Quotes & Sayings About Bladder

Aurora," Mom sharpened her tone, "I thought you were having dinner. Why are you in the parking lot?"
A new voice on the phone snorted, "Parking, obviously ... Sorry. This pregnancy is frying my motherboard. And speaking of babies - "
Here it comes.
" - that's what parking with your boyfriend leads to, Aurora. Save yourself the agony. My bladder will never be the same.
"I'm not parking with my boyfriend!" I screeched. — A&E Kirk

Emperor Erishi had let his bladder go. The guards dropped their swords. — Ken Liu

for checking the fullness of his bladder. — John Green

Whoa," Becky said, because the baby kicked her hard in the bladder.

Felix startled, backing up and nearly falling over a chair.

"Sorry, I was whoa-ing because right when you came in, the baby kicked, not because you're Felix Callahan. Oh, you know what it reminded me of ? When Elisabeth's baby kicks just as Mary greets her? Isn't that funny? As if I had some spiritual sign when I saw you."

Annette smiled, her eyebrows raised. Felix glared handsomely. Becky stamped down a desire to squirm.

"No, it's not terribly funny," Felix said, "particularly as I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Elisabeth, wife of Zacharias, cousin to Mary, mother of Jesus? No? Nothing?"

Felix looked at her with a careful lack of amusement.

"Oh, maybe you don't have the Bible in England. See, there's this guy named Jesus and his mother is named Mary, and well, it's a really interesting read if you don't mind parables. — Shannon Hale

His bladder burned, but he didn't care. Nothing would tempt him outside, not and risk being taken back to that horrible place. This little hut wasn't much bigger than his cage, but he was free here, and that mattered more than anything. — L.J. McDonald

... Well, some day i'm going to get in with that wild artistic group. It's the only thing that makes this town different."

"The 'wild artistic group,' as you put it, has an average age of fifty-seven, and most of us have heart disease and bladder trouble... — Richard Bradford

Who needs a bladder when you need an alarm clock — T. Haque

I'm going to go pee. If the universe is bigger and stranger than I can imagine, it's best to meet it with an empty bladder. — John Scalzi

I moved up beside Jamie."I have to go."
She frowned at me. "Where?"
I pressed a hand to the bottom of my belly. "My bladder.It-"
Ah." She gave a small laugh. "We interrupt this life-or-death situation for a pregnancy pee break. Don't see that in the movies, do you? — Kelley Armstrong

Paul grasped humor only imperfectly, but supposed he could see the absurdity of it from a human perspective. "Yes, and you are a very charming bipedal bladder of fluid," he said. "Nicest thing anyone's said to me all day! — Jim Cleaveland

Anger is the common refuge of insignificance. People who feel their character to be slight, hope to give it weight by inflation: but the blown bladder at its fullest distention is still empty. — Hannah More

So it is useless to evade reality, because it only makes it more virulent in the end. But instead, look steadfastly into the slit, pin-pointed, malignant eyes of reality: as an old-hand trainer dominates his wild beasts. Take it by the scruff of the neck, and shake the evil intent out of it; till it rattles out harmlessly, like gall bladder stones, fossilized on the floor. — Caitlin Thomas

So much of life is happenstance. It makes me laugh when I go to a bookstore and see all those titles about controlling your life. You're lucky if you can control your bladder. — Rita Mae Brown

I have to pick up my kids. I have to register them for school. I have to pack their lunches and get their Hep B shots and wash their hands. They must be spotted on the stairs and potty trained and broken of the binkie. And if that relentless work runs right alongside gauging the risks of bladder surgery on a seventy-four-year-old, well, what did you think was gonna happen? What did you think being an adult was? — Kelly Corrigan

You outlive your wife, then your colleagues and friends, then your accountant and the building doorman. ou no longer attend the opera, because the human bladder can only endure so much. Social engagements require strategy and hearing aid calibrations. pg 269 — Dominic Smith

My bladder cancer was related to smoking, and I think smoking kills people. — Bob Schieffer

The organs of Venus are familiar to all, but oh, my brothers, the organ of Saturn is the bladder. — David Mitchell

Hope is to a man as a bladder to a learning swimmer
it keeps him from sinking in the bosom of the waves, and by that help he may attain the exercise; but yet it many times makes him venture beyond his height, and then if that breaks, or a storm rises, he drowns without recovery. How many would die, did not hope sustain them! How many have died by hoping too much! This wonder we find in Hope, that she is both a flatterer and a true friend. — Owen Feltham

What voices overheard, flinders of luminescent gods glimpsed among the wallpaper's stained foliage, candlestubs lit to rotate in the air over him, prefiguring the cigarette he or a friend must fall asleep someday smoking, thus to end among the flaming, secret salts held all those years by the insatiable stuffing of a mattress that could keep vestiges of every nightmare sweat, helpless overflowing bladder,viciously,tearfully consummated wet dream, like the memory bank to a computer of the lost? — Thomas Pynchon

The function of suspense is to put the reader in danger of an overfull bladder. — Sol Stein

Nothing burns one up faster than the affects of ressentiment. Anger, pathological vulnerability, impotent lust for revenge, thirst for revenge, poison-mixing in any sense - no reaction could be more disadvantageous for the exhausted: such affects involve a rapid consumption of nervous energy, a pathological increase of harmful excretions - for example, of the gall bladder into the stomach. Ressentiment is what is forbidden par excellence for the sick - it is their specific evil - unfortunately also their most natural inclination. — Friedrich Nietzsche

Emancipor stood in front of the small bush,listening to the birds chirp to greet the morning whilst he emptied his bladder.
"Look wel on that yelow, murky stream, Mister Reese - "
The manservant started at the voice beside him. "Master! You, uh, surprised me."
"Thus reducing you to a trickle. — Steven Erikson

I don't drink in the cinema because I have a bladder the size of a hummingbird. — Joshua Oppenheimer

The thing is, I was so bursting for the loo that I thought my bladder was going to explode. I could hardly speak, let alone make it up your stairs. When you threw the key down and I had to bend over to pick it up, I thought that was it, I was going to flood the road! And I'm not even exaggerating. I've never been so desperate in my life. — Jill Mansell

I have the sick fantasy that whatever I see at the movies is going to happen to me at home. My bladder capacity increased tenfold after I saw "The Shining" because I was sure that if I went into the bathroom late at night, there would be a dead woman in the bathtub. — Bailey White

I hurt my bladder rollerblading. — Taylor Negron

Who needs an alarm clock you you have a bladder — T. Haque

Hennick's iliac artery and vein, as well as the artery and vein of the new kidney, were spliced together with neat embroidery stitches. Then the surgeon took a deep breath, stretched his arms like a stage conjurer, and said to me: "You're about to witness the most wonderful sight in the history of medicine." He removed the arterial and venous clamps in sequence, and Hennick's blood began to pump into the withered kidney. Each beat of his heart, visible in the pumping of the arteries, caused the kidney to swell. It was like watching a process of reanimation: a refutation of death. As the kidney grew, its defeated, dimpled surface began to fill out to a lucent pink. The surgeon held up the ureter of the new kidney (the tube that carries urine to the bladder) and I watched as a bead of urine began to grow at its cut end. — Gavin Francis

I invited him over and he stayed forever. I feed him all my bread, the old peppers turned to mush & fluorescent mold, the chicken thighs unthawed & boneless. He ask for more so I give him my left leg. He ask for more & I give him my lungs & lips. More still, and there goes my bladder. He eats it all, all of me, eats the whole damn house, & I live forever in him or maybe it's the other way around. I swallowed. I swallowed him whole & didn't even notice him thrashing inside me. — Danez Smith

This queer crotchet [of Hamilton's] that algebra is the science of pure time has attracted many philosophers, and quite recently it has been exhumed and solemnly dissected by owlish metaphysicians seeking the philosopher's stone in the gall bladder of mathematics. — Eric Temple Bell

You cannot achieve happiness. Happiness happens and is a transitory stage. Imagine how happy I felt when I got relief from bladder pressure. How long did that happiness last? — Frederick Salomon Perls

I was 52 years old. I had diabetes and incipient arthritis. I had lost my gall bladder and most of my thyroid gland in earlier campaigns, but I was convinced the best was ahead of me. — Ray Kroc

In Devon, England, a rare ritual has been recorded wherein the stag represented the offense or misconduct (often of a sexual nature) of a local person. A mock "hunt" was enacted with characters playing the stag, dog, and hunters. This strange and noisy pageant of implication was run through the village, ending finally at the doorstep of the offender. There the stag was "killed" with all ceremony, even including the bursting of a bladder full of blood. It was thought that after such a communal condemnation, the offender would leave the village never to return — Jacqueline Simpson

You must have a bladder like Lake Erie. I think empires rose and fell in the time it took you to pee. I could hear it the whole time.
Thank you. Do you want something? — Neil Gaiman

After they left the office, Peabody shoved her hands in her pockets. "These nicknames are pissing me off."
"But you're not I'm-Too-Good-to-Pee-Body. Harris is."
"It's my damn name. And now I have to pee. It's like my bladder has to prove something."
"Pee at the bank. Consider it a deposit. — J.D. Robb

Serena had to cross her legs: in moments of dire amusement her bladder tended to play tricks. — A.P.

And what has been so awful in your life that you have to write about it? Mrs Lincoln, a definite gall bladder, persevered. — Larry Kramer

If breakups are like deaths, then ex sightings are like seeing a ghost: you feel goose bumps, near loss of bladder control, and the sensation of your heart bursting in your throat. The distinction is that the ex is alive. — Daria Snadowsky

I've got to go."
"Go where?"
"To go. I'd have just taken care of it myself, but it looks like you want to come along."
Mott cursed. "Wait for morning."
"Wish I could. I've been cursed with my mother's pea-size bladder. — Jennifer A. Nielsen

LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem - a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success. — Ambrose Bierce

For once, mam, my bladder isn't near my eye and why isn't it? — Frank McCourt

"You still taking him for his house-breaking lesson tonight?"
I flicked an eraser at him. He ducked it and threw me a grin.
While I was getting my Changes under control, we'd decided I should try once a week. While Simon was joking about house-breaking, that's kind of what it was like - take me outside regularly, where I'd attempt to perform a bodily function, and hopefully train my body to do it on a schedule. So far, I felt like a month-old puppy, struggling to control my bladder before it was ready to be controlled. — Kelley Armstrong

What the heck are those?" I said without even thinking. "Ethan Wate, you watch your mouth, or I'll have ta wash it out with soap. You know better than ta use pro-fanity," Aunt Grace said. Which, as far as she was concerned, included words like panties, naked, and bladder. — Kami Garcia

We're all proud of you, Donnie. Your mother and me, Katie - " "Right," I snorted. "She said I'm dumber than her bladder-challenged dog. — Gordon Korman

The fuller your bladder, the more intense your orgasm, Ana. — E.L. James

I think this man might actually possess supernatural powers. He makes people lose their minds and I'm sure some of them do lose bladder control as well."
"I see. And who is this author"
"Neil Fucking Gaiman."
"His second name is Fucking?"
"No Leif that's the honorary second name all celebrities are given by their fans. It's not an insult it's a huge compliment and he's earned it. — Kevin Hearne

Insides squirmed at the thought of one of those things being snaked up his penis and into his bladder. — F. Paul Wilson

Yesterday, Attorney General John Ashcroft had surgery to remove his gall bladder. Doctors say the surgery was difficult because Ashcroft refused to take his clothes off. — Conan O'Brien

Some springs are acid, as at Lyncestus and in Italy in the Velian country, at Teano in Campania, and in many other places. These when used in drinks have the power of breaking up stones in the bladder, which form in the human body. — Marcus Vitruvius Pollio

A plague of sighing and grief! It blows a man up like a bladder. — William Shakespeare

Life with most teenagers was like having a low-grade bladder infection. It hurts, but you had to tough it out. — Anne Lamott

Our ancestor was an animal which breathed water, had a swim-bladder, a great swimming tail, an imperfect skull & undoubtedly was an hermaphrodite! Here is a pleasant genealogy for mankind. — Charles Darwin

I stay in bed for as long as possible, but eventually my bladder wins. When I come back from the bathroom, he's looking out my window. He turns around and laughs. "Your hair. It's sticking up in all different directions." St. Clair pronounces it die-rections and illustrates his point by poking his fingers up around his head like antlers.
"You're one to speak."
"Ah,but it looks purposeful on me. Took me ages to realize the best way to get that mussed look was to ignore it completely."
"So you're saying it looks like crap on me?" I glance in the mirror,and I'm alarmed to discover I do resemble a horned beast.
"No.I like it. — Stephanie Perkins

The eyes closed. Cammed each night out of that safe furrow the bulk of this city's waking each sunrise again set virtuously to plowing, what rich soils had he turned, what concentric planets uncovered? What voices overheard, flinders of luminescent gods glimpsed among the wallpaper's stained foliage, candlestubs lit to rotate in the air over him, prefiguring the cigarette he or a friend must fall asleep someday smoking, thus to end among the flaming, secret salts held all those years by the insatiable stuffing of a mattress that could keep vestiges of every nightmare sweat, helpless overflowing bladder, viciously, tearfully consummated wet dream, like the memory bank to a computer of the lost? She was overcome all at once by a need to touch him, as if she could not believe in him, or would not remember him, without it. — Thomas Pynchon

I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me. — Stephen Fry

There are few moments of clarity more profound than those that follow the emptying of an overcharged bladder. The world slows down, the focus sharpens, the brain comes back on line. Huge nebulous difficulties prove on close calm examination to be merely cloud giants. — Tom Holt

The bladder-pipe, a local Highlands speciality, is to music what warthogs are to mathematics. Largely unconnected. — Mark Lawrence

There is nothing like the cure of fresh air for cases of bladder infection, paranoia, and Cartesian thinking. — Rawi Hage

Any one of my many shrinks could tell you that I was looking for my father. Wasn't everyone? The explanation didn't quite content me. Not that it seemed wrong: it just seemed too simple. Perhaps the search was really a kind of ritual in which the process was more important than the end. Perhaps it was a kind of quest. Perhaps there was no man at all, but just a mirage conjured by our longing and emptiness. When you go to sleep hungry you dream of eating. When you go to sleep with a full bladder you dream of getting up to pee. When you go to sleep horny you dream of getting laid. Maybe the impossible man was nothing more than a specter made of our own yearning. Maybe he was like the fearless intruder, the phantom rapist women expect to find under their bed or in their closets. Or maybe he was really death, the last lover. — Erica Jong

But until this night, she had never once actually wet the bed. And now that she has, we just lie there in the accident, and the minutes of the clock keep changing, and the love I have for her keeps growing, and we both keep drawing breath.
What was so horrible about it? Why had I always been so angry? What was my need to always be right? To win every argument with her? To out-stubborn a dog?
And just like that, all the anger is gone. Released like the emptying of a bladder into soft cotton sheets as we lie in the wetness. — Steven Rowley

Death is the heritage of life; a man's vitality is like air in a bladder. Poinct this bubble and away, away, away, flees life, like the color of fading dream. — Jack Vance

After forty years of selling wholesale industrial deodorizing supplies, one establishment is forced to open its doors to the public.
In the lingo of the trade, a salesman explains why their large institution buyers have gone elsewhere.
Who wants to stand downwind of the League o' Nations every time some freshman with a bladder infection pulls a Nebuchadnezzar? — Ben Katchor

I took a wrong turn on the way to the bathroom and found myself in a beautifully proportioned room I had never seen before, containing a really rather magnificent collection of chamberpots. When I went back to investigate more closely, I discovered that the room had vanished. But I must keep an eye out for it. Possibly it is only accessible at five thirty in the morning. Or it may only appear at the quarter moon - or when the seeker has an exceptionally full bladder. — J.K. Rowling

It was hot, there was no shade, and we were once again waiting on "the word". Everyone was bitching about getting water or getting into the shade. The staff sergeant in charge of this detail was afraid to let anyone wander away in case the plane arrived. No one was having any luck in trying to get him to understand that if we die of thirst or a burst bladder, there would be no one to catch the damn airplane anyway. — W.R. Spicer

I like the poem on the page and not at the podium. I like to address the poem in peace and quiet, not on the edge of a folding chair with a full bladder. I can't stand hearing a poem that I can't see. I did a reading at Wayne State, and it ended with the comedy such occasions deserve. I'd seated myself on a piano bench, and discovered upon attempting to arise at the end that the varnish had softened and I was stuck fast. The hinge was to the front, under my knees, so that as I tried to get up, I merely opened the lid. — Ted Kooser

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses. — Joe E. Lewis

No one goes to the toilet in novels. You'd think none of us had bladders. — Germaine Greer

Her bladder felt painfully, solidly full, as though it would burst and release not urine but the garbled prayers she was muttering. — Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

I long for the simplicity of theatre. I want lessons learned, comeuppances delivered, people sorted out, all before your bladder gets distractingly full. That's what I want. What I know is what we all know, whether we'll admit it or not: every attempt to impose the roundness of a well-made play on reality produces a disaster. Life just isn't so, nor will it be made so. — John M. Ford

... for it is often to be observed of the shallower men, that they are the very last to despond. It is the glory of the bladder that nothing can sink it; it is the reproach of a box of treasure, that once overboard it must drown — Herman Melville

I work for a few at home who are devoted. People who are up now. Either they have some sort of bladder problem or they're extremely drunk. This is my crowd, these are the people I hope to get. — Greg Proops

Any situation was better faced with an empty bladder, a clean body, and a lack of morning breath. — Jeaniene Frost

Fulfilled desires, like pleasures (even of the intrinsic kind), are states of achievement rather than default states. For instance, one has to work at satiating oneself, while hunger comes naturally. After one has eaten or taken liquid, bowel and bladder discomfort ensues quite naturally and we have to seek relief. One has to seek out pleasurable sensations, in the absence of which blandness comes naturally. The upshot of this is that we must continually work at keeping suffering (including tedium) at bay, and we can do so only imperfectly. Dissatisfaction does and must pervade life. There are moments, perhaps even periods, of satisfaction, but they occur against a background of dissatisfied striving. Pollyannaism may cause most people to blur out this background, but it remains there. — David Benatar

At this point in my life, beaming confidence is largely a matter of mind over bladder control — Josh Stern

Thinking is a sign of disturbance. When your bladder doesn't hurt you don't think about it. — Marty Rubin

Now, what is the comparative loudness of a man's flicking the corners of a few banknotes in the middle of his room with the same man's pissing furiously from a bursting bladder into a stainless-steel sink in the corner of his room nearest to a pair of huddled, listening females? — Gerald Murnane

She paid using the prettiest credit card, and then left it with the ticket seller as a gift. Along with a minor curse - a bladder infection and diarrhea - just because she was Baba Yaga, and certain things were expected. — Orson Scott Card

She'd never been any kind of camper, never had been good at relieving a full bladder on a whim. Never had quite figured out that squat; it seemed like she'd always wet her right foot. — Robyn Carr

One may decide that the nipple most nearly resembles a newly ripened raspberry (never, be it noted, the plonk of water on a pond at the commencement of a drizzle, a simple bladder nozzle built on the suction principal gum bubble, mole, or birth ward, bumpy metal button, or the painful red eruption of a swelling), but does one care to see his breakfast fruit as a sweetened milky bowl of snipped nips? no. — William H Gass

People declare as much, without, apparently, looking into the matter very closely. They seem able to dispense with the conscientious observer's scruples, when inflating their bladder of theory. — Jean-Henri Fabre

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder. — Alfred Hitchcock

I told you not to drink that much water on the drive," Sarah told her. "You never listen to me."
"Sorry I don't have the bladder of a freaking sloth."
"You mean camel," Sarah corrected.
"I meant sloth," the other girl said. "I read somewhere they only have to go once a week. — Alexandra Bracken

The women kept their smiles, although both their thumping hearts dropped from their throats to land hard back in their rib cages. For Miriam at least, this was less a metaphor, as siren hearts wandered a bit through their bodies depending on their mood. But to be accurate, hers hadn't risen all the way to her throat, stopping as high as her sternum before sliding its way down and resting on her bladder, thus adding a need to urinate to her disappointment. — A. Lee Martinez

A movie should be as long as one can hold their bladder — Alfred Hitchcock

The dense Yin Organs of the Liver, Heart, Spleen, Lung, and Kidney store the essential and potential energy derived from substances; the hollow Yang Organs of the Gallbladder, Small Intestine, Stomach, Large Intestine, and Bladder process the substances of the external environment. — Harriet Beinfield

So how do you feel about it?" "I'm not upset, but my mom was crying and it's the first time I've ever seen her cry. Dad always wanted whiskey poured on his grave, so my brother said, 'I just hope he doesn't mind me filtering it through my bladder first.'" Mystery — Neil Strauss

The purple, formalized, iridescent, gelatinous bladder of a Portuguese man-of-war was floating close beside the boat. It turned on its side and then righted itself. It floated cheerfully as a bubble with its long deadly purple filaments trailing a yard behind in the water. — Ernest Hemingway,

How lucky country children are in these natural delights that lie ready to their hand! Every season and every plant offers changing joys. As they meander along the lane that leads to our school all kinds of natural toys present themselves for their diversion. The seedpods of stitchwort hang ready for delightful popping between thumb and finger, and later the bladder campion offers a larger, if less crisp, globe to burst. In the autumn, acorns, beechnuts, and conkers bedizen their path, with all their manifold possibilities of fun. In the summer, there is an assortment of honeys to be sucked from bindweed flowers, held fragile and fragrant to hungry lips, and the tiny funnels of honeysuckle and clover blossoms to taste. — Miss Read

I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, "We found something in your bladder AND IT'S SEASON TICKETS TO THE YANKEES!!" — Mike Birbiglia

The past twelve weeks had been a blur, and now she was about to meet her baby via ultrasound, go home with a picture of an alien baby that people would pretend was beautiful, and here she sat after drinking a liter of fluid, her panties moist from a bladder that gave up control right around the time her shoes stopped fitting. A light breeze could make her pee at this point. A sneeze would unleash a tsunami. — Julia Kent

Don't worry girls ... I have the bladder of a camel ... — Joanne McClean

I've belched a lot more since I had gall bladder surgery. I don't know why. — Beth Ditto

It won't be long,' said Philippa cheerfully, her mother's ring in her voice. 'You know what Bess says. There's nothing in this world a drop of aqua-vitae in a sheep's bladder won't cure. Stop the Somervilles with a knife! It needs artillery.' And she blew her nose hard. — Dorothy Dunnett

For most of the day and night, time oppresses me. It is only when I am at work on the innards of a clock-or a lock-that time stops."
"The clock stops, you mean."
"No. Time stops, or so it seems. I do not sense its passage. Then something interrupts me-I become aware that my bladder is full, my mouth dry, my stomach rumbling, the fire's gone out, and the sun's gone down. But there before me on the table is a finished clock-" now suddenly a snicker from the mechanism, and a deft movement of his hands. "Or an opened lock. — Neal Stephenson

I did learn that there's no point in eating too much Vitamin C because it comes out of your bladder. — Kunal Nayyar

Soon the phone began to ring, a rarity, one call after another. First came the tidings of one of my mother's old friends. Her daughter has had a baby. She feared it has an oddly shaped head. Next, someone from the bridge club: She has a bladder infection. So prevalent are references to bladders in my mother's circle that I have come to think of them fondly, like a quirky, hard-to-control family who might soon be arriving for dinner. Next — George Hodgman

One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is that assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind. — Jean Kerr

How are you feeling, Willow?" Ember asked. "Like I swallowed a baby elephant," she said deadpan. "I don't know how I'm going to get through the next two months." Shannon snorted and Willow gave her a look with a raised eyebrow. "Just you wait, little girl. You're going to have two baby elephants dancing on your bladder soon." Shannon groaned. "You're cursing me," she moaned. She'd — J.M. Madden

For me, there's nothing better than when I become the funnel, and have that out of body experience where I'm not the one writing anymore. At that point, it's all about bladder control. Sitting back and watching scenes, characters, and dialogue appear out of nowhere, and fear of breaking the spell makes you hold in your pee for six or eight hours is the best thing about being a writer. — Rafael Amadeus Hines

I think all the beer I drank in college created an iron bladder. — Steve Wiebe