Beat Your Meat Quotes & Sayings

Maybe I'm damned if I do, but with every other beat I got left in my heart, you know I'd rather be damned with you. — Meat Loaf

He didn't need a psychiatrist to point out that writing had its autoerotic side - you beat a typewriter instead of your meat, but both acts depended largely on quick wits, fast hands and a heartfelt commitment to the art of the farfetched. — Stephen King

The mark of an educated man is the ability to make a reasoned guess on the basis of insufficient information. — Abbott Lawrence Lowell

All you want to do is run out there and get laid and get beat up and get screwed up and get old and sick and banged around by samsara, you fucking eternal meat of comeback you — Jack Kerouac

The meat's so tough that it got up off the plate and beat the shit out of the coffee, which was too weak to defend itself. — Harry Brandt

The sea hath fish for every man. — William Camden

You need a team that's going to care about this thing as much as you do. — Scott Heiferman

I walked down to the village with five Sceltie puppies. I came back to the Hall with four."
"And the fifth ?"
"By now, I'm sure Sylvia has convinced the little bitch to let go of Mikal's trousers. And Mrs Beale promised to send her recipe for puppy biscuits to Sylvia's cook."
"Mrs Beale agreed to share a recipe," Saetan said slowly.
"Mrs Beale agreed that I could pay for ... I'm not sure what it is except that it's something she wanted for the kitchen but couldn't justify as a normal household expense."
"And you agreed to fund this in exchange for a recipe ?"
Daemon stared at his father for a long moment before he muttered, "She sharpened the meat cleaver before coming to talk to me."
One beat of silence. Two. Then Saetan burst out laughing. — Anne Bishop

Ho! now you strike like the blind man;
t'was the boy that stole your meat,
and you'll beat the post. — William Shakespeare

There are five unread messages on the screen, which is what happens when you're the meat in a hot girl sandwich. Threesomes trump checking your phone. That's a no-brainer.

Logan: Hey, bro, Wellsy's friend Allie is crashing at our place this weekend.

Logan: Keep your dick in your pants. G and I aren't in the mood to beat u senseless if u try something. Wellsy might be in the mood for violence, tho. So: dick = pants = don't bother our guest.

Hannah: Allie's staying with u guys til Sunday. She's in a vulnerable place right now. Don't take advantage of her or else I'll be unhappy. And u don't want to make me unhappy, do u?

I snicker. Hannah, diplomatic as always. I quickly scan the last two messages.

Garrett: Allie's gonna crash in my room.

Garrett: Your dick can stay in your room.

Jeez, what is everybody's fascination with my dick? — Elle Kennedy

Justin looks familiar because he's an architect."
As far as an explanation goes, that one is pretty terrible. "Yes. And we all know each other through The Gay Architects Association. I forgot. Were you at the potluck last month?"
"Yup. I brought the pasta salad," Justin answers, without missing a beat.
Avery salutes him with his beer bottle. "It was really good. I liked the bacon."
"It was real too. Only straight architects put bacon bits in their pasta salad." Justin smiles. "I'm in it for the real meat."
"Aren't we all?" Avery laughs and clinks his beer bottle with Justin's.
"Oh, this was a good idea," Brandon says and sighs. "Introducing you two. — Avon Gale

Q. What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, and Blowjob? A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob. — Leah-Beth Homer

Momentarily forgetting this wasn't one of her She-wolves, Sissy automatically teased, "Good thing
my brother likes women with meat on their bones 'cause your ass is gonna be gettin' wide."
As soon as the words left her mouth, she wished she could take them back.
But without missing a beat, Jessie shot back, "Cool. Now I can start wearing your jeans. I thought
that was only going to be possible during the late stages of the pregnancy. — Shelly Laurenston

I'll quit eating meat when you get a cow out here to beat me at a poetry slam. Only so many words rhyme with 'Mooo.' I mean, yes, we're supposed to be better stewards; yes, we're supposed to take care of the earth; yes, we're supposed to honor the sacrifices made by the animals; yes yes yes yes yes, but dammit, we're in charge, and you know why? It's because of these [holding out thumbs] ... Maybe you think that carrots are less important than cows. I think they're equal, especially in a sauce. — Sherman Alexie

Later, he would ask later who Attila was. Now he only wanted Belial's kiss. His heat. His passion. A quick gallop. Frenzied eternity. Insanity multiplied. A perfect, mind-numbing, bone-shattering small death. He wanted it all. Now. Now. Now. — Ciaran O. Dwynvil

The conservative does not defend the Old Regime; he speaks on behalf of old regimes - in the family, the factory, the field. There, ordinary men, and sometimes women, get to play the part of little lords and ladies, supervising their underlings as if they all belong to a feudal estate . . . The task of this type of conservatism---democratic feudalism - -becomes clear: surround these old regimes with fences and gates, protect them from meddlesome intruders like the state or a social movement, while descanting on mobility and innovation, freedom and the future. — Corey Robin

There was a beat of silence before Sin said blandly, "I have occasional nightmares about us having a threesome with that meat-head. I'm far from being easily shocked."
"What?" Boyd looked completely taken aback, his eyebrows shooting up. "That's the last thing I thought I'd ever hear from you."
"It isn't exactly a voluntary thing. It's quite horrifying. I usually wake up before he can put his dick in me though." Sin made a revolted expression, his lips twisting in a scowl of disgust.
"So I shouldn't expect to be propositioned for this threesome too in the near future?" Boyd asked jokingly.
Sin stared at Boyd and didn't bother to reply. — Santino Hassell

I knew that I had seen, had seen at last
That girl my unremembering nights hold fast
Or else my dreams that fly
If I should rub an eye,
And yet in flying fling into my meat
A crazy juice that makes the pulses beat ... — William Butler Yeats

He would have been a tall boy, but he could never get enough food to put meat on his bones. His mother died next. The people of Lykos did the Fading Dirge for them - a tragic thumping of fists against chests, fading slowly, slowly, till the fists, like her heart, beat no more and all dispersed. The — Pierce Brown

I eat innocent meat, the house wife I will beat, the prolife I will kill. What you won't do, I will. — Marilyn Manson

How in the world can a poor man eat? Pray for the sunshine, 'cause it will rain. Things gettin' worse, drivin' all insane; Built a nice bar, painted it brown; Lightnin' came along and burnt it down: No use talkin', any man's beat, With 'leven cent cotton and forty cent meat. 'Leven cent cotton, a car-load of tax, The load's too heavy for our poor backs — Kurt Vonnegut

You win over people just like you win over a dog. You see a dog passing down the street with an old bone in his mouth. You don't grab the bone from him and tell him it's not good for him. He'll growl at you. It's the only thing he has. But you throw a big fat lamb chop in front of him, and he's going to drop that bone and pick up the lamb chop, his tail wagging to beat the band. And you've got a friend. Instead of going around grabbing bones from people ... I'm going to throw them some lamb chops. Something with real meat and life in it. I'm going to tell them about New Beginnings. — David Wilkerson

One time I took my knife and sliced off the end of a hog's nose, just like a piece of salami. The hog went crazy for a few seconds. Then it sat there looking kind of stupid. So I took a handful of salt and rubbed it on the wound. Now that hog really went nuts. It was my way of taking out frustration. Another time, there was a live hog in the pit. It hadn't done anything wrong, wasn't even running around. It was just alive. I took a three-foot chunk of pipe and I literally beat that hog to death. It was like I started hitting the hog and I couldn't stop. And when I finally did stop, I'd expended all this energy and frustration, and I'm thinking what in God's sweet name did I do. — Gail A. Eisnitz

This dish ain't just called Karate Meat because it's got an Asian kick to it. It's called Karate Meat because it will beat you up like a pigeon in prison. — Coolio