Barant Quotes & Sayings

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Except for tattoos and STDs. — D.D. Barant

Never allow yourself to get caught without a loose million handy. — Nathan Rothschild, 1st Baron Rothschild

How ... how are you doing, Jace?" Dr. Pete manages.
"Holding on. Just barely. Charlie?"
Charlie's tone is almost conversational. "Kind of getting the urge to kill both of you.Think I'm gonna head back."
"Sure, okay, no problem."
"Yeah, yeah, good idea. You do that."
Charlie turns and trudges away. It's just Dr. Pete and me now. — D.D. Barant

Wait", I say. "That's-you-what?"
"That's what I love about working with you, Valchek. Your eloquence."
"But -but- but-"
"And your motorboat impressions."
"Charlie, if you were there, why didn't you arrest him? — D.D. Barant

I take one day off," he says, "and you almost get yourself killed."
"Almost being the operative word."
"Killed being the operative word. Almost is the word Killed used to beat up in high school. — D.D. Barant

Dr Adams was following my orders if you want to blame someone blame me -casius
oh i do,I'm just so pissed i had extra left over - Jace — D.D. Barant

I learned how to eat right and learned portion control and how to exercise. Staying persistent over the years, I have been able to change the way I'm perceived on the outside. — Kevin Schmidt

I look over at him. He stares straight ahead.
"So," I say. "Golem, huh?"
"I prefer the term 'Mineral-American. — D.D. Barant

Deep spirit scanning," Eisfanger says. His voice has a strange resonance to it, like I'm hearing him through a bad phone connection. "Don't worry, it's completely safe. Well, mostly."
"Mostly?"
"Side effects have been documented," he admits. "In a very small percentage of cases. Less than two percent."
"What kind of side effects?" Suddenly I'm feeling nauseous. Feels like the ants are crawling around inside me now, which is exactly as disturbing as it sounds.
"Memory loss. Synesthesia. And occasionally ... vestigial growths."
"So I could forget my own name, start smelling purple everywhere and have an extra nipple sprout from my forehead? — D.D. Barant

Is that a scanning electron microscope? "This'll do, pig, this'll do," I murmur.
"Excuse me?"
"Sorry. Film reference, wasn't meant as an insult."
"Ah. I see." His tone tells me he clearly doesn't. I briefly consider educating him, but explaining a movie
about a talking pig who wants to be a sheepdog to a Japanese vampire just isn't all that high on my to-do
list. — D.D. Barant

Why is it men think you have to accept an apology, just because one is offered? — D.D. Barant

Yeah? Feels like we just traded one set of rumors for another. We still have no idea where he is, what his plans are, or even what he looks like."
Patience, dear girl, patience."
Easy for you to say. You're immortal. — D.D. Barant

I talk better when I'm drinking coffee." "Me, too. If by coffee you mean beer, and by better you mean louder. — D.D. Barant

You can't do that kind of thing normally, but normal dumped without a note nearly a month ago. These days, I'll happily set fire to a bridge the second after I've crossed it - I don't plan on being around for the consequences to catch up with me. — D.D. Barant

Get down!" Azura yells. I have the bizarre urge to yell back, "Get funky!" but fortunately that part of my brain isn't in charge of my reflexes. — D.D. Barant

You might think that's selfish of me - and maybe it is - but I am a trained psychologist. No matter how depressed someone is, no matter how deep or unrelenting their pain may seem to be, there's always more to the picture. Situations change. Things get better. The human mind, no matter how stressed, still retains a capacity for joy. — D.D. Barant

I've got a bad case of the 3:00 am guilts - you know, when you lie in bed awake and replay all those things you didn't do right? Because, as we all know, nothing solves insomnia like a nice warm glass of regret, depression and self-loathing. — D.D. Barant

I don't do romance, in the same way I don't do heroin Russian roulette, or nude alligator wrestling. I consider all of the above self-destructive, and demeaning and these are things up with which I will not put. — D.D. Barant

What makes it difficult for people trying to follow a dream is that the whole time you feel like you're slamming your head against the wall. So it's nice to make a breakthrough and not kind of lying there with your head bleeding. — Lewis Black

We need a people's movement to end this war, ... We're going to ask them How many more of other people's children are you willing to sacrifice for the lies — Cindy Sheehan

You can't raise kids alone, you can't heal alone ... you really need a community. — Bryce Dallas Howard

I've never been that guy who says, 'Ooh, I have to play King Lear'. First off, that'd be a disaster anyway. I tend to read something and see who's involved, and then know I want to be part of it. But I don't think I'm through with comedy. I still love to make people laugh. — Ted Danson

My backup plan is to challenge Bearbreaker to single combat, defeat him, become Queen of the Zerkers and spend the rest of my life riding a giant motorcycle over frozen tundra. — D.D. Barant

We doing a traffic stop?"
"Yeah. I have a reasonable suspicion that we're witnessing a violation of the law."
"Which law?"
"I'll decide later. — D.D. Barant

How ... how are you doing, Jace?'
Holding on. Just barely. Charlie?'
Charlie's tone is almost conversational. 'Kind of getting the urge to kill both of you. Think I'm gonna head back.'
Sure, okay, no problem.'
Yeah, yeah, good idea. You do that. — D.D. Barant

I don't care if we're on our way to look at the dismembered corpse of the pope, I want coffee. — D.D. Barant

I'm in position." Charlie's voice, coming through my earpiece.
"Wish I could say the same. All the blood's rushing to my head."
"Thrope stuff?" Charlie sounds a little worried.
"No, I'm upside down."
"Why?"
"I thought it would make me look all cool and ninja-y."
"No one's supposed to be bale to see you."
"Ah. I knew there was a flaw in my plan. Also, i slipped."
"In fact, the whole point of being a ninja is not to be seen."
"Fortunately I have this nifty safety harness, which is why I'm dangling instead of plummeting. Thanks for asking. — D.D. Barant

What happens if I try to run?" I ask as the doors close. (jace)
"I'll stop you." (charlie)
"You don't look too quick." (jace)
"You'd be surprised." (charlie)
"I hate surprises." (jace)
"Then don't run. (charlie) — D.D. Barant

Most people need a reason to argue - you just need a place. — D.D. Barant

My Dear Mother, Please, Mum, read this letter and give me the chance to get to know you again. Mum, I love you and always will. You have been in my heart for forty years. All I remember was a funeral, then I was taken away. I was told you were dead. I will not forgive them for that. Please, Mum, write to me. Please give me the chance to prove to you that there is no hurt in me towards you. — Margaret Humphreys

Paranoia is just the bastard child of fear and good sense." (Charlie)
"Poor thing. Let's adopt it, give it a last name and raise it right." (Jace)
"You want to get it a puppy, too?"
"Sure. We'll call it Panic. It and little Paranoia can play together at the park and scare the hell out of all the other kids. — D.D. Barant