Alan Bstard Quotes & Sayings

And if I erase you from my mind, it would be easy. It's loving you beyond a hope and a prayer, that is the hard part. It's not hard to do it. It's hard to stop. — Jennifer Megan Varnadore

I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once. — Mitch Hedberg

Maybe home isn't the place you love, just the place you know best. — Richard Kadrey

Jenny decided that all manifestations of her innocence were futile and appeared defensive. — John Irving

In my spare time I like to stare at shit. I mean, not literally. I like to stare at the TV, or the Internet, or a book, or cat videos. There's a lot of sitting very still and not moving involved. I suspect in a former life I was probably a statue because I am profoundly good at it. — Jenny Lawson

I've always thought of myself as an Expo. I probably had better seasons with the Cubs. The fan base and the bleacher bums at Wrigley Field were so enthusiastic compared to later years with the Expos. — Andre Dawson