Barmaid Quotes & Sayings

Sprang on your nerves with all the abruptness of a normal night's dream turning to nightmare. Dog into wolf, light into twilight, emptiness into waiting presence, here were your underage Marine barfing in the street, barmaid with a ship's propeller tattooed on each buttock, one potential berserk studying the best technique for jumping through a plate glass window (when to scream Geronimo? before or after the glass breaks?), a drunken deck ape crying back in the alley because last time the SP's caught him like this they put him in a strait jacket. — Anonymous

(Darcy) "Why do you suppose she decided to come back ... after all this time, I mean?"
(Nick) "The barmaid?"
"Bronte"
"If I were to hazard a guess, I would suppose her mother finally convinced her she was on her deathbed."
"I suppose, but since she's been on her deathbed for the past ten years that I know of. I'm thinking Bronte probably wouldn't fall for it."
— Jaide Fox

Conscience was the barmaid of the Victorian soul. Recognizing that human beings were fallible and that their failings, though regrettable, must be humored, conscience would permit, rather ungraciously perhaps, the indulgence of a number of carefully selected desires. — C.E.M. Joad

Reality was a drunk buying a lottery ticket, cashing out to the tune of seventy million dollars, and splitting it with his favorite barmaid. A little girl emerging alive from a well in Texas where she'd been trapped for six days. A college boy falling from a fifth-floor in Cancun and only breaking his wrist. Reality was Ralph. — Stephen King

The other night I went out to have dinner in a London pub and the barmaid had this whole conversation saying, 'You look just like that guy from Twilight'. Every time she came up, she said something like, 'You literally could be his brother'. But she never put two and two together. — Robert Pattinson

I never knew what an extraordinary thing it could be to write a book. In the first place, the characters take the bit between their jaws and canter off with you into places you don't want and never catered for. I had smugly intended my book to be about a family rather like ours, but, lud love you! it's already turned into an account of a barmaid's career in an Edgware Road pub, and I can't squeeze us in anywhere!

Odd things happen, too. I had called my pub, 'The Three Feathers,' and counted on there being heaps of pubs in Edgware Road, not called that, but looking a bit like my description. Before we left home, I went down Edgware Road to investigate, and found my pub, even down to the old-fashioned phonograph on the table in the upstairs sitting-room. And I thought, 'I built that place. — Rachel Ferguson

Barmaid, bring a pitcher, another round of brew. Honey, why don't we get drunk and screw? — Jimmy Buffett

I was a barmaid for my mum for years, as we lived above a pub. I still can't hear the Heartbeat theme tune without breaking into a cold sweat, as it used to start at the same time as my shift. — Sara Cox

An alleged scientific discovery has no merit unless it can be explained to a barmaid. — Ernest Rutherford

I'm a schizophrenic mix of wannabe glamourpuss and absolute slob, and my style is very much magistrate-meets-barmaid. — Jenny Eclair

My mother was a barmaid and I was raised in a trailer park. I'm used to that language. I put it on the screen so that people could interpret it as they wish. — Penelope Spheeris

So how to combine a liter of fluid with active agents, customized according to the patient's weight and status, while keeping everything sterile? If this is for the ER or the ICU, we have about ten minutes to make it happen. Fortunately for the patient, there is a sleep-starved teenager apprenticed to a chain-smoking barmaid in the basement who is ready for action. *** — Hope Jahren

When I was a student, I had a part time job as a barmaid at a dodgy pub in Kent. — Jane Green

Your soul: pure glucose edged with hints
Of tentative and half-soiled tints — Edith Sitwell

Now, I don't give a barmaid's tits about the truth. — Ian Simpson

I had my Boswell, once," Mason tells Boswell, "Dixon and I. We had a joint Boswell. Preacher nam'd Cherrycoke. Scribbling ev'rything down, just like you, Sir. Have you," twirling his Hand in Ellipses, - "you know, ever . . . had one yourself? If I'm not prying." "Had one what?" "Hum . . . a Boswell, Sir, - I mean, of your own. Well you couldn't very well call him that, being one yourself, - say, a sort of Shadow ever in the Room who has haunted you, preserving your ev'ry spoken remark, - " "Which else would have been lost forever to the great Wind of Oblivion, - think," armsweep south, "as all civiliz'd Britain gathers at this hour, how much shapely Expression, from the titl'd Gambler, the Barmaid's Suitor, the offended Fopling, the gratified Toss-Pot, is simply fading away upon the Air, out under the Door, into the Evening and the Silence beyond. All those voices. Why not pluck a few words from the multitudes rushing toward the Void of forgetfulness? — Thomas Pynchon

This was pretty exotic stuff for a telepathic barmaid from northern Louisiana. — Charlaine Harris

It should be possible to explain the laws of physics to a barmaid. — Albert Einstein

She's not your friend. She's a barmaid. — Sara Gruen

Dad instantly set out his stall:he wanted a big dog, a 'man dog',a dog that if it was human would enjoy a pint and stare at the barmaid's arse — Alan Carr

A good scientific theory should be explicable to a barmaid. — Ernest Rutherford