Best Kinky Friedman Quotes & Sayings

I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass. — Kinky Friedman

You've got to find what you love and let it kill you. I don't think any of us should ever forget that. — Kinky Friedman

I've achieved many of my dreams, and I want to see that some others get a chance to, especially younger Texans. — Kinky Friedman

Young people are the key to this election. — Kinky Friedman

But the most dangerous thing in the world in the world is to run the risk of waking up one morning and realizing suddenly that all this time you've been living without really and truly living and by then it's too late. When you wake up to that kind of realization, it's too late for wishes and regrets. It's even too late to dream. — Kinky Friedman

The distance between the limousine and the gutter is a short one. — Kinky Friedman

We're going to make that Lone Star shine again — Kinky Friedman

I don't apologize to people with an agenda. — Kinky Friedman

I admit I was drinking a Guinness ... but I did not swallow. — Kinky Friedman

I admit to drinking it, but I did not swallow. — Kinky Friedman

Happiness is a moving target. — Kinky Friedman

All my adult life I've been in the practice of giving advice to people who are happier than I am. — Kinky Friedman

If you're paranoid long enough, sooner or later you're gonna be right. — Kinky Friedman

Regaring Politics: You've got your cats on one side and your dogs on the other; someone has to walk the fence and feed the animals. - Kinky Friedman — Ray Palla

I'd felt that a man without a woman was like a neck without a pain. — Kinky Friedman

Wandering around back stage at a willie Nelson concert is a bit like being the parrot on the shoulder of the guy who's running the Ferris wheel. It's not the best seat in the house, but you see enough lights, action, people, and confusion to make you wonder if anybody knows what the hell's going on. If you're sitting out front, of course, it all rolls along as smoothly as a German train schedule, but as Willie, like any great magician, would be the first to point out, the real show is never in the center ring. As Willie always says, Fortunately, we're not in control. — Kinky Friedman

We were a country band with a social conscience. — Kinky Friedman

Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive. — Kinky Friedman

I don't believe in carrying a weapon. If somebody wants to shoot me, he'll have to bring his own gun. — Kinky Friedman

The best fiction is true. — Kinky Friedman

I don't see how the people who created the problem can fix it. Texas is worth fighting for, and the best way to fight is to get the politicians out of politics. — Kinky Friedman

My three favorite travel writers of all time are Robert Louis Stevenson, Graham Greene, and Chuck Thompson. Smile When You're Lying not only tells the truth about the travel-writing racket, it gets to the heart of some of the travel industry's best-kept secrets. — Kinky Friedman

It's all very well going around thinking you're a cowboy, until you run into somebody who thinks he's an Indian. — Kinky Friedman

You don't accomplish much by swimming with the mainstream. Hell, a dead fish can do that. — Kinky Friedman

These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable. — Kinky Friedman

Every time you see a beautiful woman, just remember, somebody else got tired of her shit — Kinky Friedman

We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians. — Kinky Friedman

Finding a cat
or having a cat find you
can change your world as much as marriage, divorce, love, death, or even winning the lottery can, and sometimes more. — Kinky Friedman

When you have a cat you assume certain responsibilities that, in a spiritual sense, transcend those of a marital or a business relationship. — Kinky Friedman

You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing. — Kinky Friedman

We're all worm bait waiting to happen. It's what you do while you wait that matters. — Kinky Friedman

Whether your destination is heaven or hell, you always have to change planes in Dallas. — Kinky Friedman

On the whole I prefer cats to women because cats seldom if ever use the word 'relationship'. — Kinky Friedman

The good teachers are bailing out. Education is very important ... This should be the centerpiece on the table of Texas. — Kinky Friedman

No matter where you go, you always see yourself in the rearview mirror. — Kinky Friedman

I've been in true love many times. I just try to avoid it as much as possible. For if there's one thing I know about true love, it is that sooner or later, it results in a hostage situation. — Kinky Friedman

The Ten Commandments being taken out of the public schools. I want them back. — Kinky Friedman

The system is not perfect. Until it's perfect, let's do away with the death penalty. — Kinky Friedman