Appropriate Appropriate Jokes Quotes & Sayings

I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid. — Drew Carey

I've had a lot of success over the years racing in New York, but the main point is that I feel the marathon is a different event, a lot more my event. — Paula Radcliffe

Thrift is of great revenue. — Marcus Tullius Cicero

Son, if you were any farther from fine you'd be in Nebraska. — Deborah Blake

I don't really find girls to be any more dramatic or delicate than boys; I've known plenty of little boys who've had miserable breakdowns over things ... in fact, I was one of them! — Harry Connick Jr.

Every moment spent in unhappiness is a moment of happiness lost. — Leo Buscaglia

Dear though the reader might be, I'd be silly to cater to what the reader wanted. — Vikram Seth

I wish I had an extra day with my mom sometimes. Or another hour in the day with my family, husband and children. — Mary J. Blige

Quit planning your dream and start living it. — Alan Cohen

Luck always seems like it belongs to someone else. — David Levien

I LOVE WAL-MART. I CONSIDER MY JOKES TO BE VERY JEUVINILLE. STUFF A 14 YEAR OLD WOULD LAUGH AT BECAUSE THATS THE SENCE OF HUMOR I HAVE. ALL THE STUFF I TALK ABOUT MAY NOT BE APPROPRIATE FOR CHURCH GROUPS HOWEVER WAL-MART AINT SUNDAY SCHOOL. AS LONG AS I DIDNT USE OFFENSIVE FOUL LANGUAGE I KNEW ID BE FINE. WAL-MART GETS IT, THATS WHY THEY BLOW AWAY THE COMPETITION. BESIDES ITS THERE STORE THEY CAN DO WHAT THEY WANT. THATS AMERICA BABY! — Larry The Cable Guy

There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it's a joke. — Michael Scott

For 35 years, I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren't funny. Some of them weren't appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that. — Al Franken

My grandfather was Scottish, born in the slums of Glasgow. — Trinny Woodall

Comrades, we are going to try to cheer you up, and our sense of humor will help us in this endeavor, although the phrase gallows humor has never seemed so logical and appropriate. The external circumstances are exactly in our favor. We need only to take a look at the barbed wire fences, so high and full of electricity. Just like your expectations.
And then there are the watchtowers that monitor our every move. The guards have machine guns. But machine guns won't intimidate us, comrades. They just have barrels of guns, whereas we are going to have barrels of laughs.
You may be surprised at how upbeat and cheerful we are. Well, comrades, there are goods reasons for this. It's been a long time since we were in Berlin. But every time we appeared there, we felt very uneasy. We were afraid we'd get sent to the concentration camps. Now that fear is gone. We're already here. — Rudolph Herzog

...she doesn't want to become the kind of person who thinks that good news can only come from calls one was already expecting and callers one already knows — Gabrielle Zevin

A donkey appears to me like a horse translated into Dutch. — Georg C. Lichtenberg

Still the king would have turned away, but Schmendrick touched his arm and leaned near. "It's true, you know," he whispered. "But for him
but for them all
the tale would have worked out quite another way, and who can say that the ending would have been even as happy as this? You must be their king, and you must rule them as kindly as you would a braver and more faithful folk. For they are your fate. — Peter S. Beagle

Christ gave up his life for you so that you could have a genuine zeal to do good works. Paul calls upon Christians to be good works zealots or good works extremists - to be absolutely committed in every way to doing good for others. — Tim Challies

It's not appropriate to joke about the Ku Klux Klan. — Mitt Romney