Are You There Chelsea Quotes & Sayings

You can act, or you can't. I'm sure a lot of people who are serious about acting would disagree, but I'm not really worried about them. — Chelsea Handler

At the time of our conversations, Chelsea Manning was 22 years of age - my own age when I made the choice to surrender to federal authorities ... I saw someone very familiar that day, and suddenly felt very old. — Adrian Lamo

Gabriel shuffled around the trunk again, searching for faux arrows - arrows designed to injure but not kill. "All these arrows are sharp - and have blood on them."
"Yes, well, I left my cotton candy arrows at home next to my teddy bear. — Chelsea Fine

I really want to interview Larry David. — Chelsea Peretti

Jay sat down across from Chelsea and took both of her hands in his. The oversized lunchroom was buzzing with activity, and he practically had to yell to be heard.
"Chelsea, for the love of everything good and holy, please ... please stop ruining my friend."
Violet bit her lip to stop from laughing at the two of them. She knew what he was talking about before he even explained. It was the new facial hair.
Chelsea jerked her hands out of his. "Oh, relax, drama queen. He's not broken. Besides, I'm gonna fix him this weekend."
Jay seemed relieved. — Kimberly Derting

Chelsea are up there with best teams in the world,and let's hope United can join us in quarter-finals. — Jose Mourinho

Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home. — Chelsea Handler

I try to make fun of everyone as often as possible, especially minorities. — Chelsea Handler

I've had contact with Arsenal and Chelsea, but it's a bit of a mess, — Adel Taarabt

Most men would never tell a girl her Pikachu smells like a crab cake. It's just not done. But they would have no qualms about telling their guy friends. Similarly, if you're a guy and you pull your pants down, and the girl you're with immediately stats text messaging her friends, you have a small penis.
Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea — Chelsea Handler

After discovering him in his threesome, I spent the next two weeks in bed suffering from a severe case of vagina elbow. It's a condition not unlike tennis elbow, but you get it from masturbating. — Chelsea Handler

[I would] just stick to the festival as much as possible. Because it's about the music for me, really. [I don't come] all the way here to go to trendy parties. There are some people who come here to go to parties. [The exception is when] it's an after-party and the festival has closed. Festivals are kind of magical places, and you need to soak as much of that up as possible. — Chelsea Leyland

Gabriel glanced down. "Seriously, Tristan? You drive around with a trunk full of weapons?"
"Of course."
"Why?"
"Because I'm the family bad guy. — Chelsea Fine

If Chelsea drop points, the cat's out in the open. And you know what cats are like - sometimes they don't come home. — Alex Ferguson

If you are a drinker, always use a pseudonym when booking hotels. None of us really know what kind of mess we're going to leave behind, and there's no sense in getting banned from a resort you respect. — Chelsea Handler

And because Scarlet loved pancakes ... That's what he would do. Make pancakes and flee. — Chelsea Fine

I've always been more interested in what happens after the bad thing has happened - the fallout of the bad thing, when people are already damaged. I'm less interested in seeing people when they're fine and following their journey to becoming damaged. — Chelsea Cain

I was an ambassador for Betway during the Rugby World Cup and at the moment I'm working as an ambassador for Artemis Investment Management. I also organised the first Rugby Aid in 2015. We had celebrities playing rugby against former England team players and raised a ton of money for Rugby For Heroes [a charity for former servicemen and women]. Only one celeb got crunched quite badly - Jaime Laing from Made in Chelsea ended up with cracked ribs. — Mike Tindall

I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal. — Chelsea Handler

there is no victory without a battle. — Chelsea Fine

Chelsea are not made to play football. We're good on the counter, a little bit like Real against Bayern. — Eden Hazard

Why would you go out and not drink? Just stay home and sit there. — Chelsea Handler

He [Courtois] goes back to Chelsea. — Marc Wilmots

If it makes you feel any better, he's been all sad doll lately too."
"What are you talking about, Chels?"
Chelsea stopped walking and stared at Violet.
"Jay. I'm talking about Jay, Vi. I thought you might want to know that you're not the only one who's hurting. He's been moping around school, making it hard to even look at him. He's messed up ... bad." Just like the other night in Violet's bedroom, something close to ... sympathy crossed Chelsea's face.
Violet wasn't sure how to respond.
Fortunately sympathetic Chelsea didn't stick around for long. She seemed to get a grip on herself, and like a switch had been flipped, the awkward moment was over and her friend was back, Chelsea-style: "I swear, every time I see him, I'm halfway afraid he's gonna start crying like a girl or ask to borrow a tampon or something. Seriously, Violet, it's disgusting. Really. Only you can make it stop. Please make it stop. — Kimberly Derting

My mother had heard all about miniskirts but had never seen one so I took her for lunch at Alvaro's [in Chelsea]. We walked down the King's Road and waited 10 seconds for our first miniskirt and a girl came along with her skirt tucked round her arse. I said: 'What do you think, ma?' And she said: 'If it's not for sale, you shouldn't put it in the window!' — Michael Caine

The L. A. Times is reporting that Britney Spears' album Blackout will be number one on the Billboard charts. Not to toot my horn, but I predicted this on my show a week ago. No one wanted to believe me - even I didn't want to believe me, but now I know how Nostradamus feels. — Chelsea Handler

There's no such thing as a normal highschool experience, Thorny. You assume everyone else is happy all he time and living an ideal life. You don't get that other people are pretending too. — Chelsea Sedoti

Nate called out, "Team Meeting!" and pointed a finger in the air.
When he had everyone's attention, Nate cleared his throat. "There are a few Team Awesome things we need to discuss."
Tristan leaned over to Gabriel. "What's Team Awesome?"
"It's our team name," Heather smiled.
"We're not a team," Gabriel said.
"We are a team," Nate corrected. "We're Team Awesome and I'm team captain." He looked at Tristan. "You can call me Captain. Or Captain America, if you'd like. I'm even willing to settle for Captain Jack."
Tristan crossed his arms. "Yeah, that's not going to happen."
Heather's eyes lit up. "Ooh! Can we choose code names? Can I be Catwoman?"
"We're not choosing code names." Gabriel looked incredibly annoyed and Tristan almost smiled. — Chelsea Fine

Gabriel nodded. "Sometimes love makes hard decisions for the sake of what needs protecting." "But love should fight." He nodded slowly. "Yes, love should fight. But there is a difference between a valiant fight and a selfish fight. And love is not selfish." She turned to look at him across the grass. "For someone who is cursed to be without love you are quite wise on matters of the heart." Sorrow filled her eyes. "I'm sorry for your curse." He shrugged. "It could be worse. I could be cursed to an eternity of pain or a life without chocolate. — Chelsea Fine

Sometimes I think there are memories you hide within your own mind because they're too much to deal with. — Chelsea Landon

I love to write just about more than anything, but there are times I have to force myself to sit down and work. I want to play with my daughter or watch a movie with my husband or go outside on the nicest day of the year. But if writing is going to be your job, you have to treat it like a job. — Chelsea Cain

But there are some kinds of love that you can't lose, no matter how hard you try. So there's no need for him to be afraid. — Chelsea Fine

Of course, you never really forget anyone, but you certainly release them. You stop allowing their history to have any meaning for you today. You let them change their haircut, let them move, let them fall in love again. And when you see this person you have let go, you realize that there is no reason to be sad. The person you knew exists somewhere, but you are separated by too much time to reach them again. — Chelsea Fagan

'Chels-emojis' are in the works. I use emojis heavily in life, and I think a lot of people do. There are a number that are frustratingly absent - you know how there's kind of a generic white man and a generic white woman? I just want to put a generic black man and a generic black woman. — Chelsea Peretti

I was a young man, and this is the kind of London it was, but so many people are just not here anymore. Not even Tina [Chow], who was to me absolutely the most important girl of the time. Tina was absolutely the chicest thing, the way she kept herself, the way she moved. You're born like that - you cannot acquire it. All those upper-class girls, people like Catherine Tennant, they used to be there in Chelsea, sitting on the couch. Now Chelsea is full of Russians. — Manolo Blahnik

There are some really interesting celebrities and people who are fun to interview, but when you have to do it every day because you have to fill a slot, the allure wears off. — Chelsea Handler

I think nudity is funny, especially when it's inappropriate. — Chelsea Handler

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU — Chelsea Handler

Everywhere I go, people ask me about Jennifer Aniston's wedding. Everywhere I go. I always say to her, I'm like, 'Being friends with you is a burden. You think it's hard to be friends with me?' — Chelsea Handler

I ride horseback - arthritic knees permitting - or listen to opera. Sometimes I cook. I used to do needlework, but it's hard on my hands now, so I only do it occasionally, but I like it. And, of course, I read. — Chelsea Quinn Yarbro

Why did you do this?" He was shaking. "Just tell me why."
I tried to muster up some of the righteous indignation that I'd felt on Friday night as I said, "You knocked over my gravestone!" But even to my ears the words sounded tinny and pathetic.
Dan's face was pale. "It was just a gravestone, Chelsea. And it was a mistake. I told you that already, and I meant it. I've never lied to you. My God, can't you tell the difference between a gravestone and a person you love? Can't you tel which one matters?"
But if I had to point to the real problem in my life, it's that I've never known the difference between a gravestone and a person I love. I have never known which is which until it's too late.
"All's fair in love and war," I reminded him, aiming for Tawny's tone. But my voice came out sounding just like me.
"Oh, yeah? And which is this?" he asked. "Love or war? — Leila Sales

I don't think so, dude. Gabriel would kill me. And then Scarlet would kill me. And they could just keep on killing me over and over again because I don't ever die. Do you know how much that would suck? — Chelsea Fine

I'm always happy to pitch in and do something. Everybody needs to be laughing a little. — Chelsea Handler

There are many ways to get to know someone, and my favorite is seeing them naked in Happy Baby pose.
I also feel it is important to have sex soon after meeting someone in order to find out if you have sexual chemistry together. Otherwise, you could wait two to three months after you start dating someone only to discover that your new boyfriend is bad in bed, or even worse, is into anal beads and duct tape. — Chelsea Handler

My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking. — Chelsea Handler

Is Heather McDonald your best friend? You better get a new one. — Chelsea Handler

Network TV is so limiting. There are so many parameters. — Chelsea Handler

Even now, it still bewildered Chelsea the way Virginia and her circle of picture-perfect friends had made that amazing transition - it seemed like overnight - abandoning bikes and Barbies for boys and fashion. But Chelsea hadn't been invited to cross that bridge with them. — Melody Carlson

Sup, Andrews?" he says. 'Sup? He's a white boy in a polo shirt. 'Sup is he's a poser. I don't respond. — Chelsea Fine

The face of an angel, the mind of a devil, and a heart of gold. — Chelsea Handler

The picture of Chelsea and me that flashed around the world showed a happy mother-daughter team perched on our pachyderm and watching a rare Asian rhino. Later, when we got back to Washington, James Carville remarked: "Don't you just love it? You spent two years trying to get people better health care and they tried to kill you. You and Chelsea rode an elephant, and they loved you! — Hillary Rodham Clinton

I think it's important to be involved with charities that don't necessarily reflect what you're dealing with in your life. — Chelsea Handler

I had to leave my debit card at home when I went into a bookstore or else I would drain my account. — Chelsea M. Cameron

As a kid, I was pretty obsessed with dinosaurs and the day that my parents took me to Dinosaur National Park, I didn't think life could get any better. — Chelsea Clinton

If I had seen pictures of people eating each other on the wall, I would've told him I was into cannibalism. — Chelsea Handler

And there he was. Standing not five feet away from me. It took me a second to realize, and then I was airborn and throwing myself at him. — Chelsea M. Cameron

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "Are you seriously going out with a dagger strapped to your back? You might as well just wear a sign that says Look at me, I'm a killer! — Chelsea Fine

So many people: Lucille Ball is the earliest incarnation of a woman I thought was funny, Joan Rivers, Roseanne, Carol Burnett, Gilda Radnor, down to current times, where you have Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, and Kristen Wiig. — Chelsea Peretti

People ask me why I'm so hard on men. It's because they've gotten a really easy ride. And it's not that I think women should take over the world. But I do think it should be 50/50. — Chelsea Handler

I love the 6 Nations rugby. I feel very Scottish then. I feel very Scottish now, sitting in the middle of Chelsea. But that's part of our heritage - being part of Britain, part of Europe. I love being European. — Rory Bremner