Quotes & Sayings About Birth Certificate

Right here, in this same headquarters, 52 years ago, the Convention that gave the birth certificate to the war on drugs was approved — Juan Manuel Santos

A great deal of capital, which appears to-day in the United States without any certificate of birth, was yesterday, in England, the capitalised blood of children. — Karl Marx

In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You being there was certificate enough. — Will Rogers

She dropped the matter, and his birthday remained May 28. Armed with the Social Security card, the birth certificate, and the letter from Principal Simpson of the Briarcrest Christian School, they drove the next day to the Department of Motor Vehicles. This time they had Collins in tow. Collins — Michael Lewis

If someone accuses me of not being born here, I can go -within 10 minutes - to my filing cabinet and I can pick up my real birth certificate and I can go, 'See? Look! Here it is. Here it is.' — Luke Scott

And let's all be honest here; more of us believe in the American hero Sheriff Joe Arpaio's thorough investigation into your phony birth certificate and phony history than the phony media's smoke and mirrors. — Ted Nugent

Today, possible presidential candidate Donald Trump released his birth certificate. It lists his eyes as blue and his hair as ridiculous. — Conan O'Brien

I'm tired of hearing about innocent victims. It's fiction, If you live on this planet you're guilty, period, f*** you, next case, end of report. Your birth certificate is proof of guilt. — George Carlin

The discussion about how she was in Arizona stalking her birth mother, whose name she'd gotten on the duplicate birth certificate she'd ordered because she'd lost her original, should really happen in person, but that was impossible right now.
Oh, what a tangled web ... — Cat Johnson

Growing older is a blurred birth certificate that only can take us to this world's perplexed journey, but it cannot smear the letters of the epitaph — Munia Khan

I was an ugly baby. On my birth certificate there was a listing for Probable Cause. — Ronnie Shakes

The three most important documents a free society gives are a birth certificate, a passport, and a library card. — E.L. Doctorow

Family is not just about who you appear to belong to, or what it says on your birth certificate, or who you look like, or even what they'd find if they studied your DNA. Family is found anywhere you are loved and cared for. That might mean friends or foster parents, a group or even a charity. What matters far more - so much more than chemistry or ancestry - is that precious bond, that reassurance that they won't let you down. — Marina Chapman

Even Obama's staunchest supporters are starting to leave him. Last week Michelle Obama demanded to see a copy of his birth certificate. — Ann Coulter

I want to just take a moment to thank the Teabaggers. Thank you so much for helping us pass health care, for resurrecting the Obama presidency. I know they're saying, 'Why are you thanking me? I was so against it, I marched on Washington with tea bags hanging off my Founding Fathers costume, with a gun on my hip and a picture of Obama dressed as Hitler, screaming about his birth certificate.' And America saw that and said, 'I think I'll go with the calm black man.' — Bill Maher

Donald Trump said he still wants to look more closely at Obama's birth certificate to make sure that it's real. Incidentally, President Obama said the same exact thing about Donald Trump's hair. — Jimmy Fallon

The umlaut isn't on my birth certificate. I had this book as a child called Chloe and Maude, and there was an umlaut on the e, and I said, I want that! It's a little flair. Just to confuse people even more. — Chloe Sevigny

I take a step in Brooklyn's direction. Just thinking her name makes me cringe. Her parents had named her after a city known for housing the Russian mafia and call girls. Not to mention dirty. Dirty, little Brooklyn. It's a nice place to visit, but no one wants to live there. I bet you it says that under her name on her birth certificate. — Tara Sivec

In a Cafe
I watched a man in a cafe fold a slice of bread as if he were folding a birth certificate or looking at the photograph of a dead lover. — Richard Brautigan

No matter what his birth certificate said or didn't say, he was Billy Dent's son. — Barry Lyga

I have people that have been studying [Obama's birth certificate] and they cannot believe what they're finding ... I would like to have him show his birth certificate, and can I be honest with you, I hope he can. Because if he can't, if he can't, if he wasn't born in this country, which is a real possibility ... then he has pulled one of the great cons in the history of politics. — Donald Trump

In the widest sense of the word, to name is to interpret experience by the past, to translate it into terms of memory, to bind the unknown into the system of the known. Civilized man knows of hardly any other way of understanding things. Everybody, everything, has to have its label, its number, certificate, registration, classification. What is not classified is irregular, unpredictable, and dangerous. Without passport, birth certificate, or membership in some nation, one's existence is not recognized. — Alan W. Watts

President Obama and his wife are going to Kenya. Donald Trump said, 'While you're there, pick up your birth certificate.' — David Letterman

Annie turned away, her eyes glittering. 'Here's what no one tells you,' she said. 'When you deliver a fetus, you get a death certificate, but not a birth certificate. And afterward, your milk comes in, and there's nothing you can do to stop it.' She looked up at me. 'You can't win. Either you have the baby and wear your pain on the outside, or you don't have the baby, and you keep that ache in you forever. I know I didn't do the wrong thing. But I don't feel like I did the right thing, either. — Jodi Picoult

The twin shocks of 9/11 and the Great Recession seem mentally to have unhinged a portion of the American people and much of the political class. The following years were consumed by crazy arguments about the president's birth certificate, death panels, and voters shouting that the government must get its hands off their government-provided Medicare. — Mike Lofgren

When I was born my father spent three weeks trying to find a loophole in my birth certificate. — Jackie Vernon

The birth certificate of the royal baby lists her parents' occupations as being 'the prince and princess of the United Kingdom.' It says that under occupation, which I guess sounds better than 'unemployed.' — Conan O'Brien

I read a story years ago that claimed to be about the most insignificant person ever born. His mother wrote his name on the birth certificate as Nosmo King. Somebody asked the mother where she got a name like that. It turned out the mother was illiterate, so she just copied down the No Smoking sign in the room and wrote it "Nosmo King." There is the ultimate nothing person, named after a No Smoking sign. If you speak the hard gospel of Jesus Christ, you may be pegged as one of the Nosmo Kings of the world: a loser, a nobody. Verse 28 of 1 Corinthians 1 says God has chosen things that are "despised," exoutheneo, considered nothing. Christians are about as low as you can go. We are "the things which are not," literally "the nonexistent ones." It's human nature to want to be somebody. So the Lord decided to do it a different way, choosing as His messengers the impotent, nonintellectual nobodies whom the world considers nothing by its standards. — John F. MacArthur Jr.

What it meant." "That's fine." Bosch moved to the drawer and looked in. There were two thin manila files and two packs of envelopes with rubber bands holding them together. The first file he looked through contained Eno's birth certificate, passport, marriage license and other personal records. He put it back in the drawer. The next file contained LAPD forms and Bosch quickly recognized them as the pages and reports that had been removed from the Marjorie Lowe murder book. He knew he had no time to read them at the moment and put the file in the beer box with the other files. The rubber band on the first package of envelopes snapped when he tried to remove it and he was reminded of the band that had been around the blue binder that contained the case files. Everything about this case was old and ready to snap, he thought. The envelopes were all from a Wells Fargo Bank branch in Sherman Oaks and each one contained a statement for a savings account in the name of McCage — Michael Connelly

One did not walk around the town with one's birth certificate stuck on one's back; why then should clothes have their labels on the outside? It was a very vulgar display, she felt, — Alexander McCall Smith

No fossil is buried with its birth certificate. That, and the scarcity of fossils, means that it is effectively impossible to link fossils into chains of cause and effect in any valid way ... To take a line of fossils and claim that they represent a lineage is not a scientific hypothesis that can be tested, but an assertion that carries the same validity as a bedtime story - amusing, perhaps even instructive, but not scientific. — Henry Gee

My mother desperately wanted children. She had a child that was stillborn - something I learned when I was looking through her 'effects' after she had died. It was then that I discovered my original birth certificate, which indicated the previous birth. — Stanley Hauerwas

Nowhere on your birth certificate did it say life would be fair — Trevor Jones

I went to regular schools and I was home schooled a lot but I don't have any history in schools. Like, I literally don't exist. I didn't even get a birth certificate until the mid-80s. I always feel like I could be, like, 10 years younger, or maybe I'm 70! — Rose McGowan

The Hollywood comedienne Gracie Allen was so secretive about her age that even her husband, the fellow performer George Burns, didn't know her real date of birth. Various sources claim that Allen was born on July 26 in 1894, 1895, 1897, 1902, or 1906. Throughout her life, Allen claimed that her birth certificate was destroyed in the 1906 San Francisco earthquake, even though the earthquake occurred a few months before her alleged birthday. When asked about the discrepancy, Allen allegedly remarked, 'Well, it was an awfully big earthquake. — Richard Wiseman

On Fox News, Donald Trump said Obama's birth certificate could indicate that he's a Muslim. Trump said he doesn't trust anyone with a foreign-sounding name, and neither does his daughter Ivanka. — Conan O'Brien

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. — Donald Trump

I don't care where [Ted] Cruz comes from. I don't care where the President comes from. Day one, I opened an investigation on a fraudulent government Hawaii document, period, on a birth certificate, so if you can say Cruz has fake documents, okay. — Joe Arpaio

Now, I know that he's taken some flak lately but no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than The Donald. And that's because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter, like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac? — Barack Obama

Also she signed away the right to self-destruct years ago. The fine print on the birth certificate, her friends call it. — Jenny Offill

I don't know how old I am because a goat ate the Bible that had my birth certificate in it. The goat lived to be twenty-seven. — Satchel Paige

I mean, if someone asked for my birth certificate, I'd get my baby book and hand it out and say 'Here it is.' — Vicky Hartzler

Check your spiritual birth certificate, you were made in the mighty image of God. — Joel Osteen

I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma. — Bill Maher

I was fortunate enough to be an American citizen by birth and I have the birth certificate to prove it. — Raul Labrador

This is all my identification, my birth certificate, my everything. You can be Shannon McFarland from now on. My career. The ninety-degree attention. It's yours. All of it. Everything. I hope it's enough for you. It's everything I have left. — Chuck Palahniuk

I'm not saying my mother didn't like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate. — Les Dawson

There was some indecision as to when I was born. My sister said it was 1916. I'd lost my birth certificate. — Michael Gough

I'm supposed to talk some sense into you," she told me. "But what I really want to say is congratulations. You did the right thing." "The police don't think so." "Typical," she clucked. "Getting hung up on the numbers on your birth certificate when you probably saved a life." "They made — Gordon Korman

A change in paperwork [birth certificate] can't erase words stamped on the human heart. — Charles Martin

For a southern belle, my grandmother was remarkably modern. She threw my grandfather out, for one thing - some kind of argument about bourbon whiskey - shortly after the birth of their third child, and then went back to school to get herself a teaching certificate. — Preston Sturges

I believe that every single human being is entitled to the protection of our laws, whether they can vote or not. Whether they can speak or not. Whether they can hire a lawyer or not. Whether they have a birth certificate or not. And I think future generations will look back at this history of our country and call us barbarians for murdering millions of babies who we never gave them a chance to live. — Marco Rubio

My stepmother sold my birth certificate and someone asked why I didn't buy it back. I don't know, really. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It was mine. It cost me nothing and suddenly I had to buy it back. — Paul McCartney

Merely presenting a driver's license or other document based on a birth certificate is not enough for an accurate verification. Biometric verification of identity must be made and then a data base of those persons who have legal status must be checked. — Bob Dole

Only with our government are you given a certificate at birth, a license at marriage, and a bill at death. — Jennifer Dunn

President Obama went to India, South Korea, then Japan. He's going to keep travelling until he finds his birth certificate. — David Letterman

So I figured I'd leave the area, because I had no ties there anyway except for this girl I was seeing. We had conflicting attitudes: I really wasn't into meditating and she wasn't really into being alive. I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate has an expiration date. — Steven Wright

if he knew how upset I was for opening my big fat mouth. "I'm sorry about what happened in there. I shouldn't have told Mama about Joseph Theodore Page being on Ted's birth certificate, but she — Maggie Toussaint

Trump is running for president and he's wasting no time getting down to business. In fact, just after his announcement he demanded to see Jeb Bush's birth certificate. — Jimmy Fallon

Gender data is important. If girls don't have a birth certificate, how do we know how many are marrying as children? — Kathy Calvin

Donald Trump showed his birth certificate to reporters. Who cares about his birth certificate? I want to know if that thing on his head has had its vaccinations. — Craig Ferguson

Donald Trump said that if President Obama releases his birth certificate, Trump will release his tax return. Obama said he won't run for a second term if Trump releases that thing on his head. — Conan O'Brien

My father is Emmit and my grandfather is Emmit, but I wanted something extra so I could separate my Emmitt from the rest of them. Even though on my birth certificate it has one T, I just added the extra T for me. — Emmitt Smith

John McCain turned 72 years old last Friday, but the Chinese are making him a birth certificate that says he's only 33 and then he'll be ready to go. — David Letterman

According to my file, I was abandoned on the steps of the children's home in Telbury with a birth certificate tucked inside the shawl. The certificate stated my name, date of birth, and place of birth - which was Aldabury Maternity Hospital - and my birth mother's name and address. All I have is my first name and date and place of birth. Everything else regarding my birth mother on the certificate seems to be false. — Lorna Peel

I have to say, after hanging out with Republicans for four days, I want to take a look at my own birth certificate. I don't think I was born in this country. — Andy Kindler

Rick Perry is now saying he thinks that Barack Obama's birth certificate is fake. I think Perry may have faked his driver's license. — David Letterman

Donald Trump brought up the issue of the birth certificate and it's getting huge buzz around the country. Even Chris Matthews has called for, you know, the birth certificate to be released. Why can't they just release the birth certificate, you know, and just move on? — Sean Hannity

Obama is the closest thing to a Latino that we have. Barack. Everybody wants to see his birth certificate too. — George Lopez

I found a copy of Leven's birth certificate and was surprised to see his birth name listed as E. Leven Thumps. I assume the E. stands for Elton, and I have no idea why they didnt spell it out, but it's intresting to think that it took exactly eleven whacks or thumps to down the oldest tree. — Obert Skye

Good Morning, Sunshine! Josh F**king Bennett. By now, I'm pretty sure that if I were to find his birth certificate that is exactly what it would say. — Katja Millay

There are few things in life harder to find and more important to keep than love. Well, love and a birth certificate. — Barack Obama

Now I have something. In fact, I have posted on the Internet more than Obama has. My birth certificate actually has signatures. — Orly Taitz

No birth certificate is issued when friendship is born. There is nothing tangible. There is just a feeling that your life is different and that your capacity to love and care has miraculously been enlarged without any effort on your part. It's like having a tiny apartment and somebody moves in with you. But instead of becoming cramped and crowded, the space expands, and you discover rooms you never knew you had until your friend moved in with you ... — Steve Tesich

Have you seen these Republican presidential candidates? I bet Obama is sorry now that he spent all that money on the new birth certificate. — David Letterman

I am always looking for ways our government can help make everyday life easier for Ontarians, and these new polymer birth certificates do just that. Having a safe and durable birth certificate will provide more security and help protect people from fraud and identify theft. — Kathleen Wynne

President Obama announced his re-election campaign, though it's not really a surprise. He did all the things that make it official: He filed the paperwork, redesigned his website, and printed another fake birth certificate. — Craig Ferguson

Laws forbidding adoptees from accessing their original birth certificates are outdated and need to be changed today. — DaShanne Stokes

Donald Trump says that he will not run for president. You know why? He can't find his birth certificate. — Jay Leno

Vickie Lynn Hogan is my birth certificate's name. — Anna Nicole Smith

The only name on my birth certificate was Henley, no first name. — Rickey Henderson

What does it feel like to be latent?
I don't know. What does it feel like to be so old that your birth certificate is in Roman numerals? — Suzanne Wrightt

If a fish is born in your aquarium and you call him John, write out a birth certificate, tell him about his family history, and in two minutes he gets eaten by another fish - that's tragic. But it's only tragic because you projected a separate self where there was none. You got hold of a fraction of dynamic process, a molecular dance, and a separate entity out of it. — Eckhart Tolle

What do Obama and God have in common? Neither has a birth certificate. How do they differ? God does not think he's Obama. — Rush Limbaugh

You have all these people in the city and everything has become centralized. If you live outside the city and you need a birth certificate or some official paper from the government, you have to travel to the city. — Edwidge Danticat

We do not possess an official certificate of birth for worship of one God. But the family line is clear: the Jews invented it to endure the coherence, cohesion and existence of their small, threatened people. — Michel Onfray

Then Jesus introduced Himself to me. Though my birth certificate reads 1983, I reckon I was born in 1999, when I met Jesus - not in a church or on a camp or through people, but alone in my bedroom with an open Bible and a tangible revelation that the Son of God was not only real, but alive and awesome and stronger than the chains that bound me. — Brooke Fraser

My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents that the adults had to pay. — Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

It occurred to me that I would like to be a poet. The chief qualification, I understand is that you must be born. Well, I hunted up my birth certificate, and found that I was all right on that score. — Hector Hugh Munro

No one's ever asked to see my birth certificate. They know that this is the place that we were born and raised. — Mitt Romney

I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it. — Steven Wright

You don't need to see my birth certificate, or my college records, or my legal writings, or ... anything. — Barack Obama

[Lennie meets Joe - he works out that she was named after John Lennon]
I nod. "Mom was a hippie." This is northern Northern California after all - the final frontier of freakerdom. Just in the eleventh grade we have a girl named Electricity, a guy named Magic Bus, and countless flowers: Tulip, Begonia, and Poppy - all parent-given-on-the-birth-certificate names. Tulip is a two-ton bruiser of a guy who would be the star of out football team if we were the kind of school that has optional morning meditation in the gym — Jandy Nelson

I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate. — Bob Monkhouse