Audited Quotes & Sayings

I'm hideously shy as myself, but on stage I can run around naked and bite the heads off fish. — Laurie Metcalf

Oh God, Tessie... That is my daughter... And the next person who tries to get between my and my daughter is going to rue their existence on this earth... Every secret you've been keeping will find its way out. Every decision you make will be questioned. You will be audited, investigated, and transferred to the most hellish nightmare of a desk job I can find. Now, get out of my way. - Ivy — Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Do you know who will be in charge of health care? The IRS. You thought getting audited was bad? Wait until your next prostate exam. — Jay Leno

After watching Taro reach the brink of bankruptcy, seeing their shares delisted from trading, hearing endless false promises about receiving audited financial statements, and witnessing an unchecked drain of company resources, the shareholders have clearly had enough. — Dilip Shanghvi

Mrs. B's story is well-known but worth telling again. She came to the United States 77 years ago, unable to speak English and devoid of formal schooling. In 1937, she founded the Nebraska Furniture Mart with $500. Last year the store had sales of $200 million, a larger amount by far than that recorded by any other home furnishings store in the United States. Our part in all of this began ten years ago when Mrs. B sold control of the business to Berkshire Hathaway, a deal we completed without obtaining audited financial statements, checking real estate records, or getting any warranties. In short, her word was good enough for us. Naturally, I was delighted to attend Mrs. B's birthday party. After all, she's promised to attend my 100th. — Warren Buffett

I will absolutely give my [tax] return, but I'm being audited now for two or three years, so I can't do it until the audit is finished, obviously. — Donald Trump

most of the NRIs are not a working partner or a proprietor of an audited business, the due date would be July 31 of the assessment year. Thus, for — Jigar Patel

I think primary voters have a right to know. And Donald's Trump excuse of it that he's being audited, look, that makes it even more important for him to release his taxes, so that voters can see if there is - Mitt Romney suggested there could be a bombshell there. I don't know if there is or not. But Donald is hiding them from the voters, and I think he owes candor to the voters. — Ted Cruz

I've been audited for many, many years in a row, which I think is unfair, but that's the way it is. — Donald Trump

Obama recently warned some college graduates against being all worried about government tyranny, and Obama has good reason to warn you against that because worrying about government tyranny is the exact sort of thing that will get you audited. Or, when Obamacare is in full force, it will be the attitude that gets you denied life saving health care. So have faith in government. Or it will get you. — Frank J. Fleming

I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke, but I
don't want to get audited by the IRS. — Jay Leno

I've been stabbed before. Barely a week ago, in fact. AND I've been audited, AND I come from a broken home. In short - no offense, shorty - you don't scare me. — MaryJanice Davidson

Most Americans have no real understanding of the operation of the international money lenders. The accounts of the Federal Reserve System have never been audited. It operates outside the control of Congress and manipulates the credit of the United States — Barry M. Goldwater

I'm interested in the way language is used to navigate the world around us. — John Burnside

I will never say never, but I will say never to doing the more typical romantic comedies. You know, unless I'm getting audited and I'm on the street and I desperately need some dough and that's the only thing that I'm getting. — Christian Bale

And something inside the young man cracked. The small compartment in the back of his mind, where man closets his fears, ties them up, controls and commands them, broke open and they surged across brain and nerves and muscles - a nightmare flood in open rebellion. — Rod Serling

She has carefully audited her life and found she has no requirement for a husband. — Helen Smith

Remember folks, always be careful when you're out at night! Lotsa crazee things go on out there! — Arnold Arre

The Federal Reserve ranks among the most transparent central banks. We publish a summary of our balance sheet every week. Our financial statements are audited annually by an outside auditor and made public. Every security we hold is listed on the website of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York. — Janet Yellen

He [Donald Trump] said in the debate - he said, gosh, I'm being audited for two years. Then he said three years. Then he said maybe five years.Listen, if there's a problem in his taxes, the voters have a right to know, because come September, October, the general election, folks in the media are going to make a heyday about any problems in his taxes. — Ted Cruz

When you're under audit, you don't give your papers. An audit is - I have been under audit for so many years. Every year, I get audited. For, I think, over 10 years, maybe even 12 years, I have been audited. And I think it's very fair. And I think I'm being singled out. — Donald Trump

It has been reported that Rudolph Giuliani has trademarked the name 'Rudolph Giuliani' so other candidates can't use his name in negative campaign ads ... For similar reasons, Hillary Clinton has trademarked the words 'ballbuster,' 'castrater,' and 'nutcruncher.' — Conan O'Brien

Most voters would rather have their purse or wallet stolen than be audited by the IRS. — Frank Luntz

I have friends that are very wealthy, and I said, do you get audited? They don't even know what I'm talking about. They have never been audited. Why am I audited every single year? And until the audit is completed, obviously, I wouldn't show anything. I will show it as soon as it's completed. I have nothing to hide. — Donald Trump

The 1911 pistol remains the service pistol of choice in the eyes of those who understand the problem. Back when we audited the FBI academy in 1947, I was told that I ought not to use my pistol in their training program because it was not fair. Maybe the first thing one should demand of his sidearm is that it be unfair. — Jeff Cooper

Yet the drive to assess the performance of workers and to measure forms of labor which, by their nature, are resistant to quantification, has inevitably required additional layers of management and bureaucracy. What we have is not a direct comparison of workers' performance or output, but a comparison between the audited representation of that performance and output. Inevitably, a short-circuiting occurs, and work becomes geared towards the generation and massaging of representations rather than to the official goals of the work itself. — Mark Fisher

Softly, deftly, music shall caress you. Hear it, feel it, Secretly possess you. — Charles Hart

I learned a lot of good things in my school. I've audited a lot of other schools, and I guess after a while I got a little tired of the acting school atmosphere. — James Franco

A board of directors that cannot produce reliable audited financial statements for almost seven years simply should not remain in office. — Dilip Shanghvi

A person who is confident and capable
will never feel insecure. — Abhishek Ratna

Wisdom is finding out that a cobra is deadly; without first having to lose one's life. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

I always say to my people, how come I'm always audited and friends of mine are never audited? — Donald Trump