Quotes & Sayings About Barbers

Take your ass to the barber shop. Tell the barber that you're sick of looking like an asshole. — Wesley Willis

The table was shocked. The entire class in fact. They'd heard tell of Civil War reenactments, but they were still occurring? The War Between the States was another time and another country. As was the South. Are barbers still surgeons? Is there still sharecropping? What about indoor plumbing? — T. Geronimo Johnson

No barber shaves so close but another finds worke. — George Herbert

I cut my own hair. I got sick of barbers because they talk too much. And too much of their talk was about my hair coming out. — Robert Frost

If you teach a poor young man to shave himself, and keep his razor in order, you may contribute more to the happiness of his life than in giving him a thousand guineas. This sum may be soon spent, the regret only remaining of having foolishly consumed it; but in the other case, he escapes the frequent vexation of waiting for barbers, and of their sometimes dirty fingers, offensive breaths, and dull razors. — Benjamin Franklin

If you keep walking past the barbers, eventually you'll get a haircut. — Paul Merson

I've always noticed that Old Families, like plumbers and barbers and possibly drummers and detectives, seem to have some kind of reciprocity arrangement in the South. Members of the freemasonry could move anywhere ... and still operate cozily in the local Old Family top drawer. — Celestine Sibley

You can find out a lot sitting in the barber's. — Dizzee Rascal

I must to the barber's, monsieur, for methinks I am marvellous hairy about the face. — William Shakespeare

Learn to take losses quickly and cleanly. There is something about inside information which seems to paralyze a man's reasoning powers. Beware of barbers, beauticians, waiters - or anyone - bringing gifts of 'inside' information or tips. Don't try to be a jack of all investment. Stick to the field you know best. — Bernard Baruch

The first (barbers) that entered Italy came out of Sicily and it was in the 454 yeare after the foundation of Rome. Brought in they were by P. Ticinius Mena as Verra doth report for before that time they never cut their hair. The first that was shaven every day was Scipio Africanus, and after cometh Augustus the Emperor who evermore used the razor. — Pliny The Elder

In the Middle Ages, bloodletting was often performed by barbers, which is why the traditional barber's pole - like the bloody towels that once hung outside barber shops - is colored red and white. — Cary McNeal

The ball sack is supposed to be wrinkly; they're not bloody worry lines! I can't believe there's a machine that fixes this. I don't even own an iron. Balls don't need ironing! They're like a shellsuit, they're meant to be crease-looking. And anyway, I've sat on them most of the time, so they'd only get creased again. As for getting your arse bleached, I don't know what to make out that. I couldn't tell you what mine looks like. If you showed five photos of various anuses, I couldn't pick mine out from a line-up. I never understood why barbers used to show me the back of my head in a mirror after a quick trim, so I certainly wouldn't worry about the colour of my anus. I'd say if you're worrying about the colour of your anus, things must be good, as you can't have proper worries in your life. — Karl Pilkington

At the age of fifteen he had bought off a twopenny stall in the market a duo-decimo book of recipes, gossip, and homilies, printed in 1605. His stepmother, able to read figures, had screamed at the sight of it when he had proudly brought it home. 1605 was 'the olden days', meaning Henry VIII, the executioner's axe, and the Great Plague. She thrust the book into the kitchen fire with the tongs, yelling that it must be seething with lethal germs. A limited, though live, sense of history. And history was the reason why she would never go to London. She saw it as dominated by the Bloody Tower, Fleet Street full of demon barbers, as well as dangerous escalators everywhere. — Anthony Burgess

Nurses nurse
and teachers teach
and tailors mend
and preachers preach
and barbers trim
and chauffeurs haul
and parents get to do it all. — Babs Bell Hajdusiewicz

Long hair minimizes the need for barbers; socks can be done without; one leather jacket solves the coat problem for many years; suspenders are superfluous. — Albert Einstein

With odorous oil thy head and hair are sleek; And then thou kemb'st the tuzzes on thy cheek: Of these, my barbers take a costly care. — John Dryden

Whatever you hear at the barber shop, stays at the barber shop. — Bernie Mac

Someone in my office suggested I get my haircut at New Millennium on Wilshire Blvd. It was so different from any place I had ever been; it was like a party. Everyone was laughing and having a good time and I heard the barbers talking about all of the celebs that get their hair cut there. When I went back, they were talking about other celebs that frequent businesses on Pico, Crenshaw and in Inglewood. We had been thinking about doing a game show then we said why not have it centered around all of the places that you don't think celebrities go. — Harvey Levin

The Barbers had said they would arrive by three. It was like waiting to begin — Sarah Waters

I'm no part time dilettante photographer, unlike the bartenders, shoe salesmen, floorwalkers plumbers, barbers, grocery clerks and chiropractors whose great hobby is their camera. All their friends rave about what wonderful pictures they take. If they're so good, why don't they take pictures full - time, for a living, and make floor walking, chiropractics, etc., their hobby? But everyone wants to play it safe. They're afraid to give up their pay checks and their security they might miss a meal. — Weegee

Also usually employed one or more resident physicians, barbers, priests, painters, musicians, minstrels, secretaries and copyists, an astrologer, a jester, and a dwarf, besides pages and squires. — Barbara W. Tuchman

A prating barber asked Archelaus how he would be trimmed. He answered, In silence. — Plutarch

When beggars and shoeshine boys, barbers and beauticians can tell you how to get rich it is time to remind yourself that there is no more dangerous illusion than the belief that one can get something for nothing. — Bernard Baruch

Tyrion: Careful now, Shagga, you've cut him.
Shagga: Dolf fathered warriors, not barbers. — George R R Martin

Like a barber's chair that fits all buttocks. — William Shakespeare

There are apothecaries' shops, where prepared medicines, liquids, ointments, and plasters are sold; barbers' shops, where they wash and shave the head; and restaurateurs, that furnish food and drink at a certain price. — Hernan Cortes

To make a fine gentleman, several trades are required, but chiefly a barber. — Oliver Goldsmith

I am sure the man who powders most, perfumes most, embroiders most, and talks most nonsense, is most admired. Though to be candid, there are some who have too much good sense to esteem such monkey-like animals as these, in whose formation, as the saying is, the tailors and barbers go halves with God Almighty. — Thomas Jefferson