Carpetbag Quotes & Sayings

Smile to the future and it will smile back to you — Yoko Ono

I would not take one cup of coffee from a grower ... There's not a good one. I hate them. A few presents, a little talk, then the noose. That's how capitalism works. — Cesar Chavez

No advance in wealth, no softening of manners, no reform or revolution has ever brought human equality a millimeter nearer. — George Orwell

I massaged and trained in figure and facial exercises - although facial exercises are a lot of crap; the only effective one is cocksucking. No joke, there's nothing like it for firming the jawline. — Truman Capote

He is an atheist who does not believe in himself. The old religions said that he was an atheist who did not believe in God. The new religion says that he is an atheist who does not believe in himself. — Swami Vivekananda

I read something once that when you're online, your inhibitions are lowered to the state where you've had three drinks. Once you basically know that the entire internet is slightly drunk, it all makes a lot more sense, and you deport yourself accordingly. — Caitlin Moran

For me, though, the fun is over when I get the job. — Helmut Jahn

MapReduce has become the assembly language for big data processing, and SnapReduce employs sophisticated techniques to compile SnapLogic data integration pipelines into this new big data target language. Applying everything we know about the two worlds of integration and Hadoop, we built our technology to directly fit MapReduce, making the process of connectivity and large scale data integration seamless and simple. — Greg Benson

I want my pockets to be like a TARDIS, or Mary Poppins's carpetbag. — Jenny Lawson

YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age. — Ambrose Bierce

People tell me things they shouldn't. Things they ought to be powdering over, shoveling underground, facts they ought to be stuffing into a carpetbag before dropping into the river and quietly drowning. — Lyndsay Faye

Instead of food giving me energy, I am always tired after I eat, which explains why I am always tired. I go to the gym just so I will stop eating for an hour, which, I believe, is the American form of fasting. — Jim Gaffigan

I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable. — Bob Newhart

If you will just start with the idea that this is a hard world, it will all be much simpler. — Louis D. Brandeis

To me the biggest waste of time is commuting. First, there is no place that is less than a two-hour commute from New York. You can be half a mile outside of the city limits; you're two hours away by car. I don't care how close they tell you it is. "Oh, it's only thirty miles." Thirty miles? At 8:30 in the morning, thirty miles outside New York, you might as well be starting out in Omaha. — Fran Lebowitz

The man whose eye
Is ever on himself doth look on one,
The least of Nature's works, one who might move
The wise man to that scorn which wisdom holds
Unlawful, ever. O, be wiser, Thou!
Instructed that true knowledge leads to love;
True dignity abides with him alone
Who, in the silent hour of inward thought,
Can still suspect, and still revere himself,
In loneliness of heart. — William Wordsworth

I put the carpetbag on a ledge, and then, hanging upside down by my razor-clawed feet, slept until sunset. A first for me, and actually quite comfortable.
Lord help me. — J.R. Rain