Art Humor Quotes & Sayings

The last void stone I'd worn was a beautiful black stone caught in vines of copper and silver. It looked like a necklace, a piece of art, really. This thing was spud-ugly. — Devon Monk

I kept finding the same anguish, the same doubt; a self-contempt that neither irony nor intellect seemed able to deflect. Even DuBois's learning and Baldwin's love and Langston's humor eventually succumbed to its corrosive force, each man finally forced to doubt art's redemptive power, each man finally forced to withdraw, one to Africa, one to Europe, one deeper into the bowels of Harlem, but all of them in the same weary flight, all of them exhausted, bitter men, the devil at their heels. — Barack Obama

When you smell a flower, where is the smell before you smell the flower? Think about that one. — Art Hochberg

Sometimes you wonder, "How did I get myself into that scene? Why did I take that on?" You know, you couldn't really have done anything different at that time. Now maybe, if that comes around again, you might think twice, not think about it at all, or not do anything at all about it. But let it play itself out as it now presents itself. That's called being open to life's changes, however subtle or outrageous they come. — Art Hochberg

It's hard to trust our own decisions, but we have no options. We have to do that in order to be all right with ourselves. — Art Hochberg

I'm adorable, first off. My sense of humor is stellar - obvs."
"Obvs," she echoes dryly.
"I'm extraordinarily skilled in the art of conversation."
She nods. "When it's about yourself, of course."
"Of course." I pretend to think it over some more. "Oh, and I'm a mind reader. No lie. I always know what the other person is thinking."
"Yeah? What am I thinking right now?" Allie challenges.
"That you want me to shut up and fuck you again."
She shakes her head in dismay. "Goddamn it. That's actually what I was thinking."
I smirk at her and tap my forehead. "Told ya. Mind reader. — Elle Kennedy

[L]ife is a phenomenon in need of criticism, for we are, as fallen creatures, in permanent danger of worshipping false gods, of failing to understand ourselves and misinterpreting the behaviour of others, of growing unproductively anxious or desirous, and of losing ourselves to vanity and error. Surreptitiously and beguilingly, then, with humour or gravity, works of art
novels, poems, plays, paintings or films
can function as vehicles to explain our condition to us. They may act as guides to a truer, more judicious, more intelligent understanding of the world. — Alain De Botton

The thing is we can't be attached to anything we've experienced up to this point in our life - any person, any situation, any outcomes, any happiness, any pain - any of it. — Art Hochberg

Flirting is a "controversial art form" that leaves the intended either flattered, infatuated, creeped out or getting a restraining order. — Shannon L. Alder

It's not that students don't "get" Kafka's humor but that we've taught them to see humor as something you get
the same way we've taught them that a self is something you just have. No wonder they cannot appreciate the really central Kafka joke
that the horrific struggle to establish a human self results in a self whose humanity is inseparable from that horrific struggle. That our endless and impossible journey toward home is in fact our home. It's hard to put into words up at the blackboard, believe me. You can tell them that maybe it's good they don't "get" Kafka. You can ask them to imagine his art as a kind of door. To envision us readers coming up and pounding on this door, pounding and pounding, not just wanting admission but needing it, we don't know what it is but we can feel it, this total desperation to enter, pounding and pushing and kicking, etc. That, finally, the door opens ... and it opens outward: we've been inside what we wanted all along. Das ist komisch. — David Foster Wallace

Typical artist,' said Granny. 'He just painted the showy stuff in the front ... And what about these cherubs? We're not going to get them too, are we? I don't like to see little babies flying through the air.'
'They turn up in a lot of old paintings,' said Nanny Ogg. 'They put them in to show it's Art and not just naughty pictures of ladies with not many clothes on.'
'Well, they're not fooling ME,' said Granny Weatherwax. — Terry Pratchett

Time does not pass - only events pass. Where do they go? Hmmmmmmm. — Art Hochberg

That's art. Nothing is for everybody. — Brian Spellman

Are you French?' I asked instead.

'Oui!'

Foreign. Foreign spy. French Communist Party acted on Stalin's instructions during part of World War II. French Communist spy.

Stop it stop it stop it

I turned to Art, a black kid who was a foot and a half taller than me and whose pecs were about to burst of his shirt and eat someone. I gave him a two on the delusion detector. I didn't trust those pecs.

'Hi,' he rumbled.

I waved weakly. — Francesca Zappia

Entertainment is business: the business of fucking art in the face. — Eugene Mirman

She had lost the art of conversation, but not, unfortunately, the power of speech. — George Bernard Shaw

You don't always have to say what's on your mind. You can keep it to yourself for the time being. That's called patience. — Art Hochberg

Things look one way and then they look another way. — Art Hochberg

We suffered for our art. You have to suffer for our art as well! — Terry Gilliam

How do you not let things bother you? By placing yourself out of the physical and emotional range of that which is bothering you. — Art Hochberg

Why isn't everyone praying all the time? Who cares why everyone isn't praying all the time - you pray all the time. — Art Hochberg

Relaxing is hard to do at times. Worrying and agitation are even harder on the body and mind. — Art Hochberg

Your art ... " I gaped at the field of white. "There was a lovely portrait of me - right there."
I get offended whenever art is damaged, especially if that art features me. — Rick Riordan

It would be a really bad idea to let this person loose."

"How bad of an idea?"

"Kicking-Hitler-out-of-art-school bad. — Rin Chupeco

I'd been just like her, a youngster with something to say, a rebel through street art, leaving my mark on public buildings, to taunt the government and humor the public — Kenya Wright

The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. — Douglas Adams

To me you are a work of art, and I would give you my heart - that's if I had one. — Morrissey

Love is the antidote for all the fears, questions and worries that we accumulate in life. — Art Hochberg

I'm scared and overwhelmed and my mind is racing. But," she paused and looked at him. "You're here. You just gave me hope. You also just scared the blazes out of me. I'm no longer sure that I'm the most difficult person in this relationship."
"I remain sure of it," Alain said.
"Did you just make a joke?" She pulled away a little and stared at him, smiling more like she usually did. "Are you making fun of me, Mage?"
Alain couldn't remember how long it had been since he had laughed. The act was completely alien to Mages, to the training he had endured since he was a small child. But now he laughed, the sound rusty and halting, yet he knew it was a laugh, and it felt so good to be laughing and holding Mari that Alain wondered what Mage art or other promised reward could possibly be worth giving up such things. — Jack Campbell

But I think frustration is hilarious. One of my missions is to bring humor into fine art. It's sacred. — Wayne White

Art is anything you can get away with. — Marshall McLuhan

Oceanic malaise. I never saw anyone reading anything more demanding than a comic book. I never heard any youth express an interest in science or art. No one even talked politics. It was all idleness, and whenever I asked someone a question, no matter how simple, no matter how well the person spoke English, there was always a long pause before I got a reply, and I found these Pacific pauses maddening. And there was giggling but no humor - no wit. It was just foolery. — Paul Theroux

I happen to have a certain fondness for existing
soda wouldn't have that lovely fizzy feeling if you were dead. Think of all the things you would miss: Cartoons, music, movies, video games, music, art, fingernail growth, sex ... well, perhaps not sex, depending on how weird your mortician is. — Jhonen Vasquez

How do you learn not to take things so seriously? Don't take them. — Art Hochberg

She had graduated from the Beaux Arts in Caen. She worked entirely on her body, she explained to me; I looked at her anxiously as she opened her portfolio. I was hoping she wasn't going to show me photos of plastic surgery on her toes or anything like that - I'd had it up to here with things like that. But no, she simply handed me some postcards which she had had made, with the imprint of her pussy dipped in different coloured paints. I chose a turquoise and a mauve; I was a little sorry I hadn't brought photos of my prick to return the favour. — Michel Houellebecq

In truth, he had always considered the sight of men eating croissants slightly ridiculous, especially at the beginning, when for the first bite they had to maneuver the point of the crescent into their mouths. No matter what a person did, he ended up with an asymmetrical mouthful of pastry, which he then had to relocate with his tongue to a more central location. This made him look less purposive than he might. Also, croissants were more apt than other breakfast foods to spray little flakes all over one's clean dark suit. Art himself had accordingly never ordered a croissant in any working situation, and he believed that attention to this sort of detail was how it was that he had not lost his job like so many of his colleagues. — Gish Jen

I'm a pretty tenacious person; I get that from my mom. So sometimes, I use dark humor. I can't take myself too seriously. — Art Alexakis

(The Mona Lisa), that really is the ugliest portrait I've seen, the only thing that supposedly makes it famous is the mystery behind it, Katherine admitted as she remembered her trips to the Louvre and how she shook her head at the poor tourists crowding around to see a jaundiced, eyebrow-less lady that reminded her of tight-lipped Washington on the dollar bill. Surely, they could have chosen a better portrait of the First President for their currency? — E.A. Bucchianeri

wash the brush, just beats the devil out of it — Bob Ross

Never before have the tools of value creation been so great and the potential artisans so busy watching the Kardashians. — Ryan Lilly

Life presents some very interesting situations. When you're in the middle of a jam, you're not thinking, "Oh that's interesting." You're thinking, "How the hell am I going to get through this one. — Art Hochberg

Once you individuate from the Guru, you're on your own Guru journey. — Art Hochberg

Wit seduces by signaling intelligence without nerdiness. — Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Perhaps, you know, new laws, new domains of potential openness are occurring as the universe ages, and complexity previously disallowed is now possible, and we are that complexity. We are nature moving out of its genetic phase - a phase under the control of chemical genes, which are physical structures, in to an epigenetic phase, a phase of culture ruled by codes, transformable culturally confined codes - mathematics, religion, philosophy, art, dance, humor. — Terence McKenna

Depression gave me more then just a brooding introspection. It gave me humor, it gave me a certain what-a-fuck-up-I-am shtick to play with when the worst was over..the side effects, the by products of depression, seems to keep me going. I had developed a persona that could be extremely melodramatic and entertaining. It had, at times, all the selling points of madness, all the aspects of performance art. I was always able to reduce whatever craziness I'd experienced into the perfect antidote, the ideal cocktail party monologue...I thought this ability, to tell away my personal life as if it didn't belong to me, to be queerly chatty and energetic at moments that most people found inappropriate, was what my friends liked about me. — Elizabeth Wurtzel

If you don't like what's playing, change the channel. — Art Hochberg

Art has one purpose, that is to leave you changed. Love has one purpose, that is to create art. — Julieanne O'Connor

A painting is worth a thousand confused art-gallery visitors. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Accepting the rule that others want us to play is fine, as long as we're fine with it. — Art Hochberg

Some people say they're afraid about dying. Noooo ... it's the fear of living totally in the moment, living fully engaged, and independent at the same time. That's the real fear. — Art Hochberg

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick learned while mastering the art of living. — Viktor E. Frankl

An artist should paint from the heart, and not always what people expect. Predictability often leads to the dullest work, in my opinion, and we have been bored stiff long enough I think. — E.A. Bucchianeri

What a trip life is. — Art Hochberg

They say everything looks better with odd numbers of things. But sometimes I put even numbers - just to upset the critics. — Bob Ross

Just be careful that your determination doesn't turn into your fanaticism. — Art Hochberg

Really, when you think about it, how can God speak through everybody? Hmmmmmm. — Art Hochberg

We might have the most beautiful words and thoughts - but it's actions that count. — Art Hochberg

Everyone and everything comes into our life at exactly the right time. — Art Hochberg

The art teacher's scarlet book was called Story of the Eye by Georges Bataille. 'As the title suggests,' Mr Dunwoody saw the book'd caught my attention, 'it's about the history of opticians. What are you about? — David Mitchell

Most cowgirls are natural storytellers, their art honed by years of practice ... It serves as entertainment; it also preserves the humor and value of a unique way of life. — Teresa Jordan

The ones who're so upset about everybody not being the same, about competition, about standards of quality, about art objects having 'auras' around them, they're usually people with average abilities and average minds. And below average senses of humor. — Tom Robbins

So how do we do this trip, knowing it's all an illusion? How do we do that? We can't do that. We can only hang on for the ride. — Art Hochberg

Politics is the art of achieving prestige and power without merit. — P. J. O'Rourke

Of course it is juggling, theman in motley was saying ... YOu know what your problem is, Sir Grenall? You've been seduced by the lure of spectacle. Sure, I could juggle three or four balls and use two hands, and that would be very impressive, but then what would I do after that? Five balls? Three hands? You see how it goes? Now me, I'm an artist, trying to recapture the original purity of the art form. This-the man nodded at the ball he tossing up and down-this is the essence of juggling. — Gerald Morris

I just think it's fortunate that Sir Isaac Newton didn't share the sense of humor of a member of the public, because had he done so, he would of been so amused by the simple effects of gravity, that he would of never gotten round making a comprehensive study of it's causes.
That's the punchline! 'a comprehensive study of it's courses'! I worked for that! Will you be telling this joke at work? I don't think so!
And yes, I am aware that I say this to you while hanging precariously of this art-deco balcony. And I do so deliberately in the hope that I will fall to my death, and that you will learn about the thin line between slap-stick and tragedy. — Stewart Lee

Personally, I think so-called "common language" is more interesting and apropos than "proper English"; it's passionate and powerful in ways that "wherefore art thou ass and thy elbow" just isn't. — J.R. Ward

Mad! Quite mad!' said Stalky to the visitors, as one exhibiting strange beasts. 'Beetle reads an ass called Brownin', and M'Turk reads an ass called Ruskin; and-'
'Ruskin isn't an ass,' said M'Turk. 'He's almost as good as the Opium-Eater. He says we're "children of noble races, trained by surrounding art." That means me, and the way I decorated the study when you two badgers would have stuck up brackets and Christmas cards. Child of a noble race, trained by surrounding art, stop reading or I'll shove a pilchard down your neck! — Rudyard Kipling

What would you think of an engineer who expounded the art of flying without revealing the secrets of the engine and propeller? That's what you do, you engineer of the human soul. Just that. You're a coward. You want the raisins out of my cake but you don't want the thorns of my roses. Haven't you too, little psychiatrist, been cracking silly jokes about me? Haven't you ridiculed me as "the prophet of bigger and better orgasms"? Have you never heard the whimpering of a young wife whose body has been desecrated by an impotent husband? Or the anguished cry of an adolescent bursting with unfulfilled love? Does your security still mean more to you than your patient? How long will you go on valuing your respectability above your medical mission? How long will you refuse to see that your pussyfooting procrastination is costing millions their lives? — Wilhelm Reich

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke. — Steve Martin

We are bored in the city, to still discover mysteries on the signs along the street, latest state of humor and poetry, requires getting damned tired...

Gilles Ivain (aka Ivan Chtcheglov) — Tom McDonough

The popular distinction between 'constructive' and 'destructive' criticism is a sentimentality: the mind too weak to perceive in what respects the bad fails is not strong enough to appreciate in what the good succeeds. To be without discrimination is to be unable to praise. The critic who lets you know that he always looks for something to like in works he discusses is not telling you anything about the works or about art; he is saying 'see what a nice person I am. — Brigid Brophy

I mean really, how could an artistic individual stay grounded in the nitty-gritty of how many minutes per pound meat has to stay in the oven when trying to fathom the creative philosophy behind the greatest artistic minds of the world? — E.A. Bucchianeri

Isn't it amazing how you can actually remember things? Where are they when you're not remembering them? — Art Hochberg

TIMING TOAST
Grook on how to char for yourself
There's an art of knowing when.
Never try to guess.
Toast until it smokes and then
twenty seconds less. — Piet Hein

From space this Earth is incandescent with abominations - the gods write their signature in our entrails — Steve Aylett

Be your own independent film channel. — Art Hochberg

Some people say, "I only want to do God's work." How do you know what God's work is?? — Art Hochberg

You never know what you're going to learn about a situation beforehand. Humility is a powerful tool on the path to greater humility. — Art Hochberg

My own life is wonderful, but if I had to live the life of someone else, I'd gladly choose that of Julia Child or Dr. Seuss: two outrageously original people, each of whom fashioned an idiosyncratic wisdom, passion for life, and sense of humor into an art form that anyone and everyone could savor. — Julia Glass

Fine art is something wonderful that's left long into the future ... eternal beauty. — Masashi Kishimoto

How important are the visual arts in our society? I feel strongly that the visual arts are of vast and incalculable importance. Of course I could be prejudiced. I am a visual art. — Kermit The Frog

When you get to a point where there's absolutely nothing you can count on in this world, you're home free. — Art Hochberg

Listen, you're not doing God any favors by praying. You're doing yourself a favor. — Art Hochberg

What are you doing with the child?" I inquired cautiously.
"I'm teachin' young James here the fine art of not pissing on his feet," he explained. — Diana Gabaldon

You have to admit that this is a very strange life. If you don't admit it, then you have a very high threshold for strangeness, and more power to you. — Art Hochberg

Everyone here now is going to die. But really no one knows what death is really like. Maybe we just take on another part in this neverending play of life as it unfolds. There is no end to the journey. — Art Hochberg

Listen, if you're not totally surrendered, you're not playing. It's as simple as that. — Art Hochberg

I have made up my mind that I will never marry. I shall be wedded to my art. — L.M. Montgomery

A big part of wisdom is to learn which situations to get involved in, or not get involved in - it really is as simple as that. — Art Hochberg

What you see is what you see — Frank Stella

Dying is simply showing up for your time of departure - from this realm. — Art Hochberg

On Art Garfunkel - He makes Paul Simon look like LL Cool J. — Ian Gittins

Wealth announces itself with what's easy to break and impossible to clean. The chairs were all curvy works of art that turned sitting into yoga exercises. — Anthony Marra

Our humor turns our anger into a fine art. — Mary Kay Blakely

A prayer is not what you think - it's what you experience. — Art Hochberg

Don't play the reels of your life backwards - play them forward. — Art Hochberg

Stand-up is an art but since it's humor and it's funny - a lot of guys that don't think it's art are probably coming from the angle that they don't want to take it so seriously. I've always looked at it as an art but I don't look at it as a pretentious art. I understand it has to be taken lightly because it is just comedy in the end, but the good stand-up comics are someone with something to say. — Mitch Hedberg

Religions are strange. They seem to be caught in some dream which they won't give up and trying to convince others of the truth of their dream, when in fact each person is having their own dream. Take what you need from the religions and just leave the rest, and be all right with that. — Art Hochberg

Don't let your schedule rule you - just do what you gotta do - or don't do it if you don't want to do it. The paradoz about schedules is that they can either help keep you sane, or drive you insane. It's your choice. — Art Hochberg

I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings ... Boy With Pail ... Kitten On Fire. — Steven Wright