Billings Quotes & Sayings

It ain't because lovers are so sensitive that they quarrel so often; it is because there is so much fun n the making up. — Josh Billings

If animals had reason, they would act just as ridiculous as we menfolks do. — Josh Billings

The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves but who think others are. — Josh Billings

Zoroaster said, when in doubt abstain; but this does not always apply. At cards, when in doubt take the trick. — Josh Billings

Contentment is a kind of moral laziness; if there wasn't anything but contentment in his world, man wouldn't be any more of a success than an angleworm is — Josh Billings

It iz comparitively eazy tew repent ov the sins that we hav committed, but tew repent ov thoze which we intend to commit, is asking tew mutch ov enny man, now days. — Josh Billings

As in a game of cards, so in the game of life, we must play what is dealt to us, and the glory consists, not so much in winning as in playing a poor hand well. — Josh Billings

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide. — Josh Billings

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit. — Josh Billings

A man cannot learn to be wise any more than he can learn to be handsome. — Josh Billings

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm. — Josh Billings

I do not know of a better cure for sorrow than to pity somebody else. — Josh Billings

If you believe you can do something, then you can acquire the ability to do it even if you didn't have it in the beginning. — Josh Billings

A learned fool is one who has read everything and simply remembered it. — Josh Billings

I shall begin a search for such a device, and if I have to go to the ends of the earth to find a trumpet for our young son, I shall find it at last and bring it home to Louis."
"Well, if I may make a suggestion," said his wife, "don't go to the ends of the earth, go to Billings, Montana. It's nearer. — E.B. White

True valor is like honesty; it enters into all that a man sees and does. — Josh Billings

In the first place, you must pay great attention to the key note. — William Billings

Good nonsense is good sense in disguise. — Josh Billings

Fun is a sugar-coated physic. — Josh Billings

Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected. — Josh Billings

Rumor is like bees; the more you fight them the more you don't get rid of them. — Josh Billings

Cpl. Steffie Billings, the exhibit custodian for the command group that had been set up to investigate this murder. She'd — Toni Anderson

Adam invented love at first sight, one of the greatest labor-saving machines the world ever saw. — Josh Billings

About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it. — Josh Billings

Most everyone seems willing to be a fool himself, but he can't bear to have anyone else one. — Josh Billings

Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves. — Josh Billings

Caution, though very often wasted is a good risk to take. — Josh Billings

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors. — Josh Billings

A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that's lost-he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over. — Josh Billings

[Science is] the literature of truth. — Josh Billings

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. — Josh Billings

Dangers are sum like a kold bath, very dangerous while you stand stripped on the bank, but often not only harmless, but invigorating, if you pitch into them. — Josh Billings

Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool. — Josh Billings

A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates. — Josh Billings

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. — Josh Billings

As the flint contains the spark, unknown to itself, which the steel alone can awaken to life, so adversity often reveals to us hidden gems, which prosperity or negligence would forever have hidden. — Josh Billings

Ill-nature is a sort of running sore of the disposition. — Josh Billings

No one can disgrace us but ourselves. — Josh Billings

Be like a postage stamp - stick to one thing until you get there. — Josh Billings

When Jesus wept, the falling tear
in mercy flowed beyond all bound;
when Jesus groaned, a trembling fear
seized all the guilty world around. — William Billings

Ignorance is the wet-nurse of prejudice. — Josh Billings

Fortune is like a coquette; if you don't run after her, she will run after you. — Josh Billings

The morning paper is just as necessary for an American as dew is to the grass. — Josh Billings

If mankind were only just what they pretend to be, the problem of the millennium would be immediately solved. — Josh Billings

Remember the poor, it costs nothing. — Josh Billings

I have always been fond of Josh Billings's remark that "it is much easier to be a harmless dove than a wise serpent." There are plenty of decent legislators, and plenty of able legislators; but the blamelessness and the fighting edge are not always combined. Both qualities are necessary for the man who is to wage active battle against the powers that prey. — Theodore Roosevelt

It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient. — Josh Billings

Peace is the soft and holy shadow that virtue casts. — Josh Billings

Pedigrees seldom improve by age; the grandson is too often a weak infringement on the grandsire's parent. — Josh Billings

Most men had rather say a smart thing than do a good one. John P. Kotter, Leading Change. — Josh Billings

Vanity is a strange passion; rather than be out of a job it will brag of its vices. — Josh Billings

Josh Billings wrote, "It's not what a man knows that hurts him; it's what he knows that isn't true. — Brian Tracy

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing. — Josh Billings

When good-natured people leave us we look forward with extra pleasure to their return. — Josh Billings

Morally considered, laughter is next to the Ten Commandments. — Josh Billings

It is inactivity which makes the growler's paradise. — John Davis Billings

Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today. — Josh Billings

A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug. — Josh Billings

If a man is right, he can't be too radical; if he is wrong, he can't be too conservative. — Josh Billings

Never run into debt, not if you can find anything else to run into. — Josh Billings

I sent Hal and Rafael to keep an eye on you, and I went to check on a commercial account in Whitehorse. Rafael called to tell me Lula went in with a rocket launcher, so I skipped Whitehorse. I pulled into the lot seconds before you destroyed Billings Foods. — Janet Evanovich

Where religion is a trade, morality is a merchandise. — Josh Billings

Constant togetherness is fine - but only for Siamese twins. — Victoria Billings

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel. — Josh Billings

Jealousy is one of love's parasites. — Josh Billings

There's one good thing about tight shoes; they make you forget your other troubles. — Josh Billings

Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair. — Josh Billings

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done. — Josh Billings

He whom prosperity humbles, and adversity strengthens, is the true hero. — Josh Billings

Some folks are wise and some otherwise. — Josh Billings

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying. — Josh Billings

There is a sort of charm in ugliness, if the person has some redeeming qualities and is only ugly enough. — Josh Billings

Ignorance ain't not knowin' stuff; ignorance is knowin' stuff that AIN'T TRUE. — Josh Billings

There never yet was a mother who taught her child to be an infidel. — Josh Billings

The man who gets bit twice by the same dog is better adapted for that kind of business than any other. — Josh Billings

Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you're in danger of bumping your head against the truth, and as soon as the fog blows off, you are gone anyhow. — Josh Billings

Friendship is like earthenware, once broken, it can be mended; love is like a mirror, once broken that ends it. — Josh Billings

The happiest time in a man's life is when he is in the red hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it. — Josh Billings

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design. — Josh Billings

Titles are valuable; they make us acquainted with many persons who otherwise would be lost among the rubbish. — Josh Billings

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit. — Josh Billings

Silence never makes any blunders. — Josh Billings

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. — Josh Billings

When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry - for the clothes. — Josh Billings

Prejudice is a house-plant which is very apt to wilt if you take it out-of-doors among folks. — Josh Billings

It is much the best way ... to lay the emphasis on the first part of the bar in triple time, and on the first and third parts of the bar in common time. — William Billings

Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does. — Josh Billings

Every man should know something of law; if he knows enough to keep out of it, he is a pretty good lawyer. — Josh Billings

The best creed we can have is charity toward the creeds of others. — Josh Billings

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it. — Josh Billings

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take. — Josh Billings

The books are balanced in heaven, not here. — Josh Billings

People travel to learn; most of them before they start should learn to travel. — Josh Billings

Billings pulled a roll from a compartment in his cargo pants leg. We gawked at him in disbelief. He shrugged. What? You never know when you're going to need duct tape. — Shelly Crane

Truth is the edict of God. — Josh Billings

The nearest we can come to) perfect happiness is to cheat ourselves with the belief that we have got it. — Josh Billings

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do. — Josh Billings

I never question a success, any more than I do the right of a bulldog to lie in his own gateway. — Josh Billings

It's not so hard to get rich as it is to know when you have gotten rich. — Josh Billings

Show me a thoroughly contented person, and I will show you a useless one. — Josh Billings