Quotes & Sayings About Airlines

Software is inherently complicated. If you say to somebody I want an airline reservation system, to really say what you want in terms of overbooking and fares, and different airlines communicating with each or schedule changes, it's immensely complex. And so you can't write a program that's any simpler than that full specification. — Bill Gates

Ten Delta Airlines baggage handlers were arrested for smuggling drugs into Detroit. Yeah, you can tell Delta was involved, because the drugs were supposed to be smuggled into Chicago. — Jimmy Fallon

Now airlines charge for everything ... If the oxygen mask drops, you have to swipe your credit card to start the flow of the oxygen. — Ellen DeGeneres

We focused on getting popchips into the hands of tastemakers and influencers wherever they were, from the fashionistas at Mercedes Benz fashion week to the passengers on Virgin Airlines. — Keith Belling

I had redesigned my entire amplifier system for this tour because airlines are very strict now. — Lee Ritenour

Then she told me that the Americans with Disabilities Act was recently interpreted as allowing "people with anxiety disorders to travel with an emotional-support pony on airlines." So basically I could bring a goddamn pony on board with me. I'm pretty sure a pony wouldn't fit under my seat or in my lap, but I rather liked the idea of a small medicinal horse standing in the aisle beside me while I braided his mane. — Jenny Lawson

I've produced more pilots than United Airlines, and they've all been disasters. Every audition I ever took in my life I lost. — Willard Scott

Unexpectedly, as a way of saying "sorry" for the stress and inconvenience caused due to our lost possessions, the Emirates Airlines had upgraded our return tickets to first class ones. Therefore, during our flight home we felt we were treated like royalty - as the service was of such a super high class. — Sahara Sanders

Flying for the airlines is not supposed to be an adventure. From takeoff to landing, the autopilots handle the controls. This is routine. In a Boeing as much as an Airbus. And they make better work of it than any pilot can. You're not supposed to be the blue-eyed hero here. Your job is to make decisions, to stay awake, and to know which buttons to push and when. Your job is to manage the systems. — Bernard Ziegler

A lot of faith is placed upon the airline itself. The FAA has never and will never have enough resources to completely monitor the airlines. — Wayne Williams

Keep costs low and spirits high, and the people of Southwest Airlines will keep LUV in the air. — Herb Kelleher

The intriguing aspect of food charges on airlines is that they create the perfect laboratory for any economist who wishes to study the question of how to price a good that possesses, by universal consensus, absolutely no objective value. — Timothy Noah

The only reason people work for airlines is because the Nazi party is no longer hiring. — Iliza Shlesinger

Also, in the category of 'obvious but still shocking,' an animal called a 'killer whale' killed someone who was trying to play with it. Now, no one knows exactly what enraged the whale, but earlier in the week, it had been thrown off a flight by Southwest Airlines. — Bill Maher

You have more baggage than United Airlines. Cross that out. You have more issues than Medusa, and that woman makes the inside of a cat lady's thoughts seem like a calming place. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

In the early years of America's skyjacking epidemic, the airlines were reluctant to let the FBI attempt to end hijackings by force; they feared that innocents would get caught in the crossfire, thereby sparking a wave of negative publicity. — Brendan I. Koerner

Carl Icahn told me to stay away from airlines. In good times, the unions take away the profits, and in bad times, the cost of oil kills you. — Mian Muhammad Mansha

Airport take their own commercial decisions on their ownership structure. But this must not be at the expense of exploiting airlines through higher charges — Giovanni Bisignani

If anyone wonders why the airlines are not doing well it is because flying has been made such an unpleasant and degrading experience. — Keith Henson

Can a physicist visualize an electron? The electron is materially inconceivable and yet, it is so perfectly known through its effects that we use it to illuminate our cities, guide our airlines through the night skies and take the most accurate measurements. What strange rationale makes some physicists accept the inconceivable electrons as real while refusing to accept the reality of a Designer on the ground that they cannot conceive Him? — Wernher Von Braun

The fact is Qatar, Etihad, Emirates, Singapore, Garuda, all of the three Chinese airlines, Air New Zealand - the fact is that international aviation relies very much upon agreements between nation-states, and it is not an area in which you have free market operations. — Anthony Albanese

I never trust the airlines from those countries where the pilots believe in the afterlife. You are safer when they don't. — Muriel Spark

It was over in a blink of an eye, that moment when aviation stirred the modern imagination. Aviation was transformed from recklessness to routine in Lindbergh's lifetime. Today the riskiest part of air travel is the drive to the airport, and the airlines use a barrage of stimuli to protect passengers from ennui. — George Will

The whole concept of the travel agent is absurd. They appear to be agents of the traveller but are actually agents of the airlines. — Stelios Haji-Ioannou

When we first started, we would message all the time, ... He would log on, and mostly we would just message back and forth at the beginning of the relationship. Now, we use the computer, phones, letters, airlines - everything. — Jill Abramson

What opened up the American West was the fact that you owned the real estate. You owned the gold mines, the oil wells. The creation of these, back then, million dollar industries drove the railroads and eventually the airlines to provide this kind of transportation. — Peter Diamandis

In 2009 Southwest Airlines was the largest airline in the world based on the number of passengers that fly the airline each year,30 and in 2011 it was not only America's leading low-cost carrier but was also rated America's favorite airline by Consumer Reports.31 Joe Harris, a labor lawyer for Southwest, explains that the company's harmonious employee relations are no accident. "At Southwest, our employees come first; our customers come second; and our stockholders come third," he said. "The rationale is pretty simple. If we treat our employees right, they're going to treat our customers right. If our customers are treated right, they will come back and our stockholders will benefit."32 — Douglas Van Praet

The easiest gift to give my husband is anything to do with airlines and flying. — Kelly Preston

I rested my forehead on a grease spot I'd left on the window earlier. The airlines, I thought, must have custodians who clean the windows, or there'd be an inches-thick layer of goo on them from people like me.
That thought was proof positive that I shouldn't be allowed to stay up for more than eighteen hours at a time. I have a bad habit of following every thought to its miserable, pathetic little end when I'm tired. I don't mean to. It's just that my brain and my tongue get unhinged. Though some of my less charitable acquaintances would say this condition didn't require sleep deprivation. — C.E. Murphy

The poop became a poop mountain; the pee became a pee ocean. And then somehow a Poop and Pee Airline was invented to fly travelers to Poop Mountain and Pee Ocean, although the code name for the airline was Dolphin Airlines, to keep the unsuspecting from being tipped off. — Lauren Myracle

Marry me," I said without hesitation. I was surprised at how quickly and easily the words came.
His mouth spread into a broad smile. "When?"
I shrugged. "We can book a flight tomorrow. It's Spring Break. I don't have anything going on tomorrow, do you?"
"I'm callin' your bluff," he said, reaching for his phone. "America Airlines," he said, watching my reaction closely as he was connected. "I need two tickets to Vegas, please. Tomorrow. Hmmmmm ... ," he looked at me, waiting for me to change my mind. "Two days, round trip. Whatever you have."
I rested my chin on his chest, waiting for him to book the tickets. The longer I let him stay on the phone, the wider his smile became. — Jamie McGuire

First, we have to lower our costs to levels that are more competitive. This will prevent the lower-cost airlines from pushing us out of the markets we want to serve. We've made great progress on this front, but we need to keep pushing. — Gerard Arpey

Like on the airlines, they say they want to 'pre-board'. Well, what the hell is 'pre board'? What does that mean? To get on before you get on? — George Carlin

Some of the greatest businesses operating from a deeper purpose have a real commitment to service, like Four Seasons, Joie de Vivre hotels, Southwest Airlines, and JetBlue. — John Mackey

I had some airline stock, but the airlines tanked. I didn't have a lot of money in them, though. — Mickey Gilley

Hummingbirds certainly communicate important things to humankind about our world_including the power, grace and beauty that can be found in a very small being. — Leslie Forsberg

There are many people talking about access to space and, 'How can we make that cheaper? How can we turn that into a Southwest Airlines versus the big airlines?' — Buzz Aldrin

By 1931, after a few years' experience of flying scheduled airlines, those planes were operating at roughly 600 times the safety of the space shuttle. I look at safety not in terms of fatalities per passenger-mile, but when you get in and close the door, what is the risk of dying on this flight? — Burt Rutan

And ever since then [I] have set up businesses basically out of frustration. I mean, I set up Virgin Atlantic with one second-hand 747 because I hated the experience of flying on other people's airlines. And I thought, you know, I could try to create the kind of airline that I'd like to fly on. And people liked it. — Richard Branson

People were used to those slow human speeds on both land and sea, to those delays, those waitings on the wind or fair weather, to those expectations of shipwreck, sun, and death. The liners the little white girl knew were among the last mailboats in the world. It was while she was young that the first airlines were started, which were gradually to deprive mankind of journeys across the sea. (The Lover) — Marguerite Duras

This is absolutely bizarre that we continue to subsidize highways beyond the gasoline tax, airlines, and we don't subsidize, we don't want to subsidize a national rail system that has environmental impact. — Joe Biden

Whether it's steamships disrupted by the railroads or railroads disrupted by the airlines, it's typically the large entrenched incumbents that are displaced by innovators. — Peter Diamandis

Funny, isn't it? The airlines go to all that trouble to keep you from taking a gun on board, then they just hand you a dinner roll you could kill a musk ox with. — Dave Barry

I was engaged in what I believe to be the most thrilling industry in the world-aviation. My heart still leaps when I see a tiny two-seater plane soaring gracefully through the sky. Our great airlines awe me. Yet I know they were not produced in a day or a decade. — William A. Patterson

The world is not against you, but the world is a place where bad things happen. It's just true. Airlines crash, people do evil things. A lot of bad things happen and it causes pain. — Philip Yancey

The Airlines lady who travels in the same compartment as us day after day, has bruises on her arms and face today and her eyes keep welling, but no one asks her why. Our eyes dart towards her, but we go back to travelling in too much proximity. Two inches from one another and expressionless. — Amruta Patil

As he walked along the runway, he came upon a United Airlines pilot. "He tried to sit up," Martz said. "I saw a huge triangular hole in his forehead and I told him to just lie still and that help was on the way, but it was too late for him. — Laurence Gonzales

You can divide airlines into two camps: expensive and cheap. But I believe that we will only distinguish between long-haul and short-haul airlines in the future. — Stelios Haji-Ioannou

I do not have a merchandise line. I don't sell knives or apparel. Though I have been approached to endorse various products from liquor to airlines to automobiles to pharmaceuticals dozens of times, I have managed to resist the temptation. — Anthony Bourdain

At American Airlines, we have built a business around the love of travel that has lasted three quarters of a century. And I'm pretty sure we're just getting started. — Gerard Arpey

They swore at airport management, at the TSA, at the airlines, at their useless phones, furious because fury was the last defense against understanding what the news stations were reporting. — Emily St. John Mandel

Truth will always come to light ...
Words; dedicated to the families of the victims- Malaysia Airlines flight MH17
Day in and day out with the light of the sun -
Night after night with the light of the moon;
Piece by piece, we will come closer to the truth. — Kristian Goldmund Aumann

I've never invested in any airline. I'm an airline manager. I don't invest in airlines. And I always said to the employees of American, 'This is not an appropriate investment. It's a great place to work and it's a great company that does important work. But airlines are not an investment.' — Robert Crandall

A lot of airlines have come and gone. — David Neeleman

Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days. — Andy Rooney

Delta Airlines recently proposed giving frequent flyers a controversial perk: the option of paying $5 extra to speak to a customer service agent in the United States, rather than be routed to a call center in India. Public disapproval led Delta to abandon the idea. — Michael J. Sandel

On Thursday, a passenger forced his way into the cockpit of a United Airlines flight from Miami, but was subdued after the co-pilot hit him with a small ax. Good to see our airlines are being kept secure by the latest in 12th century technology. — Dennis Miller

I guess the worst moment I ever had in business was the fear that Southwest Airlines wouldn't get off the ground. — Herb Kelleher

I think there is a shadow network where everybody has infiltrated in terms of hotel concierges, restaurants, will tip off journalists or paparazzi, the airlines, everywhere. — Charlotte Church

When I started working on Southwest Airlines, I kid you not, only people flying on business and very wealthy people ever flew. — Herb Kelleher

Airlines go in the long run at the competition to reason. For the passenger the competition is good, because each competitor tries to undercut the other one. — Niki Lauda

The airlines compete with each other, but Google stands alone. Economists use two simplified models to explain the difference: perfect competition and monopoly. — Peter Thiel

When I go on Japanese Airlines, I really love it because I like Japanese food. — Phil Collins

The closest most people have ever come to understanding what an investment banker does may have been on October 24, 1995, when they heard the outrageous special interest story of the day. The wire services released the story first. It was quickly picked up and parroted by almost every major media outlet in the country as a classic example of Wall Street excess. A fifty-eight-year-old frustrated managing director from Trust Company of the West, on an airplane trip from Buenos Aires to New York City, downed an excessive number of cocktails, got out of his seat in the first-class cabin of a United Airlines flight, dropped his pants, and took a crap
on the service cart. There you have it. That's what bankers do: consume, process, and disseminate. — Peter Troob

The stigma for bus travel has evaporated," says Joseph P. Schwieterman, director of the Chaddick Institute for Metropolitan Development at DePaul University. "People are willing to endure a longer commute for a mobile office benefit." His research found that nearly 60 percent of discount bus travelers used a personal electronic device en route in 2014, up from 46 percent a year earlier, while the numbers held steady at 52 percent for Amtrak and 35 percent for the airlines. The study did not include a separate category for luxury buses. — Anonymous

Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss.
[WHAM! CRUNCH!]
"Look, they nearly missed!"
"Yes, but not quite. — George Carlin

The spirit of Southwest Airlines is exuberant, it's caring, it's dedicated, it's diligent, it's fun, it's rewarding, it's a joy. — Herb Kelleher

If armed terrorists had tried to hijack any of the flights I've been on lately, we passengers would have swiftly beaten them to death with those hard rolls you get with your in-flight meal. Funny, isn't it? The airlines go to all that trouble to keep you from taking a gun on board, then they just hand you a dinner toll you could kill a musk ox with. — Dave Barry

If you would look up bad labor relations in the dictionary, you would have an American Airlines logo beside it. — Elton Joe Kendall

The only thing I don't like is the uneasiness of dealing with the airlines. Everything, except getting from point A to point B, I still find immensely pleasurable. — Verne Lundquist

9:37, the west wall of the Pentagon was hit by hijacked American Airlines Flight 77, a Boeing 757. The crash caused immediate and catastrophic damage. All 64 people aboard the airliner were killed,as were 125 people inside the Pentagon (70 civilians and 55 military service members). One hundred six people were seriously injured and transported to area hospitals.192 While no emergency response is flawless, the response to the 9/11 terror= ist attack on the Pentagon was mainly a success for three reasons:first,the strong professional relationships and trust established among emergency responders; second, the adoption of the Incident Command System; and third, the pursuit of a regional approach to response. Many fire and police agencies that responded had extensive — Anonymous

When I read that Malaysia Airlines flight MH370 had disappeared - a state-of-the-art Boeing 777, said to be an incredibly safe way to travel - I waited patiently for the chance to learn what happened. — Henry Rollins

This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What this means for you, the consumer, is that the airlines are no longer required to follow any rules whatsoever. They can show snuff movies. They can charge for oxygen. They can hire pilots right out of Vending Machine Refill Person School. — Dave Barry

The Asian airlines have the best wine programs. — Alain Ducasse

In the '80's my gut feeling was that airlines were crap. I hated spending time on planes. I thought we could create the kind of airline I'd like. So we got a secondhand 747 and gave it a go. — Richard Branson

How far can the airlines go?" replied a clearly irritated TWA spokesman when asked whether his employer planned to make any changes to its boarding procedures. "Restrict everyone from the terminal except those who have a ticket? Stop everyone from entering the airport area except those who — Brendan I. Koerner

I was a mechanic in the Navy. And mechanics in the Navy are like mechanics in airlines. You may have more stripes than I do, but you don't know how to fix the airplane. — Gordon Bethune

Anyone wanna buy my Malaysian Airlines frequent flier miles? — Jason Biggs

I don't visit my parents often because Delta Airlines won't wait in the yard while I run in. — Margaret Smith

I don't care what the airlines say, there is no such thing as a non-stop flight. — Steve Trotter

The most consequential act of state ownership in the twentieth-century western world was not the nationalization of airlines or the nationalization of railways or the nationalization of health care, but the nationalization of the family. — Mark Steyn

Over the last six years, airlines have experienced severe financial pressure to leave smaller communities, making demands on the EAS program even greater. — Nick Rahall

Look, I think that when we started Virgin Atlantic 30 years ago, we had one 747 competing with the airlines that had an average of 300 planes each. Every single one of those have gone bankrupt because they didn't have customer service. They had might, but they didn't have customer service, so customer service is everything in the end. — Richard Branson

Life sucked and then they billed you for it. Kind of like how airlines charged you money before you got on a plane so that in the event they screwed up and killed you, they were already paid, and they wouldn't have to give you a refund. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

I flew out here on Southwest Airlines. Southwest has a plane that's painted like Shamu the whale from Sea World. Yeah, that'll be easy to find if that went down in the ocean. That'll be nice, when you're trying to get out and a real whale's humping your window. — Robert Schimmel

America, the land of the free, is turning itself into the land of the free ride. [U.S. airlines] are operating in protected markets. They are hoovering up public funds and they still can't make a profit. — Rod Eddington

Oh no. Oh, hell no. Merciful God above. Jake looked around for Aileen, his latest conquest and plus one for the engagement party for his brother Travis. "Yes, I need only a one-way ticket," Grandma announced loudly to the Alaska Airlines clerk at the kiosk. Jake watched with a mixture of horror and panic as his grandmother bought a ticket on the same flight as him. please let her credit card be declined; please, please. "Here you go!" The evil lady handed over a boarding pass and smiled at Grandma — Rachel Van Dyken

You should definitely have a travel agent. Why go through all the hassle of dealing with airlines, hotels, and rental-car agencies yourself, only to see the arrangements get all screwed up, when with just a single phone call you can have a trained professional screw them up for you? — Dave Barry

You never know about the deaths you didn't die: the mountain peaks you missed, the collisions that didn't happen. It's a warm, cosy feeling. It's the way the airlines fly. — Gavin Lyall

United [Airlines] sucks, man. I've got like a million miles and they never bump me to first class because they think I'm just a kid and give the seat to some schmoozy guy in a business suit. — Shaun White

She saw them as she approached, exactly as described. Small men, wiry, bearded, dark haired and dark skinned. They had overalls unbuttoned to the waist, with undershirts beneath, and ear defenders around their necks, and elbow protectors around their elbows, and knee protectors around their knees, and see-through ID panels around their biceps, all items firmly held in place with thick elastic straps. The IDs were from the airport. The bearers worked for a freight forwarding company known to have excellent relationships with the cargo divisions of many Middle Eastern sovereign airlines. The messenger said, "The Mercedes-Benz was named for a customer's daughter." The — Lee Child

In a couple of days after our arrival, it already became clear that our things were lost forever and would never be found. They put in the paperwork that Emirates Airlines had lost it, although we knew for sure it was all stolen by those girls in the airport of our first departure. — Sahara Sanders

The year I snuck an interracial lesbian couple into the background of an American Airlines commercial, I was feeling particularly flush. — Augusten Burroughs

Law of Airlines: The shorter the time between flights, the greater the distance between gates. — Doug Larson

The music and airlines businesses are tough, but I've been successful in them. — Tony Fernandes

#NoShade, but if United Airlines were a person, it would be Mischa Barton, just real basic AF. — Phoebe Robinson

People hear from Donald Trump that he's such an extraordinary success. They didn't know about Trump airlines and Trump mortgages and Trump vitamin network and Trump steaks and Trump Taj Mahal. They didn't realize a lot of small people have been crushed by Donald Trump's rise to become a very wealthy man, successful financially, but this is a guy who has not been a uniform success. — Mitt Romney

You can't just come out and say what you have to say. That's what people do on airplanes, when a man plops down next to you in the aisle seat of your flight to New York, spills peanuts all over the place (back when the cheapskate airlines at least gave you peanuts), and tells you about what his boss did to him the day before. You know how your eyes glaze over when you hear a story like that? That's because of the way he's telling his story. You need a good way to tell your story. — Adair Lara

Discord Airlines is now boarding for takeoff. — Gayla Drummond

Governments have supported airlines as if they were local football teams. But there are just too many of them. This is the only industry I know that has lost money consistently and makes money infrequently. — Richard L. Hanna