Best Screwed Up Quotes & Sayings

And then I screwed up and the Colonel screwed up and Takumi screwed up and she slipped through our fingers. — John Green

The good news is that you may have created my past and screwed up my present, but you havce no control over my future. You don't know me at all. — David Klass

We were screwed and he didn't even kiss us first. — Ilona Andrews

Whenever Sadie sees engagement rings, she feels a strange mix of emotions: a kind of excitement mixed
with a vague sadness. A longing for a speci??c kind of inclusion she both aspires to and fears. And, oddly, she feels a sense of failure, of
shame. She knows it's nonsensical, but there it is, big inside her, this sense of having screwed everything up, of having lost something she
never had. — Elizabeth Berg

Ryan held out his hands. "What the hell is this? Beat The Shit Out Of Ryan Week?" "I didn't think you'd mind, since you're always insisting upon getting yourself hospitalized,"Claire said.
Ryan's face screwed into disgust. "That was uncalled for."
"The truth hurts, baby."
He smiled. "If you're going to talk to me like that, you can insult me all day long."
Claire pulled her car keys from her pocket, and then pulled on Ryan's hand. "I meant that you're a baby. It wasn't a term of endearment."
"Yeah, right. — Jamie McGuire

Americans are not getting screwed by the Republican Party. They're getting screwed by the large corporations that bought and own the Republican Party. — Molly Ivins

Come on, Oliver. I'm saying no."

"Is it a fake no? Because your body keeps saying yes."

"My body doesn't know anything."

"What does your heart say?"

"That's number one on my list of unenlightened organs. It believes anything it hears. It's screwed up in some way. — Elisa Marie Hopkins

Romance is diffcult for some celebrities. If the media finds out you're dating Robert Pattinson, you're screwed. — Stana Katic

Women who got married got screwed. — Kaya McLaren

Okay. Morality in a nutshell. Don't hurt people if you can avoid it. Don't steal stuff unless you're starving or it's really, really important. Work hard. Pay your bills. Try to help others. Always double-check your math if there are explosives involved. If you screwed it up, you need to see it gets fixed. And don't eat anything that talks. If it doesn't fall under one of those categories, just do the best you can. — Ursula Vernon

In the new style, homosexuals and heterosexuals could be equally unhappy, equally happy, and equally screwed up. — Christopher Bram

You're he best friend I've ever had. Even if things get screwed up, you'll find a way to help me. — A.G. Howard

You know what I know? I know that whenever someone tells you they are doing 'what's best for you', you're screwed. Those are not words you want to hear. It's right up there with 'it's not you it's me'. — Caroline Hanson

In short, if you should find yourself in a fight against a vampire, you are really right and proper fucked. — Robyn Bachar

Everybody, as soon as they do a good experiment, their first thought in this lab is, 'That can't be right. I must have screwed it up. What did I do wrong?' And that's the best kind of scientist because they're filled with this self-doubt. And if I'm going to be honest, that's who I am. And it's what drives me. — Bonnie Bassler

You're right, Ruth. You did screw up my career. You screwed it up good. Best thing you ever did, matter of fact. But you know something? It's okay. Because if it was between the church and you, there was no contest. Even with al the ups and downs and the craziness and the shit and the maxed-out credit cards, the church never stood a chance. I chose you, Ruth. And I'm glad. There. That's what my so-called career was about. And that's what I should have said to you. And I'm sorry I didn't. I'm sorry, Ruth. I'm sorry. — K. D. Miller

Listen cousin, the way things are supposed to work out, one day the struggles of all you screwed up little underdogs will forge a permanent rainbow that'll encircle this entire earth, I should live so long. — John Nichols

Mistakes don't scare me or bother me. If I feel like I made the same mistake twice, then I feel like I've really screwed up. But if I make one mistake and learn from it, hey, to me in the game of life it's just as important to know what doesn't work as what does. So I think mistakes are a good thing. — Garth Brooks

We're all flawed, but basically, effective managers are people whose flaws are not fatal under the circumstances. Maybe the best managers are simply ordinary, healthy people who aren't too screwed up. — Henry Mintzberg

...I may seem like this flawless creature to you, someone with infinite wisdom and patience who always says the right thing, but, just like you - your parents - despite doing my best with what I have, I fail sometimes." A lone tear dangles from her eye. "And today is the fifth anniversary of my mother's death, so excuse me if I can't listen as attentively while you go on about how your parents screwed you up. — Harper Bliss

Always take earplugs and an eye mask. It doesn't matter where you are. Even if you're in the best hotel, if there's road works outside, then you're screwed. So I take earplugs and an eye mask with me wherever I go. — Tamsin Egerton

I'm serious, Mar, I don't know how to act around him now. I can't be nice, because he'll hate that. But I can't be mean just to be nice."
"You really need medication."
"I'm in a quandary. A Catch-22. I'm screwed. — Kristin Walker

You can't undo yesterday, you can work on today, tomorrow, you will wonder how you screwed up 2 days in a row — Eddie Long

Then she blinked, because his eyes were the wrong color - blue instead of hazel.
And she realized, in that moment when she'd said screw it to her hesitations and trepidations and
had let her heart lead the way, she'd imagined herself kissing Vaughn.
"Oh, boy," she said, with a ragged, panicky exhale.
"I know. I felt that, too," Tyler said.
She was officially screwed. — Julie James

No matter how screwed up life is today, today is just a collection of moments that stop and start where you want them to. And nothing upsetting matters when you know tomorrow's gonna be better than yesterday — Robyn Schneider

Listen, I would never judge someone who screwed their babysitter for years or knocked up their secretary, so don't ask me to. — Pat Martin

Simon said, "So have we DTRed now?" Isabelle shrugged. "I have no idea what that means." Simon hid the fact that he was inordinately pleased by this. "Are we officially boyfriend and girlfriend? Is there a Shadowhunter ritual? Should I change my Facebook status from 'it's complicated' to 'in a relationship'?" Isabelle screwed up her nose adorably. "You have a book that's also a face?" Simon — Cassandra Clare

The Patriots had picked Brady in the sixth round, and he soon turned out to be one of the two or three best quarterbacks in the League, and absolutely perfect for the Belichick system and for the team's offense. So, as the team continued to make a series of very good calls on other player personnel choices, there was a general tendency to talk about how brilliant Pioli and Belichick were, and to regard Pioli as the best young player personnel man in the League. Just to remind himself not to believe all the hype and that he could readily have screwed up on that draft, Pioli kept on his desk a photo of Brady, along with a photo of the team's fifth-round traft choice, the man he had taken ahead of Brady: Dave Stachelski. He was a Tight End from Boise State who never a played a down for New England. Stachelski was taken with the 141st pick, Brady with the 199th one. 'If I was so smart,' Pioli liked to say, 'I wouldn't have risked an entire round of the draft in picking Brady. — David Halberstam

If you screwed up and said out loud that you thought something scary was happening, grown-ups would say, "Oh, for Pete's sake - what an imagination." This is the best way to gaslight children. It keeps them under control, because if the parent is a mess, the children are doomed. It's best for the child to think he or she is the problem. Then there is toxic hope, which is better than no hope at all, that if the child can do better or need less, the parents will be fine. — Anne Lamott

We want to hear, we long to hear, "I screwed up. I will do my best to ensure that it will not happen again." Most of us are not impressed when a leader offers the form of Kennedy's admission without its essence, as in Ronald Reagan's response to the Iran-Contra scandal, which may be summarized as "I didn't do anything wrong myself, but it happened on my watch, so, well, I guess I'll take responsibility."3 That doesn't cut it. — Carol Tavris

People are basically screwed-up and often the best you can do for them is listen, hear the worst and then tell it's not so bad. — Michael Nava

One more second and he would've hit you with the gun. And who knows what else. When I think about what could've happened ... " He gripped her shoulders determinedly. "I should've told you this earlier, Jordan. Now that I've got my chance, you're going to hear it whether you like it or not. You came into my life and messed the whole thing up and now I'm screwed. Because I'm in love with you. As in balls-out, head-over-heels, watching-Dancing-with-the-Stars -on-Monday-nights, wine-and-bubble-bath kind of love. Hell, I think I'd even wear a scarf indoors for you."
Jordan smiled, her eyes misty, as she touched his cheek. "That's the best kind of love. — Julie James

The best people in the world aren't those who never fail - but those who fail and learn something from it. I hope that your goal in life isn't to slide safely into death not having screwed up much. — John Townsend

People confuse the word cynicism with the word skepticism. One is "you're not gonna pay attention to anything, think everything's screwed up, nothing's ever gonna work out right", that's cynicism. But skepticism is, "you're presented with evidence and you do your best to draw conclusions based on that". So, as the saying goes, Bill Nye, do you believe in ghosts? No. However, I would love to see one. Bring it on. I'm open minded to the idea, but the more I look into it in a skeptical frame of thinking, the less likely it seems. — Bill Nye

Warren Beatty once quipped that the best time for a wedding was noon, because if the marriage didn't work, you hadn't screwed up the entire day. — Peter Biskind

There's a huge difference between I screwed up (guilt) and I am a screwup (shame). The former is acceptance of our imperfect humanity. The latter is basically an indictment of our very existence. It's always helpful to remember that when perfectionism is driving, shame is riding shotgun. Perfectionism is not healthy striving. It is not asking, How can I be my best self? Instead, it's asking, What will people think? When looking at our own stories, we can benefit from wondering: Did something happen in this story that left me feeling like my cover was blown, revealing that I'm really not what I want people to think I am? Did my pretend/please/perfect/perform/prove house of cards come tumbling down? For those of us who struggle with perfectionism, it's not difficult to find ourselves in a situation similar to Andrew's, one where we look back and think, I got sucked into proving I could, rather than stepping back and asking if I should - or if I really even wanted to. — Brene Brown

But when I compare the idea that "Yeah, sometimes life sucks, and I have to deal with it as best I can" with the idea that "An immensely powerful being is screwing with me on purpose and won't tell me why" - I, for one, find the first idea much more comforting. I don't have to torture myself with guilt over how I must have angered my god or screwed up my karma, with that guilt piling onto the trauma I'm already going through. — Greta Christina

I had the best sex of my life with a girl I had thought was way out of my league and in love with my dead brother. Yeah, Nash was probably right, if anybody could put up with all the crazy I was rocking I should probably lock her in quick because even I could see how seriously screwed up I am. — Jay Crownover

The bourbon goes into the recipe, Miss Connor, not into you," he'd said from directly behind me. He had a way of doing that, catching me in the act. I suppose the number of times I screwed up made me an easy mark.
My spine straightened at the scolding, but my mouth did what it knew best. "Well, that's just a waste of perfectly good bourbon if you ask me. — Jenny Lyn

I couldn't help noticing how all the best Marxist analyses are always analyses of a failure ... Like, why did Paris Commune go wrong? Trotskyites. Why did the October Revolution go wrong? And so on ... OK, we screwed it up, but we can give the best theory why it had to happen. — Slavoj Zizek

[T]he more we do this, the more I learn about what I think Chains was really training us for. And this is it. He wasn't training us for a calm and orderly world where we could pick and choose when we need to be clever. He was training us for a situation that was fucked up on all sides. Well, we're in it, and I say we're equal to it. I don't need to be reminded that we're up to our heads in dark water. I just want you boys to remember that we're the gods-damned sharks."
"Right on," cried Bug. "I knew there was a reason I let you lead this gang! — Scott Lynch

He must have screwed hundreds of girls in his effort to get that chick out of his system. Hadn't worked so far, but hey. He was nothing if not persistent. — Shannon McKenna

Welcome to Hell where you're screwed if you do and damned if don't. And just so you know, Lucifer has a special spot reserved for you ... — Eve Langlais

I just think that I screwed up what could have turned into a more significant relationship, or at least a lasting friendship. — Emily Giffin

wasting what little breath he did have laughing at himself. Because sometimes, that's all you could do. You make a fucking stupid mistake, and you could only call yourself an idiot and then snap back before you screwed up again. — Kelley Armstrong

Rigidity is the enemy of acting. And I think that people who stay up all night focusing on every beat they're going to do the next day always end up getting screwed. — Jay Baruchel

You're both so screwed up alone that together you're like the perfect mess. — J. Sterling

Scully-'
'I screwed up.' Her hands again. 'Damnit, I screwed up.'
'Nope' [Mulder] said ... 'If I was dead, then you would have screwed up.' She saw the grin. 'Then I'd have to haunt you.'
'Mulder that's not funny.'
'But you don't believe in ghosts and goblins ... — Charles Grant

What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn't it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It's gonna be worth it!. — Bill Hicks

There's a tacit agreement between myself and the audience that I will entertain them when they buy their ticket, and I've been the one that has screwed that up. Once in while I indulge myself and try something else, and I keep my fingers crossed that it will come out good and there'll be enough people who will enjoy it, but that doesn't often happen. — Woody Allen

But since a person's deepest fantasies were formed by their more or less screwed up childhoods, it made sense that anything based on them would end up in betrayal. — Shannon McKenna

Back in 1996, 65 percent of subprime loans had been fixed-rate, meaning that typical subprime borrowers might be getting screwed, but at least they knew for sure how much they owed each month until they paid off the loan. By 2005, 75 percent of subprime loans were some form of floating-rate, usually fixed for the first two years. — Michael Lewis

Pickaxes?" Alex screwed up his brow. "What do you plan to do with those in Bristol, Pooele? Beat upon little old ladies? — Katharine Ashe

We can pretend all we like that women are equal, ut as long as men and women are continually encouraged to supress the broad aspects of their humanity that we decry as "feminine", we're all screwed.
Because it's those things qe celebrate as "other" that make us truly human. It's what we label "soft" or "feminune" that makes civilization possible, It's our empathy, our ability to care and nurtureand connect. It's our ability to come together. To buld. To remake. Asking men to cut away their "feminine" traits asks them to cut away half their humanity, just as asking women to supress ther "masculine" traits asks them to deny their full autonomy. — Kameron Hurley

Sam shakes his head, still marveling at the hulking warship. "So they have a secret weakness right? Like how you can shoot that one spot on the Death Star and the whole thing blows up?"
Adam's brow furrows. "What's a Death Star?"
Sam throws up his hands. "We're screwed. — Pittacus Lore

Yeah. She'd manipulated the second most powerful vampire in town into taking her side against a psycho bitch-queen sorority girl. She'd talked rationally about putting people's brains into computers. This was a normal day. No wonder she was screwed up. — Rachel Caine

When you are a screwed up person, you have a responsibility to keep your normal friends from getting walked on. 'Cos, how bad could you screw that up ? And don't say, Well, you could cause someone six months of physical therapy. 'Cos, hey, lots of times, those exercise take places in pools and nylon tents with little plastic balls. Fun places like that. And, she gets to park up really close for a while. Ha ha, oh, I'm the bad guy. — Christopher Titus

Human beings are like the screwed-up children of alcoholic parents in that way, picking up the pieces afterward and trying to make up reasons why. — Joe Schreiber

I admire Jodie Foster. Her head is screwed on really well. It's not loose at all. — Thora Birch

Like Nadia, I wrestled with the evangelical tradition in which I was raised, often ungracefully. At times I've tried to wring the waters of my first baptism out of my clothes, shake them out of my hair, and ask for a do-over in some other community where they ordain women, vote for Democrats, and believe in evolution. But Jesus has this odd habit of allowing ordinary, screwed-up people to introduce him, and so it was ordinary, screwed-up people who first told me I was a beloved child of God, who first called me a Christian. I don't know where my story of faith will take me, but it will always begin here. That much can never change. — Rachel Held Evans

When people in organizations focus only on their position, they have little sense of responsibility for the results produced when all positions interact. Moreover, when results are disappointing, it can be very difficult to know why. All you can do is assume that someone screwed up. — Peter M. Senge

He'd done it again. Screwed up in a social situation and dragged the whole team down with hm. His new team. The ones who were counting on him to be a leader on and off the field. He'd led them, all right, almost into a brawl. — Jami Davenport

Imagining you are going to die is all part of that third brain ... the neo-cortex. That's where the Landlord really screwed up. — Richard Finney

Life is messy and the universe has an awful lot of people to keep track of. Sometimes things get screwed up. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Sometimes good things happen to bad people.
That isn't fair.
Bad things should happen to bad people.
And they will. They will. — Amy Zhang

There is not much mental distance between a feeling of having been screwed and the ethic of total retaliation, or at least the kind of random revenge that comes with outraging the public decency. — Hunter S. Thompson

When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up. — Albert Brooks

We're so screwed up with our principles. We used to mock Japanese game shows where they ate bugs. Now we're doing the same, if not worse. It's terrifying ... It seems the better the quality (of what you're trying to do), the more you're penalised.. There are some very good people in television, but a lot of fools running it. They put fame ahead of talent and think someone from EastEnders will put bums on seats. — Philip Glenister

Barack Obama said yesterday that the economy was 'going to get worse before it gets better.' See, that's when you know the campaign is really over. Remember before the election? 'The audacity of hope!' 'Yes, we can!' 'A change we can believe in!' Now it's, 'We're all screwed.' — Jay Leno

Lucia opened the door. "They say not to discuss politics and religion on the first date."
"Well, then." I gave her a huge smile. "We're screwed. — Jennifer Lane

Okay, you're telling the truth. By the way, Nick, you have the most screwed-up life. You're either boring as all get out, or you're about to die. There's no middle ground with you. You might want to work on that. — Sherrilyn Kenyon