Being The Goat Quotes & Sayings

I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same fifty percent rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't ... Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe ... same as the voodoo lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles. It's all the same ... so just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself ... — George Carlin

Christmas was just another workday, just as it had been growing up in Alabama. In a good year back then, little Robert got a handkerchief and an orange. One year his father fashioned a little cart - although come to think of it that was in the spring, not at Christmastime - and the children took turns being pulled around the yard by the family goat. Then he died. His father and the goat. — Robert M. Edsel

The appearance of precision and order are so important to military commanders because they are generally idiots who couldn't plan a decent cocktail party, especially the bureaucrats who float to the top of the Officer Personnel Management System. They require the appearance of precision and order because their operations, this one being emblematic, are goat fucks. — Stan Goff

I remember in the spring of 1971, a hundred thousand people converged on the Pentagon in June of 1971. They threw blood; I guess it was goat's blood or something, on the steps to the Pentagon. People were being accused of being murderers and baby killers. You just can't imagine the civic outrage. — Wesley Clark

To you, being rich might mean owning a goat farm in South Carolina. For your best friend, it might mean being able to start her own business selling wine over the Internet. Whatever the case, youre probably not motivated by the money itself, but by what the money could let you be and do. — J.D. Roth

I am an animal, a lion, I live in a certain country, I have just been hunting, they would have me share my prey with a heifer, a cow and a goat; but being the stronger, I award myself all the shares for various reasons, the last of which is quite simply that my name is lion — Anonymous

A goat's frown cannot stop it from being taken to the market. — Nigeria

Shakra scowled. "You're a moron."
"Being rude does not make you more intelligent that I."
"No, being more intelligent than you makes me more intelligent than you, you goat-brained simpleton."
"I did not come here to be insulted."
"What, do you have somewhere special to go for that kind of thing? — Derek Landy

I am an artist. I draw things that interest and intrigue me. When I happened upon you there at the lake, I felt compelled to capture your likeness."
A slow smile spread over his face. "So I interest and intrigue you, do I?"
"Only from an artistic point of view, nothing more. You might have been a particularly fine ram or perhaps a goat who had strayed from its flock. You were there, so I drew you."
Gabriel's eyebrows arched, uncertain whether she was playing games with him or not. "I can assure you that I am neither a ram nor a goat, although I have been accused over the years of being randy as one. — Tracy Anne Warren

He had managed to lock away everything he didn't want to remember... and the memories returned as well. — Daniel Levine

For, in fine, whether awake or asleep, we ought never to allow ourselves to be persuaded of the truth of anything unless on the evidence of our reason. And it must be noted that I say of our reason, and not of our imagination or of our senses: thus, for example, although we very clearly see the sun, we ought not therefore to determine that it is only of the size which our sense of sight presents; and we may very distinctly imagine the head of a lion joined to the body of a goat, without being therefore shut up to the conclusion that a chimaera exists; — Rene Descartes

So we must presume that the worst, rather than the best, choice will be made. The sober and responsible elements will be defeated in the present clash. — Philip K. Dick

This is going to hurt, isn't it?"
"Yes it is."
"Am I allowed to call you names?"
It was very very hard not to laugh. Impertinent little brat. — Bianca Sommerland

Before I was married, I thought the sound of bangles jangling on my forearms would be delightful. I looked forward to being able to wear bells around my ankles and silver necklaces around my neck, but not any more, not since I had learned what they represented for the man who gave them. A necklace was no prettier than a piece of of rope that ties a goat to a tree, depriving it of freedom. — Phoolan Devi

Sometimes there has to be a goat on some level, and I'm totally fine with that being me. — Abby Wambach

Being a conservative on campus is like bing a goat amongst the taliban. You are never safe. — Greg Gutfeld

Could a being create the fifty billion galaxies
each with two hundred billion stars
then rejoice in the smell of burning goat flesh? — Ron Patterson

Although we very clearly see the sun, we ought not therefore to determine that it is only of the size which our sense of sight presents; and we may very distinctly imagine the head of a lion joined to the body of a goat, without being therefore shut up to the conclusion that a chimaera exists; for it is not a dictate of reason that what we thus see or imagine is in reality existent; but it plainly tells us that all our ideas or notions contain in them some truth. — Rene Descartes

I was obsessed with Batman as a kid. I did the film in part just to be near the Batmobile. But I also think [director] Christopher Nolan made a very fine, intelligent film. — Cillian Murphy

It hit me that being hip was a full-time job, and I was only a part-timer. I couldn't hide forever that I liked county fairs, particularly the goat booth at the 4-H tent, or that I once spent a week with my grandmother at her house in the giant retirement community of Sun City, Arizona, and it was one of the most carefree times of my life. — Jancee Dunn

I want to be adored, appreciated. I want a guy who'll fight for me. — Karen Kingsbury

It's bad enough in life to do without something YOU want; but confound it, what gets my goat is not being able to give somebody something you want THEM to have. — Truman Capote

He settled his big hands on her hips. He let them slide slowly down to cup her ass which she had jammed into a Spanx hide and seek high rise panty. Before slipping on the slinky purple faux wrap dress that her daughter had given her after surviving being held at gunpoint together gift the prior fall. Stella was fairly sure she would enjoy the sensation of Goat's strong fingers kneading her flesh if it hadn't gotten numb in its fierce polyester lycra prison hours ago. — Sophie Littlefield

I've done my time in being broke in Indonesia. Eating Goat soup. Australia's a developed country, you've got a lot of taxes, rents are high and its quite difficult to survive as an artist especially when you are just coming up. — Andrew Jack

I hate being sugar-lipped, especially by a bleating goat in pinstripes. — Tarryn Fisher

You never have to wait long, or look far, to be reminded of how thin the line is between being a hero or a goat. — Mickey Mantle

Oh well, a second drag couldn't do any harm. — Nina George

He falls asleep quickly. I lie awake and listen to lights being switched off all over the town. Whispered
goodnights. The drowsy creak of bedsprings.
I find Adam's hand and hold it tight.
I'm glad that night porters and nurses and long-distance lorry drivers exist. It comforts me to know that
in other countries with different time zones, women are washing clothes in rivers and children are filing to
school. Somewhere in the world right now, a boy is listening to the merry chink of a goat's bell as he
walks up a mountain. I'm very glad about that. — Jenny Downham

We deal five minutes with a person and their conversion and then we spend the next fifty years trying to disciple a goat into a sheep. I'm not saying this because I'm angry. I'm saying this because countless people are being deceived. — Paul Washer

Secrets, however long they are kept, usually still manage to be brought to light. The best you can hope for is that you'll be in control of when a secret gets out, not if it does."

-Melody in CHIMERA- — Vaun Murphrey

In the aftermath of the oh-so-predictable crash, the Bitcoin fanatics have begun marshaling out excuse after excuse for why this non-investment investment lost so much of its value so fast. One was that hackers attacked some of the exchanges for Bitcoins and crippled it. Really? A hacker can wreck an entire market? — Kurt Eichenwald

To ask a child to feel sympathy for the poor is harder than getting him to feel sympathy for a chicken or a goat - at least you can see a goat being slaughtered. — Karan Mahajan

Krystal's slow passage up the school had resembled the passage of a goat through the body of a boa constrictor, being highly visible and uncomfortable for both parties concerned. — J.K. Rowling

First, I spit out a mouthful of dirt. Then, I screamed at the sky. "That's it! I've had it! Everything is trying to kill me! All I did was make one stupid wish. Aladdin made three. I'm the hero of this story, so where's my happy ending, already? It's not fair."

Rexi bent over, trying to catch her breath. "You know what's not fair? Spending Muse Day as a toad just because the kitchen ran out of frog legs. Or being volunteered for this little journey. So build a bridge, then make like a billy goat and get over it already because no one is listening. — Betsy Schow

But he hadn't appeared that night. Not the next morning, either. By the time she finally crossed paths with him the following afternoon, his mumbled "Merry Christmas" was the extent of their exchange.
It seemed they were back to silence.
I don't want you.
She tried to ignore the words echoing in her memory. They weren't true, she told herself. She was an expert at deceit; she knew a lie when she heard one.
Still. What else to believe, when he avoided her thus?
Although he rarely spoke to her over the next two days, Sophia frequently overheard him speaking of her. Even these remarks were the tersest of commands: "Fetch Miss Turner more water," or "See that her canopy doesn't go slack." She felt herself being tended, not unlike a goat. Fed, watered, sheltered. Perhaps she shouldn't complain. Food, water, and shelter were all welcome things.
But Sophia was not livestock, and she had other, more profound needs. Needs he seemed intent on neglecting, the infuriating man. — Tessa Dare

Reminded of what a diet really is, I began eating more slowly, being more conscious of when I was full. I started to enjoy my buckwheat bread with goat cheese and pureed butternut-squash soup as a response to real hunger. — Kate Christensen