Attitude Humor Quotes & Sayings

Allan looked at the bus and then at the suitcase, then again at the bus and then again at the suitcase. It has wheels, he said to himself. And there's a strap to pull it by too. And then Allan surprised himself by making what - you have to admit - was decision to say 'yes' to life.
p.12. — Jonas Jonasson

I'm a savant when it comes to character judgment," he tells her. "For instance, most people wouldn't see anything in you besides attitude and a need for stronger deodorant, but I think you can handle the storks almost as well as Connor handled the Graveyard."
Bam gives him a halfhearted glare. "Can you ever give a compliment without also making it an insult?"
"No," he admits. "Not possible. It's the essence of my charm. — Neal Shusterman

I can remember the times when I started including humor in novels that were suspenseful. I was told you can't do that because you can't keep the audience in suspense if they're laughing. My attitude was, if the character has a sense of humor, then that makes the character more real because that's how we deal with the vicissitudes of life, we deal with it through humor. — Dean Koontz

Irritatingly angry people have no sense of humor when wearing their "angry pants. — Cathy Burnham Martin

A lot of people don't see me as a funny character because I don't usually get to play them. I'm usually cast in the more dramatic roles, so it's been a really, really fun time playing her humor and her attitude. She's a complete tomboy, so I did a really intense study on men and how they relate to each other, in the way they walk and hold themselves and position themselves in the hierarchy, just in something as simple as a conversation. — Angie Harmon

Danger: Attitude subject to change without notice. — Darynda Jones

When I write, it feels like there are two little creatures that sit on each of my shoulders. One whispers, "You can do this. You've got what it takes." The other sounds like my mother-in-law. — Carla H. Krueger

If your a fly, fly away — Connor Smith

Humor today goes hand in hand with our rationality, and not just rationality in the sense of cognitive sophistication, but also in the sense of a rational attitude toward the world. Part of this attitude is viewing things critically, and people with a well developed sense of humor naturally look at things critically, because they are looking for incongruity. — John Morreall

Sorry, I got hung up or I'd have been here earlier. I made sure I made it for closing, though. I didn't want the streets to suffer if you walked alone."
A glance at him showed his lips twitching. Humor, a new facet to my knight in leather armor; one I liked, given my oftentimes sarcastic attitude towards life. He wore the same leather duster of the previous evening, and, once again, I enviously admired it. Unable to resist, I reached out a hand and stroked its supple surface, feeling a thrill that my hand strayed so close to his actual body. "It's so soft," I murmured.
"Not for long, if you keep stroking it," he drawled. — Eve Langlais

Are you in any way qualified?
Yes? No? It doesn't matter. In America, "Qualification" is simply an attitude. I've adopted it. So, yes. I am qualified. — Eugene Mirman

Sometimes people are often confused between attitude and style. Nevermind, I'm Awesome. — Yugesh Ralli

Howl backed into the door to shut it and leaned there in a tragic attitude. "Look at you all!" he said. "Ruin stares me in the face. I slave all day for you. And not one of you, even Calcifer, can spare time to say hello!"
Calcifer said, "I never do say hello."
"Is something wrong?" asked Sophie.
"That's better," Howl said. "Some of you are pretending to notice me at last. Yes, something is wrong. — Diana Wynne Jones

I have been, or seemed, hard with everyone because I was carried away by a sort of brutality born of my distrust in myself and my ill-humor. I have felt so badly equipped, so soft, in spite of the fact that my attitude towards art seemed to me so just. I was disgusted with everyone, and especially myself. — Edgar Degas

Silence does not always imply consent. Sometimes it simply means that the silent one has opted out of a discussion with idiots. — Lex Allen

Life's too short, drive it like ya stole it! — Debra L. Hartmann

I'll never be the size that has single digits and my thighs will always touch when I walk but I'm ok with that. — Sugar Jamison

His attitude, though always bad, has changed since he helped me prep the Pandora charm for Morgan. He thinks I'm falling for her, as ridiculous as that sounds, and he might be tempted to take matters into his hands. — Kim Harrison

In walked a woman whose attitude was certainly in its fifties if she was not. — Jess Lourey

You may not be able to change a situation, but with humor you can change your attitude about it. — Allen Klein

We shouldn't judge people. But there's a difference between judging and observing. And sometimes as we observe, our eyebrows become raised. Observation with an attitude, that's what I like to call it. — C. JoyBell C.

Beautiful face. Beautiful body. Horrible attitude. It was the holy trinity of hot boys. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

You've already got everything you need to succeed right in-front of your tits — Runa Magnus

I'm not a size zero, I'll never be a size zero, and the number of fucks I give about that is zero. — Lauren Gallagher

It must be horny douchebag day, she mumbled under her breath as she slid the bag's strap up on her shoulder. — Dennis Sharpe

Love is relative to the moment. — Delma Pryce

Tomorrow I'd probably wake up to find my shoes talking to me. And let me tell you, the price I pay for shoes, they'd have one heck of an attitude. — Melissa L. Webb

I don't mind people talking about me behind my back. It means they know me, and I'm out in front. — David Lucero

You can tell this lady to bite me,though," Darrak added. "And she can take that holier-than-thou attitude of hers and shove it right under her granny panties. — Michelle Rowen

To the champ, everything is serious business. I'm hoping that he'll live long enough to learn that in this world that is a very dangerous attitude. — Stephen King

You get work however you get work, but people keep working in a freelance world (and more and more of todays world is freelance), because their work is good, because they are easy to get along with and because they deliver the work on time. And you don't even need all three! Two out of three is fine. People will tolerate how unpleasant you are if your work is good and you deliver it on time. People will forgive the lateness of your work if it is good and they like you. And you don't have to be as good as everyone else if you're on time and it's always a pleasure to hear from you. — Neil Gaiman

She doesn't play nice with others" Sadi huffed out. "So I'm in the process of adjusting her attitude"
"And I'm in the process of getting ready to cut out your heart, bitch — Jennifer L. Armentrout

Algy, you always adopt a strictly immoral attitude towards life. You are not quite old enough to do that. — Oscar Wilde

Were you born this infuriating?"
"It's taken me years of practice. — Misty Massey

Guns, double-crosses, hitmen ... I can get used to a lot of things, but I'm never going to get used to sleeping where apocalypse bugs mate," Wednesday said, walking into the room looking around. She dropped her Birkin on the floor and heard something scuttling behind the cheap plastic wood print veneer covered dresser. She turned to face Alvin, her head cocked to the side. "Seriously. I'm not saying five-star ... I'm saying go on Expedia and find a place that actually has stars ... any stars. — Dennis Sharpe

My friend Madea has "attitude" that comes with wisdom. Back in our teens and twenties, we thought we knew everything and made all those foolish mistakes. Then, when we got a little older, at thirty, we started getting these flashes of light, revelations of what a great and lucky thing it is that we didn't get caught doing those stupid things back then. Around forty, if we are lucky, we stop lying to ourselves. Fifty and above, we've run out of patience for foolishness. Take me to the bottom line. — Tyler Perry

MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE AN ENGLISH MAJOR. AT LEAST, YOU GET TO READ STUFF THAT'S WRITTEN BY PEOPLE WHO CAN WRITE! YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING TO BE AN ENGLISH MAJOR, YOU DON'T NEED ANY SPECIAL TALENT, YOU JUST HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT SOMEONE WANTS YOU TO SEE - TO WHAT MAKES SOMEONE ANGRIEST, OR THE MOST EXCITED IN SOME OTHER WAY. IT'S SO EASY!; I THINK THAT'S WHY THERE ARE SO MANY ENGLISH MAJORS! — John Irving

I took everybody, including the dog, for a ride, and we went around the block four or five times, congratulating one another upon our new mobility. I discovered that my former casual attitude of timid acquiescence was not consistent with someone who could drive a car, so I fell gradually into a new personality, swashbuckling and brazen, with a cigarette usually hanging out of one corner of my mouth because I had to keep both hands on the wheel. — Shirley Jackson

If you get a diagnosis, get on a therapy, keep a good attitude and keep your sense of humor. — Teri Garr

Jericho stopped him before he left. He slid the ring off his finger and handed it to him. "Take this."
Asmodeus curled his lip as he shrank back from it. "I'm not about to marry your ugly ass, boy. No offense, but you ain't my type. I like my dates with less body hair ... and with female parts attached by nature."
Jericho let out an aggravated growl. "It's not a wedding ring, asshole. It's Berith's ring. You get into trouble you can summon him to help you get out of there."
That completely changed his attitude. "Oh, hey, that could be worth an engagement to you." Asmodeus grinned as he palmed it. "If I'm back in a few hours ... well, I don't want to think about that. I might change my mind about doing this. I'm thinking happy thoughts. Creamed dog innards and rotten steak. Yeah. Yum." He vanished. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

He was conservative, especially on the abortion issue, and he was death on taxes; on the other hand, he had a Clintonesque attitude about women, and even a sense of humor about his own peccadilloes. — John Sandford

I hired you for your attitude, and so far I'm pretty happy with my decision. But I'm not sure I can work with you until I've fucked this attraction out of my system. — J.C. Reed

Evelyn, see there. The eldest from the Ralstons. I hear they have a lovely collection of stained-glass windows." Ah, yes, just my type: a stiff, prideful lord-to-be with impeccable, cold deportment to prove his perfect breeding.
"Set a date," I declared solemnly with a wave of my hand. "I shall marry him immediately."
Rose choked back her giggle, but Mother was far less amused. "Not this childish behavior again," she said through her teeth, which were still arranged in a polite smile for the guests. "You will give these men more than a second's thought or deeply regret this attitude in a few years' time."
"Yes, when I'm crying next to, God forbid, a plain window, — Kelly Zekas

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude. — Don Rickles

Humor prevents a hardening of the attitudes. — Joel Goodman

While some select sobering situations may be unlaughable, there are few circumstances that humor, subtle or candid, can't improve. Afterall, remembering not to take ourselves or others too seriously can put a lot of things into perspective. Laughter is healing. Laughter creates bonds and forges enduring friendships. A healthy sense of humor can quell almost any overwhelming anxiety, and can quench the fires of fury and fear unlike anything else when appropriate. Even more so when not.
Connie Kerbs — Connie Kerbs

Hey, mister, I don't think so. You go outside and yell at sky, you so angry. — Rainbow Rowell

I was an incredible Anglophile. I found people who shared the same sense of humor and attitude toward the world. — Terry Gilliam

If change is what you're after, unify your broadcast and quit muddying up the signals with thoughts that contradict your preferences. The experience of happiness, love and abundance is actually the default Life design. It's already available. You just need to clean out the debris that's blocking your view. — Debbianne DeRose

Cats can do whatever they want, whenever they want, without regard to what anyone says or does. Rather like Princesses. — Terry Brooks

There are only two profound ways to reach enlightenment: Laugh by yourself, or get tickled. — Saurabh Sharma

Kyo: Of course, I'll beat YOU, too!
Yuki: Don't you ever get tired of saying that?
Kyo: Beating you is my vocation! It's my goal in life!
Yuki: It's so unfair that I keep having to take abuse just because you can't meet your goals.
Kyo: THAT CONDESCENDING ATTITUDE OF YOURS REALLY PISSES ME OFF!
Yuki: And that revolting thought process of yours pisses me off. — Natsuki Takaya

Sooner or later everyone behaves badly. Some of us are just better at it than others. — Kim Foster

What are you doing, Avery?"
I held up my bottle. "Drinking. What are you doing?"
His icy blue eyes narrowed. "That's not what I'm getting at and you know that. What are you doing?"
Damn. Hello attitude. I tried to give Cam the bitch look Steph had mastered, screwing my face up until I'm sure I looked like I was having a seizure. I sighed and gave up. — J. Lynn

Your attitude is like a box of crayons that color your world. Constantly color your picture gray, and your picture will always be bleak. Try adding some bright colors to the picture by including humor, and your picture begins to lighten up. — Allen Klein

Pheromones didn't care about tomorrow. They didn't care about education or employment or age. — Tracy Brogan

So-called intellectuals have ego-power; Fools have willpower. — Saurabh Sharma

My dad instilled in me a great sense of humor. I wasn't bullied at school because my outward attitude was confident, and that helps. — Warwick Davis

European fascism changed comedy in America. Jack Benny explained, 'During World War II, attitudes changed. Hitler's ideology of Aryan supremacy put all ethnic humor in a bad light. When the black man's fight for equal rights and fair play became an issue after the War, I would no longer allow Rochester to say or do anything that an audience would consider degrading.' Benny's attitude toward race relations was enlightened. Starting in 1940 he refused to play any segregated venue. In the 1960s when his agent scheduled a world tour, Benny chastised him for booking a gig in apartheid South Africa and refused to appear. — Kliph Nesteroff

Remember to remember: sometimes your adversary is your biggest asset. Where would David be without Goliath? Jesus without Judas? — Brandi L. Bates

I don't have your way with words "Sin said. "So I'm just going to go with a quick response. Ha — Sarah Rees Brennan

Oliver heard Louis' voice before he saw him. "Beautiful women?" he was saying. Then the door opened and the woman reappeared, holding the wooden lion between her arms. "Where are they? Have they come to see the
Oliver!"
"Hello, Louis," Oliver said.
Louis pointed at him. "He's no beautiful woman!" he said. Then he noticed Sophie and Julia and his whole attitude changed. He dropped his voice to a husky tone. "Why, hello there, ladies. — Zeinab Alayan

Human mobile devices that may come in handy and can be used anywhere include: prayer, meditation, a good attitude, compassion, kindness, humor, laughter, patience, love and a smile. Customize to personal style and taste. — Jody Watley

I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, 'What's wrong?' Nothing. 'Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.' Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone? — Bill Hicks

G. I. Gurdieff, "Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson"
So-and-so-and-so-must-be; do-not-do-what-must-not-be.
Mullah's favorite saying. p. 598 — Gurdieff

We must have the attitude that every child in America - regardless of where they're raised or how they're born - can learn. — George W. Bush

I'll just do a round around of the house and make sure the rest of the family are fast asleep. We don't want that sharp-nosed aunt of yours catching us when we find the diamonds." "What diamonds?" "Think positive for once ... Which would you rather, diamonds or the remains of a murdered maidservant? It's all a question of attitude. — Kerstin Gier

When I was around 19 years old, working in the college library, I was talking to a friend of mine and this older woman interrupted and said "You're too young to know about Billie Holiday." My response was "I'm too young to know about Shakespeare, too ... should I not read him? — Wanda Lea Brayton

I'm a guy. Unless the dirt attacks first, I leave it in peace. — Katie Graykowski

Thank you so much for the rude know-it-all attitude while also having to look at your ridiculously colored hair and obnoxious facial and chest piercings. I am very fortunate to have just been schooled by someone who looks like they graduated from Care Bear Carnage University. — Heather Chapple

Truax had another marshmallow poised to go into his open mouth, but he froze after hearing Dale's outburst. "I don't think I like your attitude, Dale. Everyone is addicted to something. Drugs, power, sex. Might as well be to something wholesome, like these little sweet white puffs, made from 100% all natural unicorn poop." "That's not where marshmallows come from." Truax grabbed Dale by the shirt and pulled him against the cell bars. "Yes it is, damn you!" "Okay, okay! Marshmallows are unicorn poop! — Chris Genoa

Ask Gandhi, and eye for an eye makes us both blind ... ask an engineer, and the numbers don't lie - the first to strike wins. — Steven Ivy Attorney Entrepreneur

Attitude, humor and action (persistence) will whip fears and rejection. Fear of failure doesn't exist, if you believe it doesn't. — Jeffrey Gitomer

With my adventurous, can-do attitude, I walked into a world where crap is an everyday event. — Cindy Keiger

Succeed at home first. Seek and merit divine help. Never compromise with honesty. Remember the people involved. Hear both sides before judging. Obtain counsel of others. Defend those who are absent. Be sincere yet decisive. Develop one new proficiency a year. Plan tomorrow's work today. Hustle while you wait. Maintain a positive attitude. Keep a sense of humor. Be orderly in person and in work. Do not fear mistakes - fear only the absence of creative, constructive, and corrective responses to those mistakes. Facilitate the success of subordinates. Listen twice as much as you speak. Concentrate all abilities and efforts on the task at hand, not worrying about the next job or promotion. — Stephen R. Covey

Hey, Captain Neckbeard! Less talky-talky, more worky-worky! Wednesday shouted rudely down at the man who had been changing the tire. She wasn't planning on taking shit from a tow truck driving hick today or any other day. — Dennis Sharpe

Come on, tough guy." "You can get fresh with me in the snow and threaten me with a gun all you want. But if you really want my help, you'll put your weight on me and move your feet." "In about two minutes, my extremities are going to be so numb I won't be able to do anything for either of us - even if you do shoot. So move."

He couldn't have been rescued by some meek, mousy thing who'd do what he said without the attitude? He tapped the butt of the gun against her shoulder. "That's pretty bold talk for a woman who's got no advantage."

"Uh-huh. I'm not the one bleeding to death. — Julie Miller

Clear clutter. Make space for you. — Magdalena VandenBerg

I'll never understand ninety-nine percent of humanity. - Enoch — Ransom Riggs

I don't use a crap camera, I don't eat junk, and I'm not going to a dance where the boys are bores — Adriana Trigiani

The exorcist had a slightly Australian tinge to his voice, and the laid-back, whatever-comes-next attitude of a man who had suddenly realised two degrees short of a sunstroke that exorcism was the perfect career choice he'd never been offered in school. — Kate Griffin

Humor [in a scene] is not jokes. It is that attitude toward being alive without which you would long ago have jumped off the 59th Street Bridge. — Michael Shurtleff

But I've bought a big bat.
I'm all ready, you see.
Now my troubles are going
To have trouble with me! — Dr. Seuss

Shirley: "Christopher, would you like to tell Olivia what "F.I.N.E" means?"
Christopher: "Fucked-up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional"
...
Olivia: "But what if you really do feel fine?"
Shirley: "Christopher, care to answer that?"
Christopher: "Um, there's no such feeling as fine. — Amy Reed

In order to grow, I promise you'll have to let go of some habits. 10 times out of 10, they'll be the habits you're most in love with. — Brandi L. Bates

C is for coffee. Coffee would always be there for her. — Cassandra O'Leary

Can you be serious for two words?"
"Not without effort. — Steven Brust

No mountain is too high, but so many people can't climb even a hill. There is always a way to the top, but so many people can't even get the mid and many miss the way. Life is real and the journey of life comes with rules. Mind the real and distinctive rules that lead to success and you shall get to the very peak of the mountain of success surmounting all barriers, challenges and puzzles along the journey to success with a great degree of ease! — Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

I have never yet figured out what to do about good advice that you get, and that you know right away would help you, but that you cannot follow. — Holly Lisle

Wow. This place looks classy. The smell of fertilizer and rot is really in this season. Remind me, what are we doing here?" she asked looking at him with a coy smile. "Did we come for bait? — Dennis Sharpe

As a gentleman- assuming you still have some pretensions in that direction- of honor- again, perhaps presumptuous, but still supposing your passing acquaintance with the concept- it is your duty- I won't even trouble to speculate here, but remain naively hopeful- to protect those under your care. — Connie Brockway

In his opinion, working was vastly overrated. Particularly as a way to build character, for everyone who engaged in it was far too snappish and fussy, and seemed to have no manners at all. — Hilari Bell

A positive attitude and a sense of humor go together like biscuits and gravy. — Dolly Parton

Maybe part of find what you wanted was recognizing what you didn't want. Maybe there was hope for me yet. — Claire Cook

God: "There is no way out of this."
"That's a terrible attitude," Kelsier Said. "We'll never get anything done if you talk like that. — Brandon Sanderson

Death can come slow. Death can come quick. If you've got one last breath, you better make the most of it. — A.H. Scott

Beneath the people we think we are, there are funnier, happier, livelier people that we keep ignoring. — Rebecca Murphy

Courage is not beating up the bully or letting the bully beat you up, it is standing strong before the bully and seeing him for what he truly is: a child of God in need of an attitude adjustment. — Toni Sorenson

Other mages have an odd attitude towards diviners. By the standards of, say, elemental mages. We can't gate, we can't attack, we can't shield, and when it comes to physical action our magic is about as useful as a bicycle in a trampolining contest. But we can see anywhere and learn anything and there's no secret we can't uncover if we try hard enough. So when an elemental mage looks at a diviner, the elemental mage knows he could take him in a straight fight with no more effort that it would take to tie his shoes. On the other hand, the elemental mage also knows that the diviner could find out every one of his most dirty and embarrassing secrets and, should hi feel like it, post copies of them to everyone the elemental mage has ever met. It creates a mixture of uneasiness and contempt that doesn't encourage warm feelings. There's a reason most of my friends aren't mages. — Benedict Jacka

Things on the essential list: vodka, Nine Inch Nails, a steady supply of mortal men, and an all-purpose bitchy attitude. — Richelle Mead