Bigalow Quotes & Sayings

After they had been reunited with their baby sister and learned the secret of Verbal Fridge Dialogue. And — Lemony Snicket

And what is liberty, whose very name makes the heart beat faster and shakes the world? Is it not the union of all liberties - liberty of conscience, of education, of association, of the press, of travel, or labor, or trade? — Frederic Bastiat

I'd love to do some comedy. Particularly French comedy, which I know sounds like a contradiction in terms. — Kristin Scott Thomas

I made the mistake of looking down when I got ready to wash his legs. The water in the lagoon was clear enough to see that he had a hard-on sticking up in this shorts. "TJ!"
"Sorry." He looked at me sheepishly. "I cant hide this one."
Wait, how many have there been?
I suddenly didn't know where to look. It wasn't his fault though; I had forgotten what would happen if you rubbed a seventeen-year-old all over with your hands.
Or any man, actually. — Tracey Garvis-Graves

Constant, having just heard from Rumfoord that he was to be mated to Rumfoord's wife on Mars, looked away from Rumfoord to the museum of remains along one wall. — Kurt Vonnegut

Ocean is my potion, I need vitamin sea ... — Mishka

There's no such thing as a superhero, but together we can world in a new direction. — Biz Stone

It was reported today that U.S. military bases will not show 'Brokeback Mountain.' However, during interrogations, U.S. troops will continue to show 'Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo.' — Conan O'Brien

To claim "humanitarian motives" when the motive is envy and its supposed appeasement, is a favorite rhetorical device of politicians today, and has been for at least a hundred and fifty years. — Helmut Schoeck

There's a part of me that wants to be known and make a comfortable living but still be able to go grocery shopping. My overall idea of success is having people I want to work with want to work with me. — Lusia Strus

Men in high levels of government seldom surf. — Rita Rudner

Earnestness is good; it means business. But fanaticism overdoes, and is consequently reactionary. — Charles Spurgeon

Imagine trying to live in a world dominated by dihydrogen oxide, a compound that has no taste or smell and is so variable in its properties that it is generally benign but at other times swiftly lethal. Depending on its state, it can scald you or freeze you. In the presence of certain organic molecules it can form carbonic acids so nasty that they can strip the leaves from trees and eat the faces off statuary. In bulk, when agitated, it can strike with a fury that no human edifice could withstand. Even for those who have learned to live with it, it is an often murderous substance. We call it water. — Bill Bryson

Almost every job I have ever gotten was due to someone knowing my work or seeing me in something else. I was in UCB and Andy Richter suggested I do stuff for Conan. Being on Conan helped me land a part in Deuce Bigalow. My UCB television show and friends helped me get an audition for SNL; my SNL connections resulted in Parks and Recreation. See, years and years of hard work and little bits of progress isn't nearly as entertaining as imagining me telling a joke in a Boston food court when suddenly Lorne Michaels walks up and says, I must have you for a little show I do. — Amy Poehler

Self-denial is not a virtue; it is only the effect of prudence on rascality. — George Bernard Shaw