Bad Cooking Quotes & Sayings

Women try to leave, over and over they try to leave and the bad wolf brings them back and dumps them in a pot of boiling water, cooking their souls and frying their resolve until nothing is left. He promises to kill them if they don't stay. And when they stay, like good dogs, he'll beat them and rip their skins and break their bones but he won't kill them. Not usually. He reserves the knives and bullets, vans and screwdrivers for when she gets brave enough to take out a restraining order and show a little power. This infuriates him. He decides to put her in her place. Once and for all. That's just the way it is. The way it will always be. — Susan Reinhardt

Cooking is the great divide between good eating and bad. The gains are quantifiable. Cooking and eating at home - even with quality ingredients - costs pennies on the dollar compared with meals prepared by a restaurant or factory. — Barbara Kingsolver

Brother Gains wasn't the cook because he was good at cooking. He was just bad at everything else. — Mark Lawrence

Life is like a cooking pot. If you cook something good, you well get something tasty. If you cook something bad, you will get something bad. — Debasish Mridha

In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad. — Friedrich Nietzsche

How do you go to your own house when something has gone bad on the inside, when it doesn't seem like your place to live anymore, when you almost cannot recall living there although it was the place you mostly ate and slept for all your grown-up life? Try to remember two or three things about living there. Try to remember cooking one meal. — William Kittredge

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. — Phyllis Diller

Instead of going out to dinner, buy good food. Cooking at home shows such affection. In a bad economy, it's more important to make yourself feel good. — Ina Garten

The stock market has spoiled more appetites than bad cooking. — Will Rogers

Currently, the scent of rising dough and hot berries was being sucked through the old air-conditioning unit and spread throughout the main house. This was Lisette's rebellion. She was cooking for guests who weren't coming. It was as if nothing bad could happen if she just kept going. Like a wheel in motion, she seemed to think no one could stop her, or make her leave, once she started. — Sarah Addison Allen

The Gems did not nag or complain, did not get periods or PMT, did not get pregnant, did not get body odour or hair, did not have discharge or bad breath, no shit or urine, did not get spots, did not suffer from diseases or headaches, did not have annoying bad habits, never farted, belched, vomited or picked their noses, did not need drugs or alcohol, did not need gifts such as jewellery, flowers, chocolate and money, did not need to shop, did not have piercings or tattoos, had no capacity to willingly lie or be fake, were never disloyal, were always eager to do any task required by their owner, sexual or non-sexual, did all the housework and cooking without complaint, were produced in the form of the perfect woman in the eyes of each client, did not constantly require their man to tell them they loved them, but most of all they did not age. — Robert Black

America is just so weird in what they think is right and wrong. Like, I was watching 'Breaking Bad' the other day, and they were cooking meth. I could literally cook meth because of that show. It's a how-to. And then they bleeped out the word 'fk'. And I'm like, really? They killed a guy, and disintegrated his body in acid, but you're not allowed to say 'fk'? It's like when they bleeped 'molly' at the VMAs. Look what I'm doing up here right now, and you're going to bleep out 'molly'? — Miley Cyrus

Once again, there was a terrorist attack inside my mouth. — Namekojirushi

There is not a good or a bad cuisine, just the one you like the best. — Ferran Adria

That time period is clearly a season of holidays. A holiday season. No matter what faith you belong to or what tradition you follow, everyone is partying. You're shopping, you're cooking, you're getting together with family, you're eating food that's bad for you, you're eating more food that's bad for you, and of course you're eating food that's bad for you. — Jim Gaffigan

Bad cooks - and the utter lack of reason in the kitchen - have delayed human development longest and impaired it most. — Friedrich Nietzsche

I am here to arrest your manservant. The one named Bugg.'
'Oh, now really, his cooking isn't that bad. — Steven Erikson

Cooking wasn't so bad, I thought. In fact, it was a lot like sex. Sometimes it didn't seem like such a good idea in the beginning, but then after you got into it ... — Janet Evanovich

[Our family is] a wonderfully messy arrangement, in which relationships overlap, underlie, support, and oppose one another. It didn't always come together easily nor does it always stay together easily. It's known very good times and very bad ones. It has held together, often out of shared memories and hopes, sometimes out of the lure of my sisters' cooking, and sometimes out of sheer stubbornness. And like the world itself, our family is renewed by each baby. — Margaret Kennedy

I had a lot of disasters in the kitchen, even during the long period when I was cooking under my mother's supervision and with the benefit of her experience. I still fail all the time, in particular when I turn to baking. After hundreds of attempts, following dozens of different formulas, I don't think I have ever made what I would consider to be a completely successful pie crust. Disaster is somehow part of the appeal of cooking for me. If that first Velvet Crumb Cake had turned out to be a flop, I don't know if I would have pursued my interest in cooking. But cooking entails stubbornness and a tolerance
maybe even a taste
for last-minute collapse. You have to be able to enjoy the repeated and deliberate following of a more of less lengthy, more or less complicated series of steps whose product is very likely
after all that work, with no warning, right at the end
to curdle, sink, scorch, dry up, congeal, burn, or simply taste bad. — Michael Chabon

She glared down at the pan. And then she kicked it. The first kick sent it tumbling a couple of feet; something black and gooey came out. The second kick got better distance, maybe because it wasn't as heavy now. Evidently unsatisfied, she advanced on one of the pickups and grabbed a hammer from the back. Going down on one knee, she swung the hammer for all she was worth and beat the hell out of that pan, then she got up and kicked it one more time for good measure.
"Damn," Walt muttered. "I'm not ever going to say a single bad thing about her cooking.
"Yeah," Eli muttered in return. "No matter what it is, I'll eat it or die. Even that cake."
"More like, eat it and die," Patrick put in. — Linda Howard

The first time I was cooking for my wife, Stephanie, way before she was my wife, I actually put three chickens on the rotisserie and I closed the grill, which is really a bad idea. But I just wasn't thinking very straight that day. And I looked outside and I saw, like, smoke and flames. — Bobby Flay

Your aim's as bad as your cooking sweetheart ... and that's saying something! — John Smith

What I like about cooking is that, so long as you follow the recipe exactly, everything always turns out perfect. It's too bad there's no recipe for happiness. Happiness is more like pastry - which is to say that you can take pains to keep cool and not overwork the dough, but if you don't have that certain light touch, your best efforts still fall flat.
The work-around is to buy what you need. I'm talking about pastry, not happiness, although money does make things easier all around. — Josh Lanyon

My wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens — Rodney Dangerfield

I think people are intimidated by grilling .. maybe it's the flame, maybe it's the big grills, maybe they've had some bad childhood experiences .. but I think that grilling is actually the easiest technique in cooking. — Bobby Flay

You should have tried the eggplant parmesan she tried to hoist on me at the church bake sale. No wonder her children turned to Satan. He probably showed up as an angel of light and promised them a decent meal. — Kathy Hepinstall

Would it really be so bad if you slowed your life down even a teensy bit? If you took charge of the ingredients of your food instead of letting corporations stuff you and your family, like baby birds, full of sugar, corn products, chemicals, and meat from really, really unhappy animals? — Catherine Friend

Listening to a woman is almost as bad as losing to one. There are only three things that women are better at than men: cleaning, cooking, and having sex. — Charles Barkley

I would love to do a cookery show and cookery books. I'm not a professional cook, but I can definitely cook. I know the difference between good and bad cooking. I mean, when I was in 'Big Brother' I was the glorified cook of the house, so if I got offered my own show - then why not? — Shilpa Shetty

Let me start with a confession: I don't enjoy cooking. The reason I usually do it at home is not because I'm a New Man or Jamie Oliver disciple, but because my wife's cooking is so bad. In fact, to me, cooking is less a pleasurable pastime than a defense against poisoning. — Mark Barrowcliffe

Celery as celery was bad. Celery fried was the work of Satan. — Kristen Ashley

The hotel which had had the bad luck to draw Aunt Agatha's custom was the Splendide, and by the time I got there there wasn't a member of the staff who didn't seem to be feeling it deeply. I sympathized with them. I've had experience of Aunt Agatha at hotels before. Of course, the real rough work was all over when I arrived, but I could tell by the way everyone grovelled before her that she had started by having her first room changed because it hadn't a southern exposure and her next because it had a creaking wardrobe and that she had said her say on the subject of the cooking, the waiting, the chambermaiding and everything else, with perfect freedom and candour. She had got the whole gang nicely under control by now. The manager, a whiskered cove who looked like a bandit, simply tied himself into knots whenever she looked at him. — P.G. Wodehouse

Alice wondered if her mother was aware that she wasn't the only one in town who'd come down with a bad case of Blueberry Fever. — Sarah Weeks

Well, every art requires appreciation, doesn't it? I mean people who paint, sculpt, or write books want an audience. that's the reason they're doing it for, and it's the same when you're a cook. You need somebody who savours it, not one who just says, 'Oh it's not bad. — Margaret Powell

Bad cooking is responsible for more trouble at sea than all other things put together. — Thomas Fleming Day

Living alone is good for privacy, bad for full-scale cooking and moving heavy furniture. — Mason Cooley

There are some forms of religion that are bad, just as there's bad cooking or bad art or bad sex, you have bad religion too. — Karen Armstrong

Somewhere lives a bad Cajun cook, just as somewhere must live one last ivory-billed woodpecker. For me, I don't expect ever to encounter either one. — William Least Heat-Moon

Warning: This book contains graphic language, sex, lies, intrigue, clowns, kleptomania, anal sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation, bad driving, good cooking, and the missing head of a Justin Timberlake statue. Not for the sour of disposition. — L.B. Gregg

Never taste or consume food that looks or smells contaminated or even slightly questionable. If the food item or drink has foam on top, if the item continuously bubbles from within, or a bad small emanates from it during cooking or preparing you should discard it right away. — Susan Burnetter

I love being at home now, improving my cooking. I've got a really bad memory, so my first attempts were a disaster - I'd forget what ingredients to put in. But I do a lasagna that's a crowd-pleaser, and a good lemon drizzle cake, which I take to my mom's for the Sunday roast to fatten the family up. — Katy B

My cooking philosophy, what I try to do, is to make a cuisine where the produce and the product shines, compared to some current trends that are maybe more adding additional things, like molecular cuisine, with a lot of additives and chemicals, which are now showing that they could be bad for your health. — Joel Robuchon

You're shopping, you're cooking, you're getting together with family, you're eating food that's bad for you, you're eating more food that's bad for you, and of course you're eating food that's bad for you. Holidays are also an opportunity for — Jim Gaffigan

Directing is like cooking, it's like cuisine. You cannot make a great dish with bad ingredients. I have great actors, and I'm putting them together. That's all I'm doing. — Louis Leterrier

Looks delicious," he lied. "A mite crispy along the edges - but then, I like it that way."
Incredulous eyes met his own. "You like your potatoes burned?"
Ah, so he'd been right about that. If he could still recognize what it was she'd cooked, then surely he could eat it. — Tracy Anne Warren

How bad do you want cancer? Bad enough to eat a rainbow of it? Personally, I think the red cancer would be the worst, but anything you swallow with artificial hues in it is going to pop a tumor out of your body the day after you eat it. — Laurie Notaro

So, how bad of an idea is it to go there? On a scale of cooking-whithout-a-shirt to being-an-evil-priest-in-an-Alexandre-Dumas-book? — Michael R. Underwood

I like cooking but I don't know much and whenever I enter the kitchen, my mother sends me out! Because whenever I try a dish from a book, it comes out bad. — Soundarya

There's no way I'm going to stand up for bad ingredients. We love seasonal ingredients. It's a false dichotomy to say that modern cooking is at odds with that, but some people want to have a great ingredient and no technique. — Nathan Myhrvold

I had a passion for cooking, and I was a very bad student. — Eric Ripert

One day, when my son was eight, he came into the kitchen while I was cooking and said: 'You put bad words in your books, don't you?' No doubt he had overheard my mother, who often tells people who ask about my work: 'Well, you'll never find her books in the Christian bookstore.' — Jill McCorkle