Best Witticisms Quotes & Sayings

If you could literally 'rid' yourself of your problems by voicing them, I'd be all for it. But since that isn't so, why not reserve the spoken word for functional interactions and witticisms, if not declarations of love? — Amity Gaige

The supper was like most Parisian suppers: silence at first, then a burst of unintelligible chatter, then witticisms that were mostly vapid, false rumors, bad reasonings, a little politics and a great deal of slander; they even spoke about new books. — Voltaire

A hundred brilliant witticisms died suffocating on the captain's heavy glove. Thus muted, I pumped my codpiece at the duke and tried to force a fart, but my bum tumpet could find no note. — Christopher Moore

Avoid witticisms at the expense of others. — Horace Mann

And another regrettable thing about death is the ceasing of your own brand of magic, which took a whole life to develop and market - the quips, the witticisms, the slant adjusted to a few, those loved ones nearest the lip of the stage . . . - JOHN UPDIKE, "Perfection Wasted — Carole Radziwill

So why did you get shot? One of your witticisms go awry? (Nekoda) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Witticisms are fire-arms, that make a noise and give pain ... — Eugenie De Guerin

I have just now come from a party where I was its life and soul; witticisms streamed from my lips, everyone laughed and admired me, but I went away - yes, the dash should be as long as the radius of the earth's orbit - - - - - - - - - - - and wanted to shoot myself. — Soren Kierkegaard

You know, I might miss some of your witticisms when you're gone, but one thing I won't miss? Your overwhelming sense of melodrama and despair. It's too much even for me. — Richelle Mead

Between the action sequences, the pleasure lies in observing impeccably dressed Brits exchanging barbed witticisms - making it, basically, Downton Abbey with cyber crime and shower sex. — Karina Longworth

To the many, witticisms not only require to be explained, like riddles, but are also like new shoes, which people require to wear many times before they get accustomed to them. — Letitia Elizabeth Landon

My breath caught in my chest. Misunderstood artsy types weren't supposed to smile like that. They were supposed to glance at others condescendingly and ooze sarcastic witticisms. I felt like this guy was going to wiggle his eyebrows and ask me to wrassle — Katherine Pine

Witticisms please as long as we keep them within boundaries, but pushed to excess they cause offense. — Phaedrus

The feeling was not of being attractive precisely, but rather of not having to entertain. It was breathtaking: to be ensconced in another person's company, yet to be relieved of the relentless minute-by-minute obligation to redeem one's existence - for there is some sense in which socially we are all on the Late Show, grinning, throwing off nervous witticisms, and crossing our legs, as a big hook behind the curtains lurks in the wings. Hands — Lionel Shriver

The time for witticisms is over and the time for wits beginning. If — Robert McCammon

Then I suddenly had the most tremendous feeling of the pitifulness of human beings, whatever they were, their faces, pained mouths, personalities, attempts to be gay, little petulances, feelings of loss, their dull and empty witticisms so soon forgotten: Ah, for what? I knew that the sound of silence was everywhere and therefore everything everywhere was silence. Suppose we suddenly wake up and see that what we thought to be this and that, ain't this and that at all? I staggered up the hill, greeted by birds, and looked at all the huddled sleeping figures on the floor. Who were all these strange ghosts rooted to the silly little adventure of earth with me? And who was I? — Jack Kerouac

Horrible sense of humor?" Hunter's eyes twinkled as he engaged in our banter. "Compared to your one-word witticisms, I'm a fountain of entertainment. — Katherine McIntyre

But this small episode is as good an illustration as any of the hazards of uttering witticisms. By the very nature of a witticism, one is given very little time to assess its various possible repercussions before one is called to give voice to it, and one gravely risks uttering all manner of unsuitable things if one has not first acquired the necessary skill and experience. — Kazuo Ishiguro

So I don't think I'll make Poet Laureate,
but I swear I'm not twisted and bitter,
If finely-wrought talents
don't weigh in the balance,
I can always write haiku on Twitter. — Rosy Cole

All of them would understand, as he did now, that he had crossed a line in himself, he had left their world behind, the decent world of tea parties and suburban witticisms. — Damon Galgut

Genuine witticisms surprise those who say them as much as those who listen to them; they arise in us in spite of us, or, at least, without our participation,
like everything inspired. — Joseph Joubert

Did all Finns like to make clever witticisms about life? Or was it just this one driver? Tsukuru hoped it was the latter. — Haruki Murakami

Deep down, he's shallow. — Peter De Vries

When you asked me to speak about women and fiction I sat down on the banks of a river and began to wonder what the words meant. They might mean simply a few remarks about Fanny Burney; a few more about Jane Austen; a tribute to the Brontes and a sketch of Haworth Parsonage under snow, some witticisms if possible about Miss Mitford; a respectful allusion to George Eliot; a reference to Mrs Gaskell and one would have done. — Virginia Woolf

Using your imagination means that you are using your most powerful tool of creation, manifestation and modification — Dorothy Holder

Where have you been all of your life? — Brian Spellman

You long for life and try to settle the problems of life by a logical tangle. And how tiresome, how insolent your outbursts are, and at the same time, how scared you are! You talk nonsense and are pleased with it; you say imprudent things and are constantly afraid of them and apologizing for them. You declare that you are afraid of nothing and at the same time try to ingratiate yourself with us. You declare that you are gnashing your teeth and at the same time you try to be witty so as to amuse us. You know that your witticisms are not witty, but you are evidently well satisfied with their literary value. You may perhaps really have suffered, but you have no respect whatsoever for your own suffering. You may be truthful in what you have said but you have no modesty; out of the pettiest vanity you bring your truth to public exposure, to the market place, to ignominity. — Fyodor Dostoyevsky