But Chesterfield Quotes & Sayings

Truth, but not the whole truth, must be the invariable principle of every man who hath either religion, honour, or prudence. Thosewho violate it, may be cunning, but they are not able. Lies and perfidy are the refuge of fools and cowards. — Lord Chesterfield

Give nobly to indigent merit, and do not refuse your charity even to those who have not merit but their misery. — Lord Chesterfield

Little minds mistake little objects for great ones, and lavish away upon the former that time and attention which only the latterdeserve. To such mistakes we owe the numerous and frivolous tribe of insect-mongers, shell-mongers, and pursuers and driers of butterflies, etc. The strong mind distinguishes, not only between the useful and the useless, but likewise between the useful and the curious. — Lord Chesterfield

You must be respectful and assenting, but without being servile and abject. You must be frank, but without indiscretion, and close, without being costive. You must keep up dignity of character, without the least pride of birth, or rank. You must be gay, within all the bounds of decency and respect; and grave, without the affectation of wisdom, which does not become the age of twenty. You must be essentially secret, without being dark and mysterious. You must be firm, and even bold, but with great seeming modesty. — Lord Chesterfield

If a man, notoriously and designedly, insults and affronts you, knock him down; but if he only injures you, your best revenge is to be extremely civil to him in your outward behaviour, though at the same time you counterwork him, and return him the compliment, perhaps with interest. — Lord Chesterfield

All I desire for my own burial, is not to be buried alive; but how or where, I think, must be entirely indifferent to every rational creature. — Lord Chesterfield

The talent of insinuation is more useful than that of persuasion, as everybody is open to insinuation, but scarce any to persuasion. — Lord Chesterfield

Virtue and learning, like gold, have their intrinsic value: but if they are not polished, they certainly lose a great deal of their luster: and even polished brass will pass upon more people than rough gold. — Lord Chesterfield

The vulgar only laugh, but never smile; whereas well-bred people often smile, but seldom laugh. — Lord Chesterfield

Wrongs are often forgiven, but contempt never is. Our pride remembers it forever. It implies a discovery of weakness, which we are more careful to conceal than a crime. Many a man will confess his crimes to a friend; but I never knew a man that would tell his silly weaknesses to his most intimate one. — Lord Chesterfield

History is but a confused heap of facts. — Lord Chesterfield

Ties of blood are not always ties of friendship; but friendship founded on merit, on esteem, and on mutual trust, becomes more vital and more tender when strengthened by the ties of blood. — Lord Chesterfield

At any age we must cherish illusions, consolatory or merely pleasant; in youth, they are omnipresent; in old age we must search for them, or even invent them. But with all that, boredom is their natural and inevitable accompaniment. — Lord Chesterfield

Smooth your way to the head, through the heart. The way of reason is a good one; but it is commonly something longer, and perhapsnot so sure. — Lord Chesterfield

Study the heart and the mind of man, and begin with your own. Meditation and reflection must lay the foundation of that knowledge, but experience and practice must, and alone can, complete it. — Lord Chesterfield

Dancing is, in itself, a very trifling and silly thing: but it is one of those established follies to which people of sense are sometimes obliged to conform; and then they should be able to do it well. And though I would not have you a dancer, yet, when you do dance, I would have you dance well, as I would have you do everything you do well. — Lord Chesterfield

A man's fortune is frequently decided by his first address. If pleasing, others at once conclude he has merit; but if ungraceful, they decide against him. — Lord Chesterfield

Mind not only what people say, but how they say it; and if you have any sagacity, you may discover more truth by your eyes than by your ears. People can say what they will, but they cannot look just as they will; and their looks frequently (reveal) what their words are calculated to conceal. — Lord Chesterfield

Lord Chesterfield advises his son "to speak often, but not to speak much at a time; so that if he does not please, he will not at least displease to any great extent."
Rousseau tells us, that, "persons who know little, talk a great deal, while those who know a great deal say very little. — Arthur Martine

You should not only have attention to everything, but a quickness of attention, so as to observe at once all the people in the room
their motions, their looks and their words
and yet without staring at them and seeming to be an observer. — Lord Chesterfield

The world can doubtless never be well known by theory: practice is absolutely necessary; but surely it is of great use to a young man, before he sets out for that country, full of mazes, windings, and turnings, to have at least a general map of it, made by some experienced traveler. — Lord Chesterfield

Women have, in general, but ne object, which is their beauty; upon which, scarce any flattery is too gross for them to swallow. — Lord Chesterfield

I knew a gentleman who was so good a manager of his time that he would not even lose that small portion of it which the calls of nature obliged him to pass in the necessary-house; but gradually went through all the Latin poets in those moments. — Lord Chesterfield

Lord Tyrawley and I have been dead these two years, but we don't choose to have it known. — Lord Chesterfield

Endeavor, as much as you can, to keep company with people above you ... Do not mistake, when I say company above you, and think that I mean with regard to their birth; that is the least consideration; but I mean with regard to their merit, and the light in which the world considers them. — Lord Chesterfield

Judgment is not upon all occasions required, but discretion always is. — Lord Chesterfield

Without any extraordinary effort of genius, I have discovered that nature was the same three thousand years ago as at present; that men were but men then as well as now; that modes and customs vary often, but that human nature is always the same. And I can no more suppose, that men were better, braver, or wiser, fifteen hundred or three thousand years ago, than I can suppose that the animals or vegetables were better than they are now. — Lord Chesterfield

Never yield to that temptation, which, to most young men, is very strong, of exposing other people's weaknesses and infirmities, for the sake either of diverting the company, or of showing your own superiority. You may get the laugh on your side by it for the present; but you will make enemies by it for ever; and even those who laugh with you then, will, upon reflection, fear, and consequently hate you. — Lord Chesterfield

I often wish for the end of the wretched remnant of my life; and that wish is a rational one; but then the innate principle of self-preservation, wisely implanted in our natures, for obvious purposes, opposes that wish, and makes us endeavour to spin out our thread as long as we can, however decayed and rotten it may be. — Lord Chesterfield

Learning is acquired by reading books, but the much more necessary learning, the knowledge of the world, is only to be acquired by reading men, and studying all the various facets of them. — Lord Chesterfield

Little secrets are commonly told again, but great ones generally kept. — Lord Chesterfield

Remember, as long as you live, that nothing but strict truth can carry you through the world, with either your conscience or your honor unwounded. — Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl Of Chesterfield

There are people who indulge themselves in a sort of lying, which they reckon innocent, and which in one sense is so; for it hurtsnobody but themselves. This sort of lying is the spurious offspring of vanity, begotten upon folly. — Lord Chesterfield

Not to perceive the little weaknesses and the idle but innocent affectations of the company may be allowable as a sort of polite duty. The company will be pleased with you if you do, and most probably will not be reformed by you if you do not. — Lord Chesterfield

A man of fashion never has recourse to proverbs, and vulgar aphorisms; uses neither favourite words nor hard words, but takes great care to speak very correctly and grammatically, and to pronounce properly; that is, according to the usage of the best companies. — Lord Chesterfield

It is often more necessary to conceal contempt than resentment; the former is never forgiven, but the later is sometimes forgotten. — Lord Chesterfield

This man [Chesterfield], I thought, had been a Lord among wits; but I find he is only a wit among Lords. — Samuel Johnson

If democracy is destroyed in Britain it will be not the communists, Trotskyists or subversives but this House which threw it away. The rights that are entrusted to us are not for us to give away. Even if I agree with everything that is proposed, I cannot hand away powers lent to me for five years by the people of Chesterfield. I just could not do it. It would be theft of public rights. — Tony Benn

Never write down your speeches beforehand; if you do, you may perhaps be a good declaimer, but will never be a debater. — Lord Chesterfield

In business be as able as you can, but do not be cunning; cunning is the dark sanctuary of incapacity. — Lord Chesterfield

Most arts require long study and application; but the most useful of all, that of pleasing, only the desire. — Lord Chesterfield

A man of sense may be in haste, but can never be in a hurry. — Lord Chesterfield

Cardinal Mazarin was a great knave, but no great man; much more cunning than able; scandalously false and dirtily greedy. — Lord Chesterfield

Many new years you may see, but happy ones you cannot see without deserving them. These virtue, honor, and knowledge alone can merit, alone can produce. — Lord Chesterfield

Let your enemies be disarmed by the gentleness of your manner, but at the same time let them feel, the steadiness of your resentment. — Lord Chesterfield

All ceremonies are in themselves very silly things; but yet, a man of the world should know them. They are the outworks of Mannersand Decency, which would be too often broken in upon, if it were not for that defence, which keeps the enemy at a proper distance. — Lord Chesterfield

As kings are begotten and born like other men, it is to be presumed that they are of the human species; and perhaps, had they thesame education, they might prove like other men. But, flattered from their cradles, their hearts are corrupted, and their heads are turned, so that they seem to be a species by themselves ... Flattery cannot be too strong for them; drunk with it from their infancy, like old drinkers, they require dreams. — Lord Chesterfield

One man affirms that he has rode post a hundred miles in six hours; probably it is a lie; but supposing it to be true, what then? Why, he is a very good post-boy; that is all. Another asserts, and probably not without oaths, that he has drunk six or eight bottles of wine at a sitting; out of charity I will believe him a liar; for if I do not, I must think him a beast. — Lord Chesterfield

Deserve a great deal, and you shall have a great deal; deserve little, and you shall have but a little; and be good for nothing atall, and I assure you, you shall have nothing at all. — Lord Chesterfield

Wise people may say what they will, but one passion is never cured by another. — Lord Chesterfield

A gentleman is often seen, but very seldom heard to laugh. — Lord Chesterfield

It is by vivacity and wit that man shines in company; but trite jokes and loud laughter reduce him to a buffoon. — Lord Chesterfield

For my own part, I would rather be in company with a dead man than with an absent one; for if the dead man gives me no pleasure, at least he shows me no contempt; whereas the absent one, silently indeed, but very plainly, tells me that he does not think me worth his attention. — Lord Chesterfield

Civility, which is a disposition to accommodate and oblige others, is essentially the same in every country; but good breeding, asit is called, which is the manner of exerting that disposition, is different in almost every country, and merely local; and every man of sense imitates and conforms to that local good breeding of the place which he is at. — Lord Chesterfield

An honest man may really love a pretty girl, but only an idiot marries her merely because she is pretty. — Lord Chesterfield

There is nothing so necessary, but at the same time there is nothing more difficult (I know it by experience) for you young fellows, than to know how to behave yourselves prudently towards those whom you do not like. Your passions are warm, and your heads are light; you hate all those who oppose your views, either of ambition or love; and a rival, in either, is almost a synonymous term for any enemy. — Lord Chesterfield

Speak of the moderns without contempt and of the ancients without idolatry; judge them all by their merits, but not by their age — Lord Chesterfield

Deafness produces bizarre effects, reversing the natural order of things; the interchange of letters is the conversation of the deaf, and the only link with society. I would be in despair, for instance, over seeing you speak, but, instead, I am only too happy to hear you write. — Lord Chesterfield

To know a little of anything gives neither satisfaction nor credit, but often brings disgrace or ridicule. — Lord Chesterfield

Women are much more like each other than men: they have, in truth, but two passions, vanity and love; these are their universal characteristics. — Lord Chesterfield

A learned parson, rusting in his cell at Oxford or Cambridge, will reason admirably well on the nature of man; will profoundly analyse the head, the heart, the reason, the will, the passions, the sentiments, and all those subdivisions of we know not what; and yet, unfortunately, he knows nothing of man ... He views man as he does colours in Sir Isaac Newton's prism, where only the capital ones are seen; but an experienced dyer knows all their various shades and gradations, together with the result of their several mixtures. — Lord Chesterfield

Gold and silver are but merchandise, as well as cloth or linen; and that nation that buys the least, and sells the most, must always have the most money. — Lord Chesterfield

Physical ills are the taxes laid upon this wretched life; some are taxed higher, and some lower, but all pay something. — Lord Chesterfield

I give my vote for Mr. Johnson to fill that great and arduous post. And I hereby declare that I make a total surrender of all my rights and privileges in the English language, as a freeborn British subject, to the said Mr. Johnson, during the term of his dictatorship. Nay more; I will not only obey him, like an old Roman, as my dictator, but, like a modern Roman, I will implicitly believe in him as my pope, and hold him to be infallible while in the chair; but no longer. — Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield

I am provoked at the contempt which most historians show for humanity in general; one would think by them, that the whole human species consisted but of about a hundred and fifty people, called and dignified (commonly very undeservedly too) by the titles of Emperors, Kings, Popes, Generals, and Ministers. — Lord Chesterfield

Let this be one invariable rule of your conduct
never to show the least symptom of resentment, which you cannot, to a certain degree, gratify; but always to smile, where you cannot strike. — Lord Chesterfield

Learn to shrink yourself to the size of the company you are in. Take their tone, whatever it may be, and excell in it if you can;but never pretend to give the tone. A free conversation will no more bear a dictator than a free government will. — Lord Chesterfield

May you live as long as you are fit to live, but no longer, or, may you rather die before you cease to be fit to live than after! — Lord Chesterfield

The rich are always advising the poor, but the poor seldom return the compliment. — Lord Chesterfield

A man of the best parts and greatest learning, if he does not know the world by his own experience and observation, will be very absurd, and consequently very unwelcome in company. He may say very good things; but they will be probably so ill-timed, misplaced, or improperly addressed, that he had much better hold his tongue. — Lord Chesterfield

Let us not only scatter benefits, but even strew flowers for our fellow-travellers, in the rugged ways of this wretched world. — Lord Chesterfield

Observe it, the vulgar often laugh, but never smile, whereas well-bred people often smile, and seldom or never laugh. A witty thing never excited laughter, it pleases only the mind and never distorts the countenance. — Lord Chesterfield

I would rather have a young fellow too much than too little dressed; the excess on that side will wear off, with a little age and reflection; but if he is negligent at twenty, he will be a sloven at forty, and stink at fifty years old. Dress yourself fine where others are fine, and plain where others are plain; but take care always that your clothes are well made and fit you, for otherwise they will give you a very awkward air. — Lord Chesterfield

Remember that the wit, humour, and jokes of most mixed companies are local. They thrive in that particular soil, but will not often bear transplanting. — Lord Chesterfield

No woman ever yet either reasoned or acted long together consequentially; but some little thing, some love, some resentment, somepresent momentary interest, some supposed slight, or some humour, always breaks in upon, and oversets their most prudent resolutions and schemes. — Lord Chesterfield

I always put these pert jackanapeses out of countenance by looking extremely grave when they expect that I should laugh at their pleasantries; and by saying Well, and so?
as if they had not done, and that the sting were still to come. This disconcerts them, as they have no resources in themselves, and have but one set of jokes to live upon. — Lord Chesterfield

The only sure way of avoiding these evils [vanity and boasting] is never to speak of yourself at all. But when, historically, youare obliged to mention yourself, take care not to drop one single word that can directly or indirectly be construed as fishing for applause. — Lord Chesterfield

A judicious reticence is hard to learn, but it is one of the great lessons of life. — Lord Chesterfield

If you love music hear it; go to operas, concerts, and pay fiddlers to play to you; but I insist upon your neither piping nor fiddling yourself. It puts a gentleman in a very frivolous, contemptible light; brings him into a great deal of bad company; and takes up a great deal of time, which might be much better employed. — Lord Chesterfield

Were you to converse with a king, you ought to be as easy and unembarrassed as with your own valet-de chambre; but yet every look,word, and action should imply the utmost respect ... You must wait till you are spoken to; you must receive, not give, the subject of conversation, and you must even take care that the given subject of such conversation do not lead you into any impropriety. — Lord Chesterfield

Pray be always in motion. Early in the morning go and see things; and the rest of the day go and see people. If you stay but a week at a place, and that an insignificant one, see, however, all that is to be seen there; know as many people, and get into as many houses as ever you can. — Lord Chesterfield

I am grown old, and have possibly lost a great deal of that fire, which formerly made me love fire in others at any rate, and however attended with smoke: but now I must have all sense, and cannot, for the sake of five righteous lines, forgive a thousand absurd ones. — Lord Chesterfield

All I can say, in answer to this kind queries [of friends] is that I have not the distemper called the Plague; but that I have allthe plagues of old age, and of a shattered carcase. — Lord Chesterfield

Compliments of congratulation are always kindly taken, and cost nothing but pen, ink and paper. I consider them as draughts upon good breeding, where the exchange is always greatly in favor of the drawer. — Lord Chesterfield

Young men are as apt to think themselves wise enough, as drunken men are to think themselves sober enough. They look upon spirit to be a much better thing than experience; which they call coldness. They are but half mistaken; for though spirit without experience is dangerous, experience without spirit is languid and ineffective. — Lord Chesterfield

Loud laughter is the mirth of the mob, who are only pleased with silly things; for true Wit or good Sense never excited a laugh since the creation of the world. A man of parts and fashion is therefore often seen to smile, but never heard to laugh. — Lord Chesterfield

Our prejudices are our mistresses; reason is at best our wife, very often heard indeed, but seldom minded. — Lord Chesterfield

Violent measures are always dangerous, but, when necessary, may then be looked on as wise. They have, however, the advantage of never being matter of indifference; and, when well concerted, must be decisive. — Lord Chesterfield

A man of sense only trifles with them, plays with them, humors and flatters them, as he does with a sprightly and forward child; but he neither consults them about, nor trusts them with, serious matters. — Lord Chesterfield

Singularity is only pardonable in old age and retirement; I may now be as singular as I please, but you may not. — Lord Chesterfield

Cautiously avoid speaking of the domestic affairs either of yourself, or of other people. Yours are nothing to them but tedious gossip; and theirs are nothing to you. — Lord Chesterfield

Enjoy pleasures, but let them be your own, and then you will taste them. — Lord Chesterfield

Most people have ears, but few have judgment; tickle those ears, and depend upon it, you will catch their judgments, such as they are. — Lord Chesterfield

Almost all men are born with every passion to some extent, but there is hardly a man who has not a dominant passion to which the others are subordinate. Discover this governing passion in every individual; and when you have found the master passion of a man, remember never to trust to him where that passion is concerned. — Lord Chesterfield

Great merit or great failings will make you respected or despised; but trifles, little attentions, mere nothings, either done or neglected, will make you either liked or disliked, in the general run of the world. Examine yourself, why you like such and such people and dislike such and such others; and you will find that those different sentiments proceed from very slight causes. — Lord Chesterfield

Most maxim-mongers have preferred the prettiness to the justness of a thought, and the turn to the truth; but I have refused myself to everything that my own experience did not justify and confirm. — Lord Chesterfield