Broflovski Garage Quotes & Sayings

I have a stand-up routine I do about masturbation and the unwanted thoughts that go through women's heads when they put their hands under their sheets. I need a story to think about. I need a fantasy that makes sense. I can't just finger myself and picture Johnny Depp's face. It needs a sense of realism, like how did I meet Johnny Depp? He lives in France. I don't have a work visa. Besides, he has children and I've made it quite clear that I don't want to be a mom and I don't want to be stepmom either. — Jen Kirkman

You know, Alundra Blayze, with her looks could star in TV westerns ... if she had two more legs. — Jerry Lawler

I will have reached the point of greatest strength once I have learned to wait for hope. — George Matheson

The system can be cruel. Not just cruel, it can be downright barbaric. — Scott Pratt

The world is not looking for proof of Jesus Christ; the world knew everything about Jesus when they crucified him. The world is guilty. John 16:5-8. — Felix Wantang