Amusing Lines Quotes & Sayings

Well, now there's a remedy for everything except death. — Miguel De Cervantes

jokes are used to hide the truth! — Eric Jerome Dickey

Should God create another Eve, and I
Another Rib afford, yet loss of thee
Would never from my heart; no no, I feel
The Link of Nature draw me: Flesh of Flesh,
Bone of my Bone thou art, and from thy State
Mine never shall be parted, bliss or woe. — John Milton

The forecast was cloudy with extended periods of consciousness, followed by a stitch in my side and a sense of impending doom swelling to a symphony of demolition — Edward Morris

The elflocks of the crowd were every color of the rainbow, as was the light from their eyes that shone through the mask of the Arkadian winter night. Some of them had wings, but not gauzy gossamer tattooist fabulosities. The wing'd ones among them bore twin sails at their backs, reptilian bat bones folded and hooded just above their heads in taloned, Gothic arches of epidermis. — Edward Morris

The house of God doesn't get terribly good reception, I'm afraid. — Philip Hemplow

Ian's eyes settled on him, his expression grim. He bypassed everything, coming to a stop in front of the nervous young male. "I want all of your medicines to relieve fever, including liquids and capsules. Plus, I want a thermometer, the best one you have, and make sure it's not rectal." He narrowed his eyes at the wide-eyed clerk in front of him. "I don't do rectal, and I won't use anything that involves an ass. — Rose Wynters

We wouldn't pay to rent and watch the same painful movie two hundred fifty times, but somehow we let our mind replay a bad memory over and over, each time experiencing the same distress and shame. — Jan Chozen Bays

At some moments, you feel attracted to someone of the same sex, even if it's not sexual. You just want to be like him. — Takashi Miike

Of this fickle temper he gave a memorable example in Ireland, when sent thither by his father, Henry the Second, with the purpose of buying golden opinions of the inhabitants of that new and important acquisition to the English crown. Upon this occasion the Irish chieftains contended which should first offer to the young Prince their loyal homage and the kiss of peace. But, instead of receiving their salutations with courtesy, John and his petulant attendants could not resist the temptation of pulling the long beards of the Irish chieftains; a conduct which, as might have been expected, was highly resented by these insulted dignitaries, and produced fatal consequences to the English domination in Ireland. It is necessary to keep these inconsistencies of John's character in view, that the reader may understand his conduct during the present evening. — Walter Scott

I was in the neighborhood," he said, answering the question I was about to ask. His lips twitched. "You know, wandering around, trying to be a hero. — Brodi Ashton

For just a little while, in all our lives, we're granted brief glimpses at the way things really operate. In those times, we learn the hardest lessons. To coin a few phrases, there are none so blind as those who will not see ... and sometimes, the sweetest kittens have the sharpest claws. — Edward Morris

Sometimes I'll be channel surfing or something, and I'll see a glimpse of something, and I'll quickly turn the sound down, and then what I look at, that's an interesting movie. But it's not me who made it. It's whoever that guy I was 10 years ago who made it. — Andrew Niccol

So Jason, in England, do you eat these 'Farmer burgers?'" Wong Tong asked.
"Farmer burgers? I don't know what they are?"
"Maybe I have the name wrong. I remember the name from the song," Wong Tong explained.
"What song?" Jason asked.
"You know the 'E, I, E, I, O' song."
'E, I, E, I, O' song?
Jason started to roar with laughter. He tried to speak but was laughing, much to the annoyance of Wong Tong. He held his chest, laughing still hurt his ribs.
"You mean the 'Old Macdonald had a farm' song. You mean Macdonald's burgers," he said, laughing. "Yes, I have had them. They're good. — Mark A. Cooper

Kind souls, you wonder why, love you, When you, you wonder why, love none We love, Fool, for the good we do, Not that which unto us is done! — Coventry Patmore

Man should strive to be a gentleman in a barbaric world, merciful in a merciless time and humane in an inhumane culture. — Seth D.