Aziz Comedy Quotes & Sayings

How do you know when a lead singer's knocking at your door?" he asked. "He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in. — Kelly Oram

With stand-up, I can have an idea, go down the street to a comedy club and work on it, flesh it out, book a venue, people will come, then film it. I do all that myself; I never have to answer to anybody. — Aziz Ansari

I played myself in an Aziz Ansari comedy, and that was funny to see how they saw me ... flowing scarves and a flourish of pink! Eek! — Colin Salmon

My dad grew up basically in a hut in Taiwan without enough food to eat. And within one generation his son in America gets to do a comedy show about whatever he wants. — Aziz Ansari

Freya, I killed a man. — Kate Lord Brown

Other than friends and family, my favorite things are New York and stand-up. I love doing comedy in New York - I can do way more stand-up here than in Los Angeles. — Aziz Ansari

I can't think of any bank robbery comedy where it's about two normal guys. It's kind of like Superbad meets Heat, which is a cool combo, and it's just fun doing a normal guy that's robbing a bank. — Aziz Ansari

London seems to be a town with a lot of comedy fans and people that really enjoy stand-up. — Aziz Ansari

Correct your mistake as soon as you have found it. — Sun Tzu

Some comedians will tour and do these classic bits all the time. But now with YouTube and Comedy Central, people see your stuff, and they don't want to hear you do that again. — Aziz Ansari

Every time I've done comedy in, like, traditional comedy clubs, there's always these comedians that do really well with audiences but that the other comedians hate because they're just, you know, doing kind of cheap stuff like dancing around or doing, like, very kind of base sex humor a lot, and stuff like that. — Aziz Ansari

Stand-up comedy is a raunchy profession. — Aziz Ansari

When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour. I try to eat at all the weird places, the obscure barbecue joints, burger places. There are a few spots in L.A. that I'm obsessed with - one of them is the Taco Zone taco truck on Alvarado. There are secret off-menu items that are amazing. — Aziz Ansari

I think television has had a vast, unbelievable impact on us. — Billy Graham

Throughout history, fairly arbitrary lines drawn on maps have determined who prospers and who needs, who eats and who starves, who attacks and who is attacked, who lives long and who dies young. Oh, we have been slaves to those lines for so long ... — Gavin De Becker

Do you know what a balance wheel is?" She shook her head slightly. "There's one in every clock or watch. It rotates back and forth without stopping. It's what makes the ticking sound ... what makes the hands move forward to mark the minutes. Without it, the watch wouldn't work. You're my balance wheel, Poppy." -Harry Rutledge — Lisa Kleypas

It's hard to really get that excited about movies. Think about it like this: how many good comedy movies come out a year? Maybe one or two? And then, in those movies, what are the chances that there's a character that I'm the best fit to play? It's really small! — Aziz Ansari