Best Comedians Quotes & Sayings

You work with stand-up comedians or you work with somebody in theater, you work with somebody from 'Star Search' or 'Survivor' or a kid, it constantly changes how you play with people. — Steve Zahn

All of my favorite actresses are comedians at heart: Shirley MacLaine and Madeline Kahn, Diane Keaton and Debra Winger. And they are all amazing dramatic actresses, but everything they do is funny. — Casey Wilson

The tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job. — Jimmy Carr

When you see a comedian on stage, the best comedians make it feel like a conversation. But it's not. We have very little interest in what an audience has to say during a performance. Being a stand-up comedian, you're an egomaniac to some degree. Everyone wants to hear what you have to say, apparently. That's not how real relationships work. — Hari Kondabolu

Years ago, there was a variety theatre in every British town, and people paid to go down and see it. Comedy was the main part of the theatre, and comedians earned a living by being funny. Now you have comedy in television instead. Comedians now have to be funny within a play. — Norman Wisdom

Conan O'Brien has talked about how comedians try to emulate their heroes, fall short, and end up doing their own thing. Johnny Carson tried to be Jack Benny but ended up Johnny Carson. David Letterman tried to copy Johnny Carson but ended up David Letterman. And Conan O'Brien tried to be David Letterman but ended up Conan O'Brien. In O'Brien's words, "It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique." Thank goodness. — Austin Kleon

I found out I had a real love for comedy and comedy writing. The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing. — Rita Rudner

I don't like writing for comedians. I like writing for actors. The best comedians are the best actors. — Neil Simon

Comedians have the ability to feel other emotions. — Bill Burr

We're lucky enough, especially in these 'Madagascar' films, to be working with some of the best people in the industry, who are not only great actors, but great comedians and improvisers and filmmakers. And they then become a part of creating their characters. — Eric Darnell

HECKLER: Say something funny!
COMEDIAN: I don't do requests. — J. Ross Clara

Some of the best ideas I've gotten for my act have come from comedians and not magicians. — Andrew Mayne

Aditi is a comedy superstar over in India. She's only one of three female English-speaking comedians in India. — Hasan Minhaj

The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is literally dying off. — Alexei Sayle

Comedians are sometimes resentful of their writers. Probably because it's hard for giant egos to admit you need anyone but yourself to be what you are. — Dick Cavett

Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish? — Paul Lynde

I thought they may have presumed too much knowledge of certain things for people who are not comedians. Like Montreal. A comic understands what it is and its importance, but someone else may not know about it. — Todd Barry

There have been many definitions of hell, but for the English the best definition is that it is the place where the Germans are the police, the Swedish are the comedians, the Italians are the defense force, Frenchmen dig the roads, the Belgians are the pop singers, the Spanish run the railways, the Turks cook the food, the Irish are the waiters, the Greeks run the government, and the common language is Dutch. — David Frost

Most young comedians would be lying to say that they weren't huge Weird Al fans when they were kids. Weird Al is probably the first person I ever realized had a career that was just making jokes. — Trevor Moore

I'd like to be remembered as good person and as one of the best comedians of my generation. — Hannibal Buress

Because of my comedic-influence growing up, Mel Brooks, Jim Carrey, Steve Martin. A lot of Jeff comedic-influences included Charlie Chaplin and physical comedians of the silent-era. What we were able to do together is to show all these major influences but make it into our own comedy. We've seen the stereotypical boy-meets-girl story a hundred thousand times. — J. Robert Spencer

It's 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It's enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren't there that are alive. — Bob Saget

Comedians and impressionists used to be two different showbiz animals entirely, but now there's no such thing as a comedian who doesn't do impressions. — John Podhoretz

I do love standup. I love comedians. They're my community. Also, because I know so many of them, I know the value of them. I know what they can do. — Louis C.K.

Roxanne came along in '86, when I was doing a lot of stand-up. I auditioned for the movie, and of course I was a huge Steve Martin fan, so I really hoped I would get this part. I don't think there was any part in particular that I auditioned for. I just went in and talked with them. There were so many parts in there, and so many comedians ended up getting in that movie, playing different firemen and townspeople. — Kevin Nealon

I was always the class clown; I made my family laugh, and that was when I was always happiest. I grew up listening to stand-up comedians' albums and watching them on TV, on 'The Tonight Show' and Letterman. — Sarah Silverman

Comedians rarely have writers, and if you do it's usually a sign of laziness. — Jim Gaffigan

I'm labeled a comedic actor, which is awesome. But I love getting the occasional dramatic role, too. Some of your best dramatic actors are ultimately comedians. — Jim O'Heir

I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital. — Demetri Martin

But I will say that most comedians are the saddest people I know. That is the biggest paradox to me. — Jean Reno

My preference is live performance. Because you get the feedback. There's an energy. It's live theater. That's why I think actors like that. You know, musicians need it, comedians definitely need it. It doesn't matter what size and what club, whether it's 30 people in the club or 2,000 in a hall or a theater. It's live, it's symbiotic, you need it. — Robin Williams

The mother-in-laws themselves weren't natural jokes but most comedians used to use that. — Allen Toussaint

A comedian is someone who tells the truth. Truth is the set of all jokes told by all comedians in the world. — Piero Scaruffi

He had chosen to spend his days in the world of men. Life was what mattered, its slow, priceless pulse, its burning fragility; his debt lay with those importunate Flanders echoes that had never really left him. The private could aspire to be a general because both general and private, at their best, recognized the dire importance of strategy, fortitude, the value of their imperiled existence; but when the machinist became the executive he left the world of tangibles and human conjugacy and entered a shadow world of credits and consols - a world that seemed to reward nothing so much as irresponsibility and boundless greed. And when the thunder rolled down upon them - as he knew it would - how would he feel, playing with paper, striving to outwit his fellows, drinking imported Scotch evenings and listening to the brittle parade of comedians on radio ...? — Anton Myrer

Jewish comedians do the best Jewish jokes, and anyone else doing that, they don't have a right to, because they're not coming from that experience. I know that's a slightly heightened example, but it's the same thing. We're bumpkins, so we can make bumpkin jokes. — Simon Pegg

I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers. — Steve Martin

Comedians are the best public speakers and are up against the most brutal audiences, so you must study them. Learn from them. — James Altucher

The people who are best at telling jokes tend to have more health problems than the people laughing at them. A study of Finnish police officers found that those who were seen as funniest smoked more, weighed more, and were at greater risk of cardiovascular disease than their peers [10]. Entertainers typically die earlier than other famous people [11], and comedians exhibit more "psychotic traits" than others [12]. So just as there's research to back up the conventional wisdom on laughter's curative powers, there also seems to be truth to the stereotype that funny people aren't always having much fun. It might feel good to crack others up now and then, but apparently the audience gets the last laugh. — Anonymous

I guess as you get older you sort of see the mechanics, even with the best comedians. There's admiration for people I admire, but it's not guttural laughter. It's a wry 'Oh, well done, sir.' But I sort of miss that slightly; I miss the raw joy of comedy I used to get. — Stephen Merchant

Comedians, such as yourself, Jon Stewart and others, are a valuable supplement, and here's why: Good journalism at its best frequently speaks truth to power. What's happened with journalists - again, I don't except myself from this criticism - in some ways we've lost our guts. We need a spine transplant. What's happened is comedians, in their own way, speak truth to power and fill that vacuum that we in journalism have too often left, particularly post 9/11. — Dan Rather

The best-laid plans of mice and comedians usually wind up on the cutting-room floor. — Jon Stewart

As I read my poems aloud, I paid still more attention to sound in my writing. One morning as I revised, I set down a word that I knew was not right, and I heard myself think: But I can say it so that it's right. Immediately, I knew that I had understood one of the hazards of reading aloud. Performance can paper over bad writing, or substitute for the best language. Performance is a problem, and most performance poets or slammers are actors or standup comedians and not poets; we never hear a line break and seldom a new metaphor. There are other problems with the popularity of the poetry reading, but largely the reading has been good for poetry because poets watch their own poems come back to them on the faces of listeners. One addresses not only the Muse but actual people. — Donald Hall

To show that a comedian on stage in India talking about sanitation or in South Africa talking about HIV and AIDS awareness, if you follow the joke into their lives, you can see that, like, oh, these things aren't just contrived in joke books. This is real life. I think the best comedians have that bravery and courage to say, Oh, this is what it is. — Hasan Minhaj

I try to be personal, but that's not me, either. What seems to work best, and the tweets I enjoy reading the most, are when comedians just give jokes. It's a great joke of the day thing, especially revolving around current events. But that's not my forte either, so I find myself in no man's land with Twitter. I don't particularly enjoy giving me out to everyone. — John Cho

As comedians, we have the opportunity to convey a message that will have an effect. The best can make you laugh and cry, the way musicians and actors can. — Jay Pharoah

The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a worst part. I mean I'm a comedian - comedians like to work alone. So maybe I'm not the ideal guy to be married to, in that sense. — Chris Rock

I'm actually a big fan of Kathy Griffin because I think she's really funny. I think she's really self-deprecating, which is something I like to see in a comedian. I think those are really the best comedians: people who can make fun of themselves. — Chelsea Handler

I don't like comedians who don't have conviction, and with stand-up, it is always best to have an angle. — Jack Whitehall

I don't consider myself a stand-up comedian. I consider myself a performer; a comic as opposed to stand-up comedian. Stand-up comedians stand there and do their bits; I break every rule in creation. If there's a rule that can be broken in stand-up, I'll do it. — J. B. Smoove

You know what we need?"
I was sitting between Eddie and Lissa, on our flight from Seattle to Fairbanks. As the shortest-marginally-and the mastermind, I'd gotten stuck with the middle seat.
"A new plan?" asked Lissa.
"A miracle?" asked Eddie.
I paused and glared at them both before responding. Since when had they become the comedians here? — Richelle Mead

Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they're socially callous. — Dave Chappelle

If you like standup and decide that it's overtaking your life and want to hate it, watch 1,000 standup comedians who are trying to get on a TV show. — Adam DeVine

Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT. — Dane Cook

The trouble with most comedians who try to do satire is that they are essentially brash, noisy and indelicate people who have to use a sledge hammer to smash a butterfly. — Imogene Coca

Jay Wexler is my kind of writer
a weird one, and a wry one, and one who isnt afraid to act silly in a sort of bait-and-switch that, to the readers surprise, moves him as much as it makes him laugh. Like all the best comedians, Wexler is clearly nursing a heart that the world broke a long time ago. Ed Tuttle is a book that cant decide what it wants to be when it grows up, but as with most cases of arrested development, theres something very serious going on behind all the antics. Plus, there are pictures. — Ron Currie Jr.

I think that sometimes only comedians can reach the peaks of tragedy. — Roberto Benigni

If I've inadvertently become some sort of role model for failed comedians, then it's really backfired very badly on me. — Jack Dee

Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times. — Mort Sahl

When I started, there was no comedy community, no comedy industry; there were comedians. — Robert Klein

My favorite comedians were Jimmy Durante, George Burns, senior citizens. — Joseph Bologna

I find comedians to be the biggest cocksuckers, because they don't want people to know how easy it is. — Gavin McInnes

Eddie Murphy did '48 Hrs.' because that was the only movie offered to him. And he killed it. Bill Cosby did 'I Spy' because that was the TV show he was offered. But now, there are networks dedicated to comedy, and the Internet ... it's so easy for comedians to not do things that aren't true to them. — Jerrod Carmichael

You learn to laugh at yourself and you also lean on comedy as a crutch to kind of take the edge off because comedians often are self-deprecating and they cross lines that they shouldn't. Stuff like that brings a smile to my face every once in a while when needed. — John Cena

A lot of stand-up comedians are actually very insecure, and they come on slightly battling the audience. They want to be the superior person in the room, sneering at the world. That can be very funny. But to me, what's more interesting is that the world is on my shoulders, and it's pushing me down. — Stephen Merchant

I admire Cate Blanchett and Kate Winslet. I like a lot of comedians. I like Cameron Diaz - she's funny and has a very light spirit. That's quite rare nowadays. There are many actresses I admire. — Catherine Deneuve

I can get where some scientists would say comedians are crazy. What you have to understand: A lot of comedians are dealing with a dark passion. A lot of these are guys coming from a tumultuous life, including myself. Some people need outlets, a way to express yourself. — Kevin Hart

A lot of amazing comedians that I've worked with just really follow their instincts and you can't really teach someone comedic timing. And you just kind of have it. — Chelsea Handler

Comedians are thinkers. The best ones are akin to philosophers, in my opinion. — Ted Alexandro

I never wanted to churn it out. Comedians tend to work all the time. They never put it down like musicians who might make an album then take three or four years off to recharge their batteries. Comedians tend to work straight through and they get stale because of that. Even when I didn't have a lot of money I never ever did it unless I had something new to say. — Chris Rock

A lot of people, especially comedians, just feel like, 'Oh, I can be charming and whatever, and have fun, and everybody is just going to like me.' But you've got to work. There's got to be a real work ethic that gets you better. — Terry Crews

Old radio comedy makes me laugh, as well as 'I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue' and comedians like Paul Merton. — Lynne Truss

I love Dallas, Austin and Houston. Why? Because some of the best comedians, like Bill Hicks and Sam Kinison, started their careers in Texas, and because the crowds there are comedy-educated. — Bobby Lee

I think a lot of people compare female writers or female comedians to each other in a way that men are not. Male comedy writers are not scrutinized. — Mindy Kaling

I don't like the fact that most black people or black comedians have to present themselves in a flamboyant way. It's good if you can do that, but I don't like to think that's the way all black comedians are. I'm not that type. — Franklyn Ajaye

Even though I do a more traditional type of being funny on television, I still know a lot of comedians and stand-ups and improv actors. — Busy Philipps

I think sometimes comedians and entertainers and artists, sometimes they get onstage, and it's all for what they want to do. I think you still need to do stuff for the audience. They're the ones who are making it possible. — Frank Caliendo

There are words that I wouldn't say because they hurt people's feelings. I just happen to be a white guy who writes for a lot of black comedians but if I wrote for a lot of gay comedians there might be stuff I would say then. — Neal Brennan

Las Vegas has become a child's picture-book dream of a city-here a storybook castle, there a sphinx-flanked black pyramid beaming white light into the darkness as a landing beam for UFOs, and everywhere neon oracles and twisting screens predict happiness and good fortune, announce singers and comedians and magicians in residence or on their way, and the lights always flash and beckon and call. Once every hour a volcano erupts in light and flame. Once every hour a pirate ship sinks a man o'war. — Neil Gaiman

Stand-up comedians say that anyone in the audience can be funny, but people paid to see us because we're just a little bit funnier. In the same way, I think anybody can play music - in fact, I think everyone has music in them, but some of us can do it a little better. — J. D. Souther

There are a couple of things I want to impart to ladies who want to be in comedy: One, you don't have to be weird or be quirky to get your job done. And two, comedy skill is not sexually transmittable. You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you're doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth. — Tina Fey