Being Sarcastic And Funny Quotes & Sayings

Hello Miss," I said in a feverish manner. "I'm Jack, and of course I will muck out your horse for you." I grinned a huge dumb smile right at her. "I'm always happy to help."

She was taken aback, gazing at me confused. She wasn't sure if I was being sarcastic, or if I was just some village simpleton who always said too much. — LeeAnn Whitaker

Now, because he knows that his economic theories don't work, he's been spending these last few days calling me every name in the book. Lately he's called me a socialist for wanting to roll-back the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans so we can finally give tax relief to the middle class. I don't know what's next. By the end of the week he'll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in kindergarten. I shared my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. — Barack Obama

The defining factor [for success] is never resources; it's resourcefulness. — Tony Robbins

The lentil is perhaps the world's most versatile, indestructible food. One can eat the lentil unadorned; marry it off to its first cousin, the oafish "bulgur"; or attempt to drown it in harsh vinegar for a "vegan salad." But the lentil, alas, will always survive. Indeed, at the Packwood house, the tenacious little legume will forcibly resurrect, as free of anything resembling taste as ever, and insinuate its indefatigable, pelletlike self onto yet another dinner plate, expecting to be eaten. Again, and again, and again. — Beth Fantaskey

A smile is a flower of a loving and caring heart. Smile with love. — Debasish Mridha

He could have flung his arms about her hips and held her still, for his arms were trembling with desire to seize her and only the stress of his nails against the palms of his hands held the wild impulse of his body in check. — James Joyce

I thought you said you wre bringing a dead body in for examination. Didn't you think to check he actually was dead first?'
Gwen knew he was being sarcastic, but the tone still stung.
'Be fair, Jack,' said Owen from the doorway.'Y'know the guy had done a lot to make himself look dead: lain in a bog for forty years, decayed himself, let the worms in, shrivelled up a bit, stopped breathing, no circulation, all major organs dried up and inactive. Could've fooled anyone. — Trevor Baxendale

Usually the way I think someone is radicalized is through a personal experience. The thing about environmental activism is that we are all having a personal experience with our environment, whether we open our eyes or not. — Peter Sarsgaard

I thought I'd lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while," he grunted, "It relaxes me."
"It does? Oh - you're being sarcastic. That's a good sign probably. — Cassandra Clare

Literature takes reality and human experience as its starting point, transforms it by means of the imagination, and sends readers back to life with renewed understanding of it and zest for it because of their excursions into a purely imaginary realm. — Leland Ryken

But I do mean to say, I have heard her declare, When at the same moment she had on a dress Which cost five hundred dollars, and not a cent less, And jewelry worth ten times more, I should guess, That she had not a thing in the wide world to wear! — William Allen Butler

Some people change when they think they're a star or something. — Paris Hilton

That's one of the things we learn as we grow older
how to forgive. It comes easier at forty than it did at twenty. — L.M. Montgomery

We also have a tendency to root for the fugitive. We're always on the side of the animal being chased. — Norman Jewison

When you're very young, you suddenly find this marvellous freedom. It's quite exciting, and you're prepared to do anything. — David Hockney

With knowledge, our creation can go in any direction - from the worst kind of drama, to the most beautiful dream. Then the best way to express our creativity is with love and awareness of what we really are. — Miguel Angel Ruiz

If smallness was fortune, then I had come across a treasure, infinitesimal and beyond value. I felt lucky. You had to decide what was estimable and precious in your life and set out to find it. The objects you valued defined you. — Pat Conroy

I love Facebook. I could brush my teeth with Facebook. — Isaiah Washington

My life had become some sort of sick, twisted game and the winner would be the best player. Marcus playing the part of an anxious concerned parent and I playing the part of an indifferent and sullen teenager. He and I were the only players in this game and for a while, he had defeated me. I was ready to give up and he would have won. That was a moment of true clarity for me. If my life was to be a game, then I'd be damned if I would let Marcus Fairmont win! — Kirsty Dallas