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I wore my suit and the polka-dot tie. As soon as I spotted Malta Kano, I tried to walk in her direction, but the crowd kept getting in my way. By the time I reached the bar, she was gone. The tropical drink stood there on the bar, in front of her now empty stool. I took the next seat at the bar and ordered a scotch on the rocks. The bartender asked me what kind of scotch I'd like, and I answered Cutty Sark. I really didn't care which brand of scotch he served me, but Cutty Sark was the first thing that came to mind. — Haruki Murakami

The public is tired of politicians professing certain beliefs and not acting on those beliefs. They want elected officials who have the moral courage to do what they will say they will do when they're running for election. — Colonel Tom Parker

How easy it is to read the Scriptures and give a kind of nominal assent to the truth and yet never to appropriate what it tells us! — D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones

All Beings are owners of their Karma. Whatever volitional actions they do, good or evil, of those they shall become the heir. — Gautama Buddha

I'm not a strict vegetarian. I do eat beef and pork. And chicken. But not fish 'cause that's disgusting! How do you know when fish goes bad? It smells like fish either way! 'Hey this smells like a dumpster, lets eat it!' — Jim Gaffigan