Asshat Quotes & Sayings

Words actually failed me. I felt as dumb as my lounge-less friend in the corner. "You injected me with vampire blood?" My words were said slowly, ensuring that I didn't get one wrong or accidentally call Francis a fucking asshat. "You're a vampire?"
Francis' expression managed to convey how stupid he thought that question was. "I live underground, and you've never seen me outside. I'm pale in complexion ands obviously hundreds of years old. What did you think I was? Agoraphobic? — Steve McHugh

Nice car, asshat!" one of them shouted before they did some kind of fist-bumping move that made me want to bump my fist, too.
Right into their faces. — Rachel Hawkins

Asshat's an asshole," she cooed. "Yes, he is. — Heather Demetrios

Don't you mean 'assclown'?" he looked amused.
"No," I said louder this time. "I mean asscrown. The crown on top of the asshat that covers the asshole of the assclown. The very zenith in the hierarchy of asses. — Michelle Hodkin

History mattered. But it could not guarantee what might happen next. — Michelle Gable

Look, we live in a very dangerous world. We know there are people who want to take away our freedoms. New Yorkers probably know that as much if not more than anybody else after the terrible tragedy of 9/11. — Michael Bloomberg

What else did he say?"
"Just that. He's going to The Eye, and he's sorry." She screwed up her face. "Oh, and some weird thing about telling you that he still feels the same way about that tent, and he promises to say it to you in person next time he sees you."
I gave a bark of laughter that was more of a sob, "That asshat," I blubbered.
Elodie nodded in sympathy. "Such an asshat."
When I'd left Thorne Abbey, I'd held Archer's sword and had a sense that somehow things would turn out all right. Please, I thought. The rest of my magic is back, so let me have that power, too.
But there was no reply except the whistling of the wind. — Rachel Hawkins

No," I said, louder this time. "I mean asscrown. The crown on top of the asshat that covers the asshole of the assclown. The very zenith in the hierarchy of asses," I said, as though reading from a dictionary of modern profanity. — Michelle Hodkin

Since I'm an asshat, I thought I'd have a choice with you, that I'd be able to walk away if you disillusioned me or turned out to be a blood-sucking creature of the night - and okay, I would have bailed if you were evil . . . Or maybe not. Knowing myself, I'd want to save you. But you're not evil. The point is, I'm realizing you're the same as everyone else in my life, only a thousand times more potent, and that has nothing to do with where you come from. I can grit my teeth about what you do, but I can't control how I react to your laugh. I would rather be near you, see you touch everything but me, than be holding any other girl. I like being with you, Love. Playing, talking, fighting, not-touching. — Natalia Jaster

But then some asshat got voted into office who thought it'd be a good idea to let countries like North Korea and Iran develop nuclear arsenals. — M.D. Massey

Cox slanted his eyes at him and grinned. "You're makin' me miss Kami," he said with a dramatic sigh. "Shut up," Mick growled. "You're a fuckin' pussy-whipped asshole." "Oh yeah?" Cox threatened. "How about I take your old lady out for a fuckin' ride? You good with that, old man?" Mick lunged and Cox went running. "Who's fuckin' pussy-whipped now, asshat?" Cox laughed over his shoulder. "That would be you, bitch!" "You did not just call me a bitch!" Mick roared, chasing him. "Bitch! I fuckin' did! Bitch! — Madeline Sheehan

Dinner at college high table is one of the legendary experiences of England. I could remember keenly each one I had attended; the repartee is sharper than the cutlery. — Gregory Benford

What else did he say?"
She screwed up her face. "Oh, some weird thing about telling you that he still feels the same way about that tent, and he promises to say it to you in person next time he sees you."
I gave a bark of laughter that was more of a sob. "That asshat," I blubbered.
Elodie nodded in sympathy. "Such an asshat. — Rachel Hawkins

There are at least five swear words I like better than fuck. My favorites are compound words like apeshit, craphat or batshit, but above all, my numero uno, all-time favorite swear word is assclown, without a doubt. Asshat runs a close second. I must say, very few things give me greater pleasure than calling someone an assclown when they really fit the bill. I love it more than puppies and baby seals. — Renee Carlino

I came to Tasmania in search of an elusive species. And I found it. But never in my wildest dreams did I expect to find you. And I believe I found a type of butterfly that exists only in my belly which makes itself known when I think of you. — N.R. Walker

Asscrown," I muttered under my breath as I headed to my next class. I wasn't proud of swearing at a complete stranger, no. but he started it.
Noah matched my pace. "Don't you mean 'assclown'?" He looked amused.
"No," I said, louder this time. "I mean asscrown. The crown on top of the asshat that covers the asshole of the assclown. The very zenith in the hierarchy of asses," I said, as though I was reading from a dictionary of modern profanity.
"I guess you nailed me then. — Michelle Hodkin

The water near me stirred and then a Sharkface rose up out of it as if on an elevator, slow, his mouth tilted up into a small smile. He stood there on the water perhaps five feet away from me. His eyeless face looked smug.
"Warden," he said.
"Asshat," I replied. — Jim Butcher

Having your own opinion and not being very bright are two different things. — Haruki Murakami

Are you seriously having to ask why I won't date you?" She sounded so incredulous. "Would you like me to recite the list alphabetically?"
Actually, he did. "Let's hear it."
Not even a pause. "Asshat. Braggart. Cocky tied with chauvinist. Dumbass. Egotistical. Do I really need to go on? — Eve Langlais

Publishing a book is like giving birth. You labor over it and then produce what you think is the most beautiful thing in the world. Then some asshat comes along and says 'what an ugly baby'. And you want to throat punch the Fuq into Outer Mongolia. Quote by Jordan Silver 12/22/13 — Jordan Silver

thought we were supposed to get her drunk and put her panties in the freezer," Jolene said, her pretty face scrunched in confusion. "I think you're mixing up your female-bonding customs," I told her. "That's 'thirteen-year-olds at a sleepover,' not 'vampire boyfriend may or may not have cheated on you, but either way, he's an emotionally unavailable asshat. — Molly Harper

It's amazing what you can convince yourself of, if you buy into the lie. — Jodi Picoult

Tiny, the next time that you try to set me up with a girl with a secret boyfriend can you at least INFORM me that she has a secret boyfriend? Also, if you don't call me back within five minutes, I'm going to assume you found a way back to Evanston. Furthermore, you are an asshat. That is all. — John Green

He knew Danny, she was a fucking chatterbox. She was always rambling on and on about music and clothes and some asshat named Chan-a-something Tater Tots. — Madeline Sheehan

You could have let that thing flatten me, but you didn't. Why?"
"I could ask you the same question."
She was too tired to edit her mouth. "You're my master. I couldn't let that thing kill another trapper, even if I think he's a total asshat."
Harper looked at her for a long time then cracked a toothy grin. "And you're one mouthy bitch, but you're my apprentice. I don't need the reputation that my people die because I don't protect them."
That was fair. — Jana Oliver

He wouldn't kill me. He might not even hurt me - there had been several instances where I could've sworn he didn't want this violent life. But he wanted to touch me, and he was roguish enough to do whatever he thought necessary to reach that end goal. Like lock me in a room. Asshat. After — Laura Thalassa

But for me, the true attraction of America is that it's practically godless. When I was younger and dodging the Romans, I could hardly walk a mile in Europe without stepping on a stone sacred to some god or other. But out here in Arizona, all I have to worry about is the occasional encounter with Coyote, and I actually rather like him. (He's nothing like Thor, for one thing, and that right there means we're going to get along fine. The local college kids would describe Thor as a "major asshat" if they ever had the misfortune to meet him.) — Kevin Hearne

I stifled a yawn. It's too early to be such an asshat Daniel. — Michelle Hodkin

Sharing life brings the greatest joy. — Lailah Gifty Akita

What kind of asshat!" Aliyev actually screamed aloud, "Makes a grenade crate! That's fucking! Flammable! — Michael Stephen Fuchs

I think that's my new band name," Shane said. "Asshat and Nerd Girlfriend. It's got a ring to it. — Rachel Caine

That macho protective bullshit is just some asshat man pissing on his territory so the other dogs will stay away. — Tammara Webber

I learned about sex the hard way ... from books. — Emo Philips

Asshat! You Darth Vadered me!" (Delaney to Rowan) — Diana Duncan

Why are you such an asshat?"
"An asshat?" Jace looked as if he were about to laugh. — Cassandra Clare

I'm instantly mortified by my fat, uncontrollable mouth, but that's when it occurs to me that my humor is a self-defense mechanism. Even though I may come off like a stark raving asshat, being funny is the most important tool I have to stay sane. The ability to say what I think is the key to allowing me to feel in control. — Jen Lancaster