Altaras Quotes & Sayings

Like any normal fifth grader, I preferred my villains to be evil and stay that way, to act like Dracula rather than Frankenstein's monster, who ruined everything by handing that peasant girl a flower. He sort of made up for it by drowning her a few minutes later, but, still, you couldn't look at him the same way again. — David Sedaris

The reason you often get in comedy is because you're not getting laid. — Demetri Martin

Disease, a simple famine, plagues of locusts everywhere, or a cataclysmic earthquake, I'd accept with some despair, but no, you sent us Congress! Good God, Sir, was that fair? — John Adams

What the hell are those?" Zach pushed at my foot with his finger.

"My boots."

"It looks like your foot's being attacked by a Muppet. — Theresa Paolo

The good thing about getting older is that, as you become less attractive, so you have less desire to go out and conquer everyone you see. — Julian Clary

Children are paparazzi. They take your picture with their minds when you don't want them to see you at your worst. Trust me, they SEE and HEAR everything. — Jamie Lee Curtis

How do you lose a word? Does it vanish into your memory, like an old toy in a cupboard, and lie hidden in the cobwebs and dust, waiting to be cleaned out or rediscovered? — Amitav Ghosh

, I don't think you would just be treated like a member ofan agency. You'd be treated like an asset. And assets don't get to have lives. — Maureen Johnson