians. Especially rock musicians. Our band had perfected the art of punk-rock camping, throwing a bunch of crap into the van with, like, an hour's notice and just driving out into the mountains, where we'd drink beer, burn food, jam on our instruments around the campfire, and sack out under the open sky. Sometimes, on tour, back in the early hardscrabble days, we'd even camp as an alternative to crashing in another crowded, roach-infested rock 'n' roll house.
I don't know if it's because no matter where you live, the wilderness is never that far off, but it just seemed like everyone in Oregon camped. — Gayle Forman

to shift from passbook accounts to certificates of — Connie Bruck

The next Monday, assembly seemed to go on forever. The kindy kids got up to sing 'Kookaburra', and then half of year two were awarded certificates for reading. Holly thought it would never end. Then — Rowan McAuley

It's been forty years of terrible waste,' she said, 'a whole country of wasted lives. It's a country of big children, people being naughty behind the teacher's back, people tattling on each other, people getting their dumb certificates for being good little socialists. People submitting to the system because they're German and because it's a system. The whole thing was stupid and a lie. But they're not arrogant, not know-it-alls. They give what they have and they take me the way I am.'

The closer she came to dying, the more sure of herself she became. She'd concluded that the meaning of a life was in the form of it. There was no answering the question of why she'd been born, she could only take what she'd been given and try to make it end well. She intended to die in her mother's bedroom, in the company of her brother and her only offspring, without the indignity of a colostomy bag. — Jonathan Franzen

I use Ole Henriksen eye gel when I think of it, and go for facials when spa gift certificates appear as a professional thank-you or in a gift bag. Once ensconced in a facialist's chair, I let myself be coaxed into all sorts of treatments, because I'm there already, so why not? — Sloane Crosley

By 2018, roughly 35 percent of the STEM workforce will be composed of those with sub-baccalaureate training, including 1 million associate degrees, 745,000 certificates, and 760,000 industry-based certifications. — Kimberly A. Green

These people need me and I need them. That's all I care about. I don't have to toil my youth away trying to get degrees or certificates to work in some soulless corporation. I don't want to find out just before I retire that the only thing that matters in life is how much you tried to make the world a better place. — Zainab Amadahy

It's a country of big children, people being naughty behind the teacher's back, people tattling on each other, people getting their dumb certificates for being good socialists. People submitting to the system because they're German and because it's a system. The whole thing was stupid and a lie. But they're not arrogant, not know-it-alls. They give what they have and they take me the way I am. — Jonathan Franzen

With grades like hers, she ought to go there.' 'So that's where I ended up. Six years I went and I never liked it. All I could think of was getting out. And you know, I've got certificates of merit for never having ben late or missed a day of school. That's how much I hated the place. Get it?'
'No, I don't get it.'
'It's cause I hated the place so much. I wasn't going to let it beat me. — Haruki Murakami

Behind every individual closes organization; before him opens liberty,
the Better, the Best. The first and worse races are dead.The second and imperfect races are dying out, or remain for the maturing of the higher. In the latest race, in man, every generosity, every new perception, the love and praise he extorts from his fellows, are certificates of advance out of fate into freedom. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

The world does not run on the number of certificates one has, but on the skills our hands have. Let the youth dream big and aim for the sky. The work of a government should be to open doors. — Narendra Modi

A verbal threat is the most authentic certificate of impotence. — Nassim Nicholas Taleb

When goods are exchanged between countries, they must be paid for by commodities or gold. They cannot be paid for by the notes, certificates, and checks of the purchaser's country, since these are of value only in the country of issue. — Carroll Quigley

You know, I think there was a point in time when people didn't really understand how birth certificates were kept in the state of Hawaii, and now, I think that it's been pretty much disclosed that they used to have a long form and now they don't have a long form. Arizona used to have a long form, we now have a short form. — Jan Brewer

The president, the secretary of state, the businessman, the preacher, the vendor, the spies, the clients and managers - all walking around Wall Street like chickens with their heads cut off - rushing to escape bankruptcy - plotting to melt down the Statue of Liberty - to press more copper pennies - to breed more headless chickens - to put more feathers in their caps - medals, diplomas, stock certificates, honorary doctorates - eggs and eggs of headless chickens - multitaskers - system hackers - who never know where they're heading
northward, backward, eastward, forward, and never homeward - (where is home) - home is in the head - (but the head is cut off) - and the nest is full of banking forms and Easter eggs with coins inside. Beheaded chickens, how do you breed chickens with their heads cut off? By teaching them how to bankrupt creativity. — Giannina Braschi

Law of Suspects. Suspects are those: who have in any way aided tyranny (royal tyranny, Brissotin tyranny ... ); who cannot show that they have performed their civic duties; who do not starve, and yet have no visible means of support; who have been refused certificates of citizenship by their Sections; who have been removed from public office by the Convention or its representatives; who belong to an aristocratic family, and have not given proof of constant and extraordinary revolutionary fervor; or who have emigrated. — Hilary Mantel

When Katrina struck in 2005, roughly 300 deaths were recorded at hospitals, long-term care facilities and in nursing homes, according to a recently published study of death certificates and disaster mortuary team records. Many of them might have been saved if they had been evacuated sooner. — Sheri Fink

Even when all the paperwork-a marriage license, a notarized deed, two birth certificates, and seven years of tax returns-clearly indicates you're an adult, but all the same, there you are, clutching the phone and thanking God that you're still somebody's daughter. — Kelly Corrigan

I looked around at all the certificates on the wall and felt thankful to come from a place where personal success was meaningless. — Matt Haig

Take, for example, the way in which physicians responded to the high mortality rates of children in orphanages early in the last century. Assuming that microorganisms were to blame, doctors separated children from one another and kept handling by adults to a minimum in order to reduce the risk of infection. Despite these mandates, children continued to die at such alarming rates that both intake forms and death certificates were completed at admission for the sake of efficiency. — Louis Cozolino

History is filled with examples of men and women who rendered highly effective performance without the conventional badges of accomplishment in terms of certificates, diplomas, or degrees. Diplomas and tests are useful servants, but Congress has mandated the commonsense proposition that they are not to become masters of reality. — Warren E. Burger

Obama is the closest thing to a Latino that we have. Barack. Everybody wants to see his birth certificate too. — George Lopez

I was born and raised in Zambia in 1969. At the time of my birth, blacks were not issued birth certificates, and that law only changed in 1973. — Dambisa Moyo

I've never won many awards, I didn't get certificates for swimming or anything. — Karl Pilkington

When banks place credits into your account, they are merely pretending to lend you money. In reality, they have nothing to lend. Even the money that non-indebted depositors have placed with them was originally created out of nothing in response to someone else's loan. So what entitles the banks to collect rent on nothing? It is immaterial that men everywhere are forced by law to accept these nothing certificates in exchange for real goods and services. We are talking here not about what is legal, but what is moral. — G. Edward Griffin

A mutual and satisfied sexual act is of great benefit to the average woman, the magnetism of it is health giving. When it is not desired on the part of the woman and she has no response, it should not take place. This is an act of prostitution and is degrading to the woman's finer sensibility, all the marriage certificates on earth to the contrary notwithstanding. — Margaret Sanger

I suppose you want me to give certificates to all the contestants? Little plastic trophies to every single athlete or soldier for participation? Should we all line up and shake hands and tell each other, Good game? No! — Rick Riordan

I've always hated receipts. They remind me of little death certificates for the money that you no longer have. How depressingly morbid. — Lacey London

Fifty years ago wealth was stored and transmitted physically through gold bars, stock certificates, bank notes, and coins. — Scott Cook

Wildcard certificates use a * for child domains to reduce the administrative burden of managing certificates. — Darril Gibson

It is [Simon] Wessely's often-unconcealed "derision" directed towards people with ME -- a disease from which people die and which appears on Coroners' death certificates as the cause of death -- which arouses such anger, an anger that is not confined to patients in the UK but encompasses medical scientists in other countries whose decision-makers have come under Wessely's thrall. — Michael Hanlon

My legislation, the Simple Savings Tax Relief Act of 2005, simply eliminates the taxation of interest earned in savings accounts, such as passbook savings accounts or bank certificates of deposit. — Cliff Stearns

For all its celebration of markets and individual initiative, this alliance of government and finance often produces results that bear a striking resemblance to the worst excesses of bureaucratization in the former Soviet Union or former colonial backwaters of the Global South. There is a rich anthropological literature, for instance, on the cult of certificates, licenses, and diplomas in the former colonial world. Often the argument is that in countries like Bangladesh, Trinidad, or Cameroon, which hover between the stifling legacy of colonial domination and their own magical traditions, official credentials are seen as a kind of material fetish - magical objects conveying power in their own right, entirely apart from the real knowledge, experience, or training they're supposed to represent. But since the eighties, the real explosion of credentialism has been in what are supposedly the most "advanced" economies, like the United States, Great Britain, or Canada. — David Graeber

I am the minister in The Ministry of Scarcity, but I'm not ordained because they were out of the paper they use to print the certificates on. Still, the title alone carries some weight (2.2 pounds). — Jarod Kintz

Peace is a certificate you get in the grave. — Peter Tosh

Grow up, study, get your certificates, get married, have kids, and die. Thank you very much for attending the joke called life. They — Cameron Jace

In medieval times, the Church used to sell 'indulgences' for money. This amounted to paying for some number of days' remission from purgatory, and the Church literally (and with breathtaking presumption) issued signed certificates specifying the number of days off that had been purchased ... And of all its money-making rip-offs, the selling of indulgences must surely rank among the greatest con tricks in history ... — Richard Dawkins

Every sect is a certificate that God has not plainly revealed his will to man. To each reader the Bible conveys a different meaning. — Robert Green Ingersoll

Most people get excited over new cars; I get excited over death certificates. It's no wonder my husband worries about my state of mind. — Rett MacPherson

I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it. — Steven Wright

I am always looking for ways our government can help make everyday life easier for Ontarians, and these new polymer birth certificates do just that. Having a safe and durable birth certificate will provide more security and help protect people from fraud and identify theft. — Kathleen Wynne

It occurred to me that I would like to be a poet. The chief qualification, I understand is that you must be born. Well, I hunted up my birth certificate, and found that I was all right on that score. — Hector Hugh Munro

There is no such thing as a "broken family." Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you. — C. JoyBell C.

Suicide is what the death certificate says when one dies of depression. — Peter D. Kramer