Ascuismi Quotes & Sayings

My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet ... oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool. — Anthony Jeselnik

Other people can often see things about you that you yourself cannot see, even if those people are stupid. — David Foster Wallace

How can you tell your wife you are just popping out to play a match and then not come back for five days? — Rafael Benitez

Each pedestrian could see no halo but his or her own, which never deserted the head-shadow, whatever its vulgar unsteadiness might be; but adhered to it, and persistently beautified it; till the erratic motions seemed an inherent part of the irradiation, and the fumes of their breathing a component of the night's mist; and the spirit of the scene, and of the moonlight, and of Nature, seemed harmoniously to mingle with the spirit of wine. — Thomas Hardy

If any mayor reduced school funding by 33 percent and called it the 'Strengthening Our Schools Initiative,' I think they'd be excoriated. — Martin O'Malley