Brene Quotes & Sayings

To become fully human means learning to turn my gratitude for being alive into some concrete common good. It means growing gentler toward human weakness. It means practicing forgiveness of my and everyone else's hourly failures to live up to divine standards. It means learning to forget myself on a regular basis in order to attend to the other selves in my vicinity. It means living so that "I'm only human" does not become an excuse for anything. It means receiving the human condition as blessing and not curse, in all its achingly frail and redemptive reality. — Brene Brown

What Is Joy? Joy seems to me a step beyond happiness. Happiness is a sort of atmosphere you can live in sometimes when you're lucky. Joy is a light that fills you with hope and faith and love. — Brene Brown

I don't have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness - it's right in front of me if I'm paying attention and practicing gratitude. — Brene Brown

Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. — Brene Brown

Like the word hope, we often think of power as negative. It's not. The best definition of power comes from Martin Luther King Jr. He described power as the ability to effect change. — Brene Brown

If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief. — Brene Brown

We cannot grow when we are in shame, and we can't use shame to change ourselves or others. — Brene Brown

Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough. — Brene Brown

You can't get to courage without walking through vulnerability. — Brene Brown

When you numb your pain you also numb your joy. — Brene Brown

If we understand how larger systems are contributing to our shame and we choose only to change ourselves, we become as negligent as the person who says, "I'm not changing myself, because the system is bad." Context is not the enemy of personal responsibility. Individualism is the enemy of personal responsibility. — Brene Brown

All the stuff that keeps you safe from feeling scary emotions? They also keep you from feeling the good emotions. You have to shake those off. You have to become vulnerable. — Brene Brown

We cannot give our children what we don't have. — Brene Brown

I hesitate to use a pathologizing label, but underneath the so-called narcissistic personality is definitely shame and the paralyzing fear of being ordinary. — Brene Brown

One of the most painfully inauthentic ways we show up in our lives sometimes is saying "yes" when we mean "no," and saying "no" when we mean "hell yes." I'm the oldest of four, a people-pleaser - that's the good girl straitjacket that I wear sometimes. I spent a lot of my life saying yes all the time and then being pissed off and resentful. — Brene Brown

gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering. I wanted to develop research that explained the anatomy of connection. Studying connection — Brene Brown

I've learned enough about privilege to know that we're at our most dangerous when we think we've learned everything we need to know about it. That's when you stop paying attention to injustice. And make no mistake, not paying attention because you're not the one getting harassed or fired or pulled over or underpaid is the definition of privilege. — Brene Brown

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others. — Brene Brown

If we're going to put ourselves out there and love with our whole hearts, we're going to experience heartbreak. — Brene Brown

All I know is that my life is better when I assume that people are doing their best. It keeps me out of judgment and lets me focus on what is, and not what should or could be. — Brene Brown

I see the fear of never feeling extraordinary enough to be noticed, to be lovable, to belong, or to cultivate a sense of purpose. Sometimes the simple act of humanizing problems sheds an important light on them, a light that often goes out the minute a stigmatizing label is applied. — Brene Brown

It thrives on secrecy, silence, and judgment. If we can share our experience of shame with someone who responds with empathy, shame can't survive. We — Brene Brown

Breath for a count of four - one, two, three, four. The breathing method many therapists and mindfulness practitioners — Brene Brown

My husband's a pediatrician, so he and I talk about parenting all the time. You can't raise children who have more shame resilience than you do. — Brene Brown

Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we're all in this together. — Brene Brown

We've survived and are surviving events that have torn at our sense of safety with such force that we've experienced them as trauma even if we weren't directly involved. — Brene Brown

The question isn't so much, Are you parenting the right way? as it is: Are you the adult you want your child to grow up to be? — Brene Brown

That's really part of being a grounded theory researcher - putting names to concepts and experiences that people have. — Brene Brown

the absence of love and belonging will always lead to suffering. It — Brene Brown

For me, vulnerability led to anxiety, which led to shame, which led to disconnection, which led to Bud Light. — Brene Brown

Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it- it can't survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy. When we bury our story, the shame metastasizes. — Brene Brown

I only share when I have no unmet needs that I'm trying to fill. I firmly believe that being vulnerable with a larger audience is only a good idea if the healing is tied to the sharing, not to the expectations I might have for the response I get. — Brene Brown

Maybe looking away is about privilege. I need to think harder and longer about my choices and recognize that choosing whom I see and whom I don't see is one of the most hurtful functions of privilege. — Brene Brown

But as poet Mizuta Masahide wrote, "Barn's burnt down / now / I can see the moon. — Brene Brown

I love to take, process and share photos - it fills me up. — Brene Brown

Healthy-striving self-talk: "I want this for me. I want to feel better and be healthier. The scale doesn't dictate if I'm loved and accepted. If I believe that I'm worthy of love and respect now, I will invite courage, compassion, and connection into my life. I want to figure this out for me. I can do this. — Brene Brown

Guilt says: I made a mistake. Shame says: I AM a mistake. — Brene Brown

The irony is that when we're standing across from someone who is hidden or shielded by masks and armor, we feel frustrated and disconnected. That's the paradox here: Vulnerability is the last thing I want you to see in me, but the first thing I look for in you. If — Brene Brown

I'd love to skip over the hard stuff, but it just doesn't work. We don't change, we don't grow, and we don't move forward without the work. — Brene Brown

A good life happens when you stop and are grateful for the ordinary moments that so many of us just steamroll over to try to find those extraordinary moments. — Brene Brown

A small, quiet, grassroots movement that starts with each of us saying, "My story matters because I matter." A movement where we can take to the streets with our messy, imperfect, wild, stretch-marked, wonderful, heartbreaking, grace-filled, and joyful lives. A movement fueled by the freedom that comes when we stop pretending that everything is okay when it isn't. A call that rises up from our bellies when we find the courage to celebrate those intensely joyful moments even though we've convinced ourselves that savoring happiness is inviting disaster. Revolution — Brene Brown

Connection, the ability to feel connected, is neurobiologically wired, that's why we're here! — Brene Brown

Self-compassion is key because when we're able to be gentle with ourselves in the midst of shame, we're more likely to reach out, connect, and experience empathy. — Brene Brown

I believe that what we regret most are our failures of courage, whether it's the courage to be kinder, to show up, to say how we feel, to set boundaries, to be good to ourselves. For that reason, regret can be the birthplace of empathy. — Brene Brown

We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can't have both. Not at the same time. — Brene Brown

When they teach [doctors] how to suture, they also teach them how to stitch their self-worth to being all-powerful. — Brene Brown

If we want freedom from perfectionism, we have to make the long journey from "What will people think?" to "I am enough." That journey begins with shame resilience, self-compassion, and owning our stories. — Brene Brown

Wholehearted life: loving ourselves. — Brene Brown

Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it's often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis. — Brene Brown

Einstein said, "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existence." Curiosity's reason for existing is not simply to be a tool used in acquiring knowledge; it reminds us that we're alive. Researchers are finding evidence that curiosity is correlated with creativity, intelligence, improved learning and memory, and problem solving. — Brene Brown

Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It's tough to do that when we're terrified about what people might see or think. — Brene Brown

No one reaches out to you for compassion or empathy so you can teach them how to behave better. They reach out to us because they believe in our capacity to know our darkness well enough to sit in the dark with them. — Brene Brown

'Crazy-busy' is a great armor, it's a great way for numbing. What a lot of us do is that we stay so busy, and so out in front of our life, that the truth of how we're feeling and what we really need can't catch up with us. — Brene Brown

I'm learning that recognizing and leaning into the discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude, and grace. I'm also learning that the uncomfortable and scary leaning requires both spirit and resilience. — Brene Brown

The only universal language I know of that wraps up joy and gratitude and love is laughter. — Brene Brown

The opposite of scarcity is not abundance; the opposite of scarcity is simply enough. Empathy is not finite, and compassion is not a pizza with eight slices. When you practice empathy and compassion with someone, there is not less of these qualities to go around. There's more. Love is the last thing we need to ration in this world. The refugee in Syria doesn't benefit more if you conserve your kindness only for her and withhold it from your neighbor who's going through a divorce. Yes, perspective is critical. But I'm a firm believer that complaining is okay as long as we piss and moan with a little perspective. Hurt is hurt, and every time we honor our own struggle and the struggles of others by responding with empathy and compassion, the healing that results affects all of us. — Brene Brown

The profound danger is that, as noted above, we start to think of feeling as weakness. With the exception of anger (which is a secondary emotion, one that only serves as a socially acceptable mask for many of the more difficult underlying emotions we feel), we're losing our tolerance for emotion and hence for vulnerability. — Brene Brown

Living a connected life ultimately is about setting boundaries, spending less time and energy hustling and winning over people who don't matter, and seeing the value of working on cultivating connection with family and close friends. — Brene Brown

In fact, all of us are very susceptible to having our humiliating experiences turn to shame, especially when the person who is putting us down is someone with whom we have a valued relationship or someone whom we perceive to have more power than we do... — Brene Brown

I'm just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I'm alive. — Brene Brown

C. S. Lewis wrote, No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. — Brene Brown

Get Inspired: I'm continually inspired by Stuart Brown's work on play and Daniel Pink's book A Whole New Mind.4 If you want to learn more about the importance of play and rest, read these books. — Brene Brown

We're all so busy chasing the extraordinary that we forget to stop and be grateful for the ordinary. — Brene Brown

Nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous and hurtful as believing that I'm standing on the outside of my life looking in and wondering what it would be like if I had the courage to show up and let myself be seen. — Brene Brown

We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don't function as were meant to be. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache ... The absence of love and belonging will always lead to suffering. — Brene Brown

TEN GUIDEPOSTS FOR WHOLEHEARTED LIVING 1. Cultivating authenticity: letting go of what people think 2. Cultivating self-compassion: letting go of perfectionism 3. Cultivating a resilient spirit: letting go of numbing and powerlessness 4. Cultivating gratitude and joy: letting go of scarcity and fear of the dark 5. Cultivating intuition and trusting faith: letting go of the need for certainty 6. Cultivating creativity: letting go of comparison 7. Cultivating play and rest: letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth 8. Cultivating calm and stillness: letting go of anxiety as a lifestyle 9. Cultivating meaningful work: letting go of self-doubt and "supposed to" 10. Cultivating laughter, song, and dance: letting go of being cool and "always in control — Brene Brown

And often the result of daring greatly isn't a victory march as much as it is a quiet sense of freedom mixed with a little battle fatigue. — Brene Brown

Joy comes to us in moments - ordinary moments. We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary. Scarcity culture may keep us afraid of living small, ordinary lives, but when you talk to people who have survived great losses, it is clear that joy is not a constant. — Brene Brown

The refugee in Syria doesn't benefit more if you conserve your kindness only for her and withhold it from your neighbor who's going through a divorce. — Brene Brown

Courage gives us a voice and compassion gives us an ear. Without both, there is no opportunity for empathy and connection. — Brene Brown

I thought I'd find that Wholehearted people were just like me and doing all of the same things I was doing: working hard, following the rules, doing it until I got it right, always trying to know myself better, raising my kids exactly by the books ... — Brene Brown

hope is a combination of setting goals, having the tenacity and perseverance to pursue them, and believing in our own abilities. — Brene Brown

Those who feel lovable, who love, and who experience belonging simply believe they are worthy of love and belonging. I often say that Wholeheartedness is like the North Star: We never really arrive, but we certainly know if we're headed in the right direction. — Brene Brown

Don't shrink. Don't puff up. Stand on your sacred ground. — Brene Brown

If we own the story then we can write the ending. — Brene Brown

When I let go of trying to be everything to everyone, I had much more time, attention, love, and connection for the important people in my life. — Brene Brown

Choose discomfort over resentment. — Brene Brown

I think attempting to sell people an easy fix for pain is the worst kind of snake oil. — Brene Brown

that imposter or phony feeling at work or school rarely has anything to do with our abilities, but has more to do with that fearful voice inside of us that scolds and asks, "Who do you think you are? — Brene Brown

Our need for certainty in an endeavor as uncertain as raising children makes explicit 'how-to-parent' strategies both seductive and dangerous. — Brene Brown

stop dehumanizing people and start looking them in the eye when we speak to them. If we don't have the energy or time to do that, we should stay at home. — Brene Brown

People may call what happens at midlife "a crisis," but it's not. It's an unraveling - a time when you feel a desperate pull to live the life you want to live, not the one you're "supposed" to live. The unraveling is a time when you are challenged by the universe to let go of who you think you are supposed to be and to embrace who you are. — Brene Brown

A leader is anyone who holds her- or himself accountable for finding potential in people and processes. — Brene Brown

The greatest casualties of a scarcity culture are our willingness to own our vulnerabilities and our ability to engage with the world from a place of worthiness. — Brene Brown

Technology, for instance, has become a kind of imposter for connection, making us believe we're connected when we're really not - at least not in the ways we need to be. — Brene Brown

Fitting in is the greatest barrier to belonging. — Brene Brown

It felt like a textbook breakdown to me, but Diana called it a spiritual awakening. I think we were both right. In fact, I'm starting to question if you can have one without the other. — Brene Brown

At the exact time that our society embraces shaming, blaming, judgment, and rejection, it also holds acceptance and belonging as immensely important. In other words, it's never been more impossible to 'fit in,' yet 'fitting in' has never been more important and valued — Brene Brown

Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love. — Brene Brown

If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people's choices. If I feel good about my body, I don't go around making fun of other people's weight or appearance. We're hard on each other because we're using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived deficiency. — Brene Brown

Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them. — Brene Brown

It's not an accidental entanglement; it's an intentional knot. Love belongs with belonging. — Brene Brown

How would education be different if students, teachers, and parents sat on the same side of the table? How would engagement change if leaders sat down next to folks and said, "Thank you for your contributions. Here's how you're making a difference. This issue is getting in the way of your growth, and I think we can tackle it together. — Brene Brown

Raising children who are hopeful and who have the courage to be vulnerable means stepping back and letting them experience disappointment, deal with conflict, learn how to assert themselves, and have the opportunity to fail. If we're always following our children into the arena, hushing the critics, and assuring their victory, they'll never learn that they have the ability to dare greatly on their own. — Brene Brown

I was healthier, more joyful, and more grateful than I had ever felt. I felt calmer and grounded, and significantly less anxious. I had rekindled my creative life, reconnected with my family and friends in a new way, and most important, felt truly comfortable in my own skin for the first time in my life. — Brene Brown

Stillness is not about focusing on nothingness; it's about creating a clearing. It's opening up an emotionally clutter-free space and allowing ourselves to feel and think and dream and question. — Brene Brown

Hope is really a thought. — Brene Brown

When you stop caring what people think, you lose your capacity for connection. When you're defined by it, you lose our capacity for vulnerability. — Brene Brown

Our silence about grief serves no one. We can't heal if we can't grieve; we can't forgive if we can't grieve. We run from grief because loss scares us, yet our hearts reach toward grief because the broken parts want to mend. — Brene Brown

I carry a small sheet of paper in my wallet that has written on it the names of people whose opinions of me matter. To be on that list, you have to love me for my strengths and struggles. — Brene Brown