Baboon Quotes & Sayings

I blinked the sleep out of my eyes and realized my head was in Khufu's lap. The baboon was foraging my scalp for munchies. "Dude." I sat up groggily. "Not cool." "But he gave you a lovely hairdo," Sadie said. "Agh-agh!" Khufu agreed. — Rick Riordan

But Hitler is not tranquil. His right eardrum was ruptured in the bomb blast during the assassination attempt and has only recently stopped bleeding. That same blast hurled him to a concrete floor, bruising his buttocks "as blue as a baboon's behind" and filling his legs with wooden splinters as it ripped his black uniform pants to shreds. However, — Bill O'Reilly

The President is no more than a well-meaning baboon. I went to the White House directly after tea, where I found "The Original Gorilla", about as intelligent as ever. What a specimen to be at the head of our affairs now. — George B. McClellan

The hamadryas baboon is a harem holder where one male mates with multiple females. — Frans De Waal

Right," I said. "So the baboon, the crocodile ... any other pets I should know about?"
Amos thought for a moment. "Visible ones? No, I think that's it. — Rick Riordan

Our descent, then, is the origin of our evil passions!! The devil under form of Baboon is our grandfather. — Charles Darwin

Atop a replica of the scales of justice sat a golden baboon, which Khufu immediately started flirting with. There — Rick Riordan

We don't know very well those we love But I understand them fairly well Being all these people myself I who am however but a baboon. — Max Jacob

If the press really thinks Obama is Lincoln, they ought to treat him like they treated Bush, 'cause that's how they treated Lincoln. His critics compared Lincoln to an ape; they called him an illiterate baboon. — Ann Coulter

We were alone in a strange mansion with a baboon, a crocodile, and a weird cat. And apparently, the entire world was in danger.
I looked at Sadie. What do we do now? — Rick Riordan

Suddenly, I get this giddy desire to shock these guys a little. I continue, "These baboons really are our relatives. In fact, this baboon is my cousin." And with that I lean over and give Daniel a loud messy kiss on his big ol' nose. I get more of a response than I bargained for. The Masai freak and suddenly, they are waving their spears real close to my face, like they mean it. One is yelling, "He is not your cousin, he is not your cousin! A baboon cannot even cook ugali!" (Ugali is the ubiquitous and repulsive maize meal that everyone eats here. I almost respond that I don't really know how to cook the stuff either, but decide to show some prudence at last.) "He is not your cousin! — Robert M. Sapolsky

In the Baboon community, it is not how strong you are that is important, but who you know that counts — David Attenborough

Just my luck, on top of everything else I had to take baboon medicine. — Rick Riordan

I had never planned to become a savanna baboon when I grew up; instead, I had always assumed I would become a mountain gorilla. — Robert M. Sapolsky

Out my left, I saw baboon bum, out my right, my long-lost uncle Amos. Naturally, I decided to focus on the right. — Rick Riordan

Apophis the god of Chaos Anubis the god of funerals and death Babi the baboon god Bast the cat goddess Bes the dwarf god Disturber a god of judgement who works for Osiris Geb the earth god Gengen-Wer the goose god Hapi the god of the Nile Heket the frog goddess Horus the war god, son of Isis and Osiris Isis the goddess of magic, wife of her brother Osiris and mother of Horus Khepri the scarab god, Ra's aspect in the morning Khonsu the moon god Mekhit minor lion goddess, married to Onuris Neith the hunting goddess Nekhbet the vulture goddess Nut the sky goddess Osiris the god of the Underworld, husband of Isis and father of Horus Ra the sun god, the god of order; also known as Amun-Ra Sekhmet the lion goddess Serqet the scorpion goddess Set the god of evil Shu the air god, great-grandfather of Anubis Sobek the crocodile god Tawaret the hippo goddess Thoth the god of knowledge — Rick Riordan

One such monster lived around 600 B.C. and was the slave of a Greek nobleman named Iadmon who lived on Samos. This unfortunate was a hunchback described as having "an enormous head with slit eyes, a long, misshaped countenance, a large mouth and bowed legs." A servant girl meeting him asked in horror, "Are you a baboon?" Because he was cut off from humanity by his revolting appearance, this monster made friends with animals. He told numerous short tales with animal heroes illustrating the weaknesses of people. His stories were so biting and his looks so disgusting that he was finally killed by a mob. His name was Aesop. — Daniel P. Mannix

You are one freaking awesome baboon. — Rick Riordan

What are you gonna do for a face when the baboon wants his ass back? — Abraham Lincoln

Holmes was for the moment as startled as I. His hand closed like a vice upon my wrist in his agitation. Then he broke into a low laugh and put his lips to my ear.

"It is a nice household," he murmured. "That is the baboon. — Arthur Conan Doyle

Medicine is magical and magical is art, the boy in the bubble, and the baby with the baboon heart. — Paul Simon

I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick. — J.K. Rowling

There once was a brainy baboon,
Who always breathed down a bassoon,
For he said, It appears
That in billions of years
I shall certainly hit on a tune. — Arthur Eddington

Babi (alt. spelling Baba) is a bloodthirsty Baboon God. — Patrick Auerbach

If a weaker baboon be attacked by a stronger baboon the weaker baboon will either (a) present his hrump fanny I believe is the word, gentlemen, heh heh for passive intercourse or (b) if he is a different type baboon more extrovert and well-adjusted, lead an attack on an even weaker baboon if he can find one. — William S. Burroughs

Our baboon was going completely sky goddess - which is to say, nuts. — Rick Riordan

Physics, my friend, is a narrow path drawn across a gulf that the human imagination cannot grasp. It is a set of answers to certain questions that we put to the world, and the world supplies the answers on the condition that we will not then ask it other questions, questions shouted out by common sense. And common sense? It is that which is understood by an intelligence using senses no different from those of a baboon. Such an intelligence wishes to know the world in terms that apply to its terrestrial, biological niche. But the world - outside that niche, that incubator of sapient apes - has properties that one cannot take in hand, see, sniff, gnaw, listen to, and in this way appropriate. — Stanislaw Lem

Mad' sounds dashing, daring and admirable when you hold the tattered flag in the midst of battle and expired natives lie all over the carpet with holes in 'em that you put there. 'Mad' is less impressive written on a form by a commissioner of lunacy as you're turned over to the hospitallers of St Mary of Bedlam to be dunked in ice water because your latest 'scrape' was running starkers down Oxford Street while gibbering like a baboon. — Kim Newman

The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon. — Dov Davidoff

Did you hear that?" the duke asked with a wide grin, turning to Dare. "She said 'papa.'"
The viscount returned the candy dish and tea tray to the relocated end table. "I distinctly heard
'baboon.'"
"Hm, well, you're distinctly deaf. — Suzanne Enoch

It had always been a notion of mine that sanity is like a clearing in the jungle where the humans agree to meet from time to time and behave in certain fixed ways that even a baboon could master, like Englishmen dressing for dinner in the tropics. — Wilfrid

So my heart goes out to them. Figuratively. I would never actually entrust my heart to scientists - they'd probably implant it in a baboon. And a baboon with my heart would be practically unstoppable. Baboon strength and agility combined with my determination and media savvy? It would be a threat to all of humanity. — Stephen Colbert

If you can write each day, do it, and meet a quota. Minimum 350 words a day. A baboon can do 350 words a day. Don't be shown up by a baboon — James Scott Bell

It is the assumption of this book that there is a typical human nature. It is the aim of this book to seek it. Just like a surgeon, a psychiatrist can make all sorts of basic assumptions when a patient lies down upon the couch. He can assume that the patient knows what it means to love, to envy, to trust, to think, to speak, to fear, to smile, to bargain, to covet, to dream, to remember, to sing, to quarrel, to lie. The 'smile' of a baboon is a threat; the smile of a man is a sign of pleasure: it is human nature, the world over. — Matt Ridley

the fallen of the baboon into the river is the risen of the joy of the crocodile. Though the crocodile becomes happy, it conceals its joy until it deploys all its necessary deft and strength to take captive of the Baboon — Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

I'll make Goyle do lines, it'll kill him, he hates writing," said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle's low grunt and, screwing up his face in a look of pained concentration, mimed writing in midair. "I ... must ... not ... look ... like ... a ... baboon's ... backside. — J.K. Rowling

Hello, darling. Did Fulton leave?" "Yes," Emma answered, smoothing her skirts before she sat in the chair opposite Chloe's. "Good. I can't think what you see in that lumbering baboon." Emma was used to Chloe's blunt opinions, and she was unruffled. Indeed, there were times when she herself thought Fulton rather awkward. "He's a gentleman," she said, overlooking the fact that she'd had to spear the man with an embroidery needle to make him remove his hands from her person. — Linda Lael Miller

Lookin up at the huge baboons, I wondered if Khufu had some sort of secret baboon code that would get us in. But instead he barked at the statues and cowered heroically behind my legs. — Rick Riordan

We must protect them (animals) and this land. If the animals die, this land dies. If this land dies, we die. — Diane Van Der Westhuizen

Grandma Ruthie and her sister Jettie hadn't spoken a civil word in about fifteen years. Their last exchange was Ruthie's leaning over Jettie's coffin and whispering, "If you'd married and had children, there would be more people at your funeral." Of course, at the reading of Aunt Jettie's will, Grandma Ruthie was handed an enveloped containing a carefully folded high-resolution picture of a baboon's butt. That pretty much summed up their relationship. — Molly Harper

If you live in a baboon troop in the Serengeti, you only have to work three hours a day for your calories, and predators don't mess with you much. What that means is you've got nine hours of free time every day to devote to generating psychological stress toward other animals in your troop. So the baboon is a wonderful model for living well enough and long enough to pay the price for all the social-stressor nonsense that they create for each other. They're just like us: They're not getting done in by predators and famines, they're getting done in by each other. — Robert M. Sapolsky

One thing that man HAS learned from history, is how to kill (animals) more efficiently. — Diane Van Der Westhuizen

You bit me? (Stryker)
We use what we have. (Zephyra)
That's such a girl move. (Stryker)
But it works. Maybe if you fought like a girl and not a stunted baboon, you'd actually win. (Zephyra) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Before beginning this treatise, he wanted the advice of The Baboon, his philosophy prof. "Excuse me, sir," he said at the end of a class, "could anyone claim that we don't exist?" The Baboon said no. "Goghito," he said, "ergo zum. You exist because you doubt your existence. — Jean-Paul Sartre

A baboon in a forest is a matter of legitimate speculation; a baboon in a zoo is an object of public curiosity; but a baboon in your wife's bed is a cause of the gravest concern. — Winston S. Churchill

The baboon is driving," I noted. "Should I be worried? — Rick Riordan

This was all strictly run-of-the-mill Victorian patter, striking only for the fact that a man who had so exerted himself to see the world afresh had returned with such stock observations. (And, really, very little has changed; one need only lightly edit the foregoing passages - the crude caricatures, the question of human inferiority, and the bit about the baboon - to produce the sort of profile of misbegotten Africa that remains standard to this day in the American and European press, and in the appeals for charity donations put out by humanitarian aid organizations.) — Philip Gourevitch

For my own part I would as soon be descended from that heroic little monkey, who braved his dreaded enemy in order to save the life of his keeper; or from that old baboon, who, descending from the mountains, carried away in triumph his young comrade from a crowd of astonished dogs - as from a savage who delights to torture his enemies, offers up bloody sacrifices, practices infanticide without remorse, treats his wives like slaves, knows no decency, and is haunted by the grossest superstitions. — Charles Darwin

Agh-uhh! the baboon grunted. He turned and waddled up the stairs. Unfortunately, the Lakers jersey didn't completely cover his multicolored rear. — Rick Riordan

Amos clapped his hands. "Khufu!"
I thought he'd sneezed, because Khufu is a weird name, but then a little dude about three feet tall with gold fur and a purple shirt came clambering down the stairs. It took me a second to realize it was a baboon wearing an L.A. Lakers jersey. — Rick Riordan

We're not going to die," I promised my mates. "Emma, hold my staff." "Your - Oh, right." She took the staff gingerly as if I'd handed her a rocket launcher, which I suppose it could've been with the proper spell. "Liz," I ordered, "watch the baboon." "Watching the baboon," she said. "Rather hard to miss the baboon. — Rick Riordan

I believe that there are no innate, intrinsic differences among a human being , a baboon or a grain of sand. — Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

[Footnote:] The Chameleon's face reminded Aristotle of a Baboon. Aristotle wasn't much of a looker himself. — Will Cuppy

That was the trouble with formulating a system: what could you do but repeat it? — Peter Washington

I went to the animals' fair, The birds and the beasts were there, The old baboon By the light of the moon Was combing his auburn hair; The monkey he got drunk, And fell on the elephant's trunk, The elephant sneezed And fell on his knees - And what became of the monkety-monk? — James M. Cain

Should five slaves dictate to a king? If five baboons bark, must the black-maned lion tremble? — Wilbur Smith

He went to India with his capital, and there, according to a wild legend in our family, he was once seen riding on an elephant, in company with a Baboon; but I think it must have been a Baboo - or a Begum. Anyhow, from India tidings of his death reached home, within ten years. How they affected my aunt, nobody knew; for immediately upon the separation, she took her maiden name again, bought a cottage in a hamlet on the sea-coast a long way off, established herself there as a single woman with one servant, and was understood to live secluded, — Charles Dickens

For years I believed they loved me for my voice, my stage presence, my courageous life. 'Incomparable,' they said. 'Divine.' I am the goddesses on the ceilings of the antechambers at Versailles, the statues in the gardens. That's what they see in me. The huntress. The peacemaker. The Amazon. The Muse. Victory. Glory. War. I am divine. But now I wonder if I was anything more than some exotic creature in the King's pleasure gardens - not a lion, and surely not a baboon, but perhaps - yes - a giraffe. Unlikely. Ungainly. Unique. Beautiful in parts but not particularly attractive as a concept. Alien. But compelling, nevertheless. — Kelly Gardiner

Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts. — Will Cuppy