Andrea And Kate Quotes & Sayings

Are you happy?
When I can get out of my own way.
And the rest of the time?
The rest of the time I'm in a state of silent panic. I'm afraid it will end. I'll lose him. Lose everything.
I've done that. Lost everything. It's a bitch. — Ilona Andrews

I know you'll tell me to fuck off, but I think Curran loves you. Truly loves you. And I think you love him, Kate. That's rare. Think about it
if he really stood you up, why would he be so pissed off about the whole thing? You both can be assholes of the first order, so don't let the two of you throw it away. If you're going to walk away from it, at least walk away knowing the whole picture."
"You're right. Fuck off. I don't need him," I told her. — Ilona Andrews

It's not a loup cage, you know,' I told her. 'It's a holding cell. Or safe room. or secure room. I don't think Jim ever settled on a term he could live with.'
'Aha. It's a loup cage.' Andrea cleared her throat. 'I touched it with my finger and it hurt. Is that in case of marital problems? — Ilona Andrews

I was a knight," Andrea said. "I'm not just going to start shooting every dickhead who mouths off to me."
"Just making sure."
"Besides, if I shot him, I'd do it so nobody could trace it back to me. I'd shoot him somewhere remote, his head would explode like a melon, and they would never find his body. He would just vanish. — Ilona Andrews

One day I'll kill him, you know.
I glanced at her. She was deadly serious. — Ilona Andrews

Andrea, in less than twelve hours, Atlanta will be full of demons. They will kill, feed, and release more demons. What emergency is more important than this one?
She hesitated. "I'm not supposed to disclose this. There's a man. His name is Roland ... "
I almost punched the wall. "What is he doing that's so damn crucial? What, is he building another tower? It will fall like all his other ones. Or did his eye finally grow back and he decided to have a battle to celebrate? — Ilona Andrews

We don't need teenage bouda sex fiends as interns.
How do you know he is a sex fiend?
He is fifteen and he's a bouda. Hello? — Ilona Andrews

How did your day go?"
"I got some head. It was vamp, but still."
I stared at her. Kate was the last person I would have expected to make that joke. Well, someone had loosened up since mating. "That good, huh."
"Yup. — Ilona Andrews

A shadow crossed Andrea's face. "I don't want to be his TWT-IHFB." "What does that mean?" "That Weird Thing I Haven't Fucked Before." I choked. — Ilona Andrews

I snapped the crossbow into the top of the mount, took a canvas bundle from the cart, and unrolled it. Crossbow bolts, tipped with the Galahad warheads.
"This is my baby." I petted the stock.
"You have a strange relationship with your weapons," Roman said.
"You have no idea," Raphael told him.
"This from a man with a living staff and a man who once drove four hours both ways for a sword he then put on his wall," I murmured.
"It was an Angus Trim," Raphael said.
"It's a sharpened strip of metal."
"You have an Angus Trim sword?" Kate's eyes lit up.
"Bought it at an estate auction," Raphael said. "If we get out of this alive, you are invited to come to my house and play with it."
It was good that Curran wasn't here and I was secure in our relationship, because that totally could be taken the wrong way. — Ilona Andrews

I have a vamp body for you," Andrea said. "It's in the freezer."
I gave her a nice smile. "You shouldn't have. — Ilona Andrews

And Raphael will be joining us," Andrea said. "So you get twice the backup. Nobody will be killing you on our watch."
So that was what this was all about. I got a cookie after all. "Aww. I had no idea you cared. I'm touched."
"You should be." Andrea bit another bacon slice. "I'm willing to abandon the tender embrace of my future mother-in-law for your sake."
"About that," Aunt B said. "I'm coming, too."
Dear God, the cookie was poisoned."
12% in 'Magic Rises' by Ilona Andrews — Ilona Andrews

Andrea once told me that I had a problem processing emotional pain. I couldn't handle it, so I replaced it with physical pain instead: either I inflicted it on others or I suffered through it myself. Well, I had physical pain aplenty. If she was right, I should be floating on a cloud of bliss right about now. — Ilona Andrews

Who is Hunter Becker?"
"Becker the Gory? Lighthouse Keepers? Boston?"
"I would've preferred Becker the Easiley Surrendering or Becker the Quite Reasonable, but beyond that his name tells me nothing. — Ilona Andrews

Other pirates leaped over the railing. One, two ... seven ... thirteen. A baker's dozen. Wait, fifteen. Eighteen ... Twenty-one. The odds weren't in our favor.
"Maybe they just came over to borrow a cup of sugar," I said.
Andrea barked a short laugh. Curran put his hand on my shoulder. "That's a lot of sugar. Must be a big cake. — Ilona Andrews

She put her hands over her face. Ah crap. What do I do now? Do I say something, do I not say something? I kept talking, keeping my voice as light as I could manage. Her shoulders shook slightly. She was crying. Fuck me. I sat there, not sure what to do with myself. — Ilona Andrews

I got a dog-training book. It says Grendel needs mental stimulation, so I tried to train him, but I think he must be retarded. — Ilona Andrews

It's like you had a coming-out party," Andrea said. "You've been presented to polite society, except now everybody wants to kill you."
"Spare me."
"Kate Daniels, a debutante." Andrea grinned.
"It's not funny."
"It's hilarious." The smile slid off Andrea's face and she vomited on the snow.
"Karma," I told her. — Ilona Andrews

I held my hand out. "Give me a grenade."
Andrea pulled open her backpack and slid a grenade into my palm. "Wait until they start shooting the Jeep. Boom comes first, shrapnel flies second. Count to ten before you run in there. And don't blow the device up."
"Yes, Mother. It's not my first time."
"That's the thanks I get for trying to keep you alive, Your Highness. — Ilona Andrews

You're letting him get to you. You're like a walking mythological encyclopedia, Kate. You pull random mystical crap out of your head and figure out that a giant monster nobody has seen on the face of the planet for three thousand years is allergic to hedgehogs and then you find a cute hedgehog and stab the monster in the eye with it."
"Where do you even get this shit? — Ilona Andrews

Kate smirked.
"What?"
"Your horse looks pink."
"So?"
"If you paste some stars on her butt you'll be riding My Little Pony."
"Bugger off." I patted the mare's neck. "Don't listen to her, Sugar. You are the cutest horsey ever. The correct name for her color is strawberry roan, by the way."
"Strawberry Shortcake, more like it. Does Strawberry Shortcake know you stole her horse? She will be berry, berry angry with you."
I looked at her from under half-lowered eyelids. "I can shoot you right here, on this road, and nobody will ever find your body. — Ilona Andrews

Do you have spies in Clan Heavy?"
"I have spies everywhere."
I looked at Andrea, who was hoarding bacon on her plate.
"She had tea with Mahon's wife." Andrea said.
Aunt B looked at her. "You and I need to work on your air of mystery. — Ilona Andrews

Kate?"
I have a superior reaction time. That was why although I shot out of my chair, jumped onto my desk, and attempted to stab the intruder into my office in the throat, I stopped the blade two inches before it touched Andrea's neck. Because she was my best friend, and sticking knives into your best friend's windpipe was generally considered to be a social faux pas.
Andrea stared at the black blade of the throwing dagger. "That was great," she said. "What will you do for a dollar? — Ilona Andrews

I turned to the courtyard and waved at Roman and the witch next to him.
"Is that his sister?" Andrea asked me.
"No." I had spoken with both of them. "I'd asked her that. Her name is Alina, she isn't his sister, and she feels deeply sorry for his sisters, because if she had to put up with being in his presence for longer than a day, she would throw herself off the nearest bridge just to end the agony."
"Well," Andrea said. "Glad she cleared that up. — Ilona Andrews

What do you mean fainted?
Took a dive, kissed the pavement. Swooned like a southern belle after her first kiss. Had a dreadful case of the vapors. — Ilona Andrews

Would you like to work here with me?
We have no clients and the pay is shit. — Ilona Andrews

We can do subtle," I assured her.
"It's our middle name," Andrea added.
For some odd reason Rene didn't look convinced. — Ilona Andrews

Where is the bane of my existence?"
"In the shower, freshening up."
Damn it all to hell. "Oh God, who did Ascanio screw now?"
"No, no, he's covered in blood."
"Oh good." Wait a minute. "The kid is covered in blood and we're relieved. There is something wrong with us. — Ilona Andrews

He glued the chair to my ass."
Silence.
"Is it still ... attached?"
"I can't get it off. — Ilona Andrews

Did those nice church ladies come by again?"
He nodded. "I asked them if a man died and then the woman remarried, and then the three of them met in heaven, would it be a sin for them to have a threesome, since they were all married in God's eye. And they decided they were late to be somewhere else. — Ilona Andrews

Andrea: " ... I think a dog is a great idea. I just never pictured you with a mutant poodle."
Kate: "He isn't a poodle. He's a Doberman mix."
Andrea: "Aha. Keep telling yourself that. — Ilona Andrews

So how was it?" she asked. "Kissing Curran?"
"I can't let him kiss me again, because if he does, I'll sleep with him."
Andrea blinked. "Well," she said finally, "At least you know where you stand. — Ilona Andrews

Her face looked like it would shatter any second. — Ilona Andrews

Are you sure you know where you're going?" Andrea frowned.
"Would you like me to pull over and ask that bamboo for directions?"
"I don't know, do you think it will answer?"
We peered at the bamboo.
"I think it looks suspicious," Andrea said.
"Maybe there is a heffalump hiding in it."
Andrea stared at me.
"You know, heffalump? From Pooh Bear?"
"Where do you even get this shit? — Ilona Andrews

Who is there with you?"
"Raphael"
Kate's voice snapped. "I'll be in Atlanta in three hours. Where are you?"
"I said it's nothing major."
"Bullshit. You wouldn't work with Raphael unless the Apocalypse was imminent and that was the only way to prevent it. — Ilona Andrews

I have had it up to here with my wedding," I said. "The other day Andrea tried to explain to me that apparently I am supposed to have a new thing, an old thing, a blue thing, and something stolen."
"Borrowed, Kate," Barabas murmured.
"Who the hell even makes up those rules? — Ilona Andrews

Aha," Andrea said. "I'm going to ignore that you just referred to yourself as 'sugar woogums'. — Ilona Andrews

Andrea raised her hand. "This is the hand that slapped Aunt B."
"Maybe you should have it gold-plated."
"Here, you can touch it, since you're my best friend. — Ilona Andrews

Screw that. We're going to lunch." "It's almost dinnertime." "Then we're going to dinch. Or lunner. Or whatever the hell early-dinner-late-lunch stupid combo we can come up with." "Now isn't . . ." Andrea's eyes blazed. "Kate, I'm nine months pregnant and I'm hungry. Get in the damn car." I got in the Jeep, and Andrea peeled out like a bat out of hell. "We're — Ilona Andrews

It's your duty as my best friend to be outraged with me."
"I'm outraged!" I snarled. "That bastard!"
"Thank you," Andrea said. — Ilona Andrews

Andrea raised her eyebrows. "Look at you, all high-speed."
"Yeah, you'd think I was a detective or something."
Andrea held her hand out. "You'll jinx it. — Ilona Andrews

Tension fled from me. Tomorrow I would worry about Hugh d'Ambray and Andrea and
Roland, but now I was simply happy. Aaahh. Home. My place, my smells, my familiar rug under my feet, my kitchen, my Curran in the kitchen chair ... Wait a damn minute.
You! — Ilona Andrews

Andrea turned her back to Desandra and rolled her eyes. Raphael grimaced. They both looked scandalized. Dear God, what could she have said to scandalize a bouda ...
"No, really!" Desandra nodded. "Okay, so most guys don't have a nice ball sack, right? It looks all hairy and wrinkled like some small animal died between their legs, but Gerardo's is like two plums in a velvet bag ... "
Derek, who'd been lingering in the doorway, took a careful step to the left behind the wall and disappeared from my view.
Kill me, somebody. I raised my hand. "Hold that thought. I need to borrow Andrea for a minute."
I grabbed her arm and pulled her into the hallway. Behind us Raphael growled, "Don't leave me!"
Andrea leaned towards me. "Plums."
"Listen ... "
Andrea raised her hands, imitating holding plums the size of small coconuts, and moved them up and down. — Ilona Andrews

Andrea stared at me. "You're not taking me seriously!"
"That's probably because you're not excited enough," Derek said. "You should clench your fists like they do in the movies, shake them, and yell, 'This is bigger than any of us! It goes all the way to the top! — Ilona Andrews

Derek, you just don't say things like that to a woman. Keep going this way and you'll spend your life alone."
"Don't change the subject. Andrea is cool. And she smells nice. It will be okay."
Apparently I was supposed to sniff people to determine their competence. "How do you know?"
He shrugged. "You just have to trust her. — Ilona Andrews