Administration Funny Quotes & Sayings

This is a perfect example of the power and ridiculousness of a website like Wikipedia. I did give a slightly contentious graduation speech, where I decided not to be funny as my classmates had hoped, which was why I was chosen. I was not valedictorian, that's for sure. Instead, I talked about the failure to communicate between the administration and the teachers and students. That's what was contentious about it. At some point, somebody wrote about that incident on my Wikipedia page. And then somebody added the bit about me exposing my genitals to the crowd. — Nick Kroll

Former vice president Al Gore has devoted his post-administration years to a mission to tell the world about global warming. It's funny, but in his civilian life Gore has discovered the voice that voters had trouble hearing when he ran for president in 2000. The voice he has found is clear, impassioned, and moving. — Graydon Carter

When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government, the fundamentalists say that we and the Bush Administration are in the same camp. The funny thing is that human rights activists and Mr. Bush can never be situated in the same group. — Shirin Ebadi

They are people who, by and large, think the Administration's policy - and the Iranian case is a classic one - is very stupid. They can't get that view in, and so by talking to me, they accomplish something. It's a way of saying, this ought to be discussed, we got to get this out. That's a form of patriotism, in a funny way. — Seymour Hersh

All over the world kids and women [are] getting killed right now over beliefs, this is silly to get angry over. If it bothers you just don't attend I'm down for anything positive but this doesn't affect our parties too much. I'm not the promoter, I actually had nothing to do with the rules being implemented, but I do agree with my team. And cause of who I am, I'm the de facto speaker. I have thick skin so u guys that consider yourself PLUR can attack me all you want it doesn't bother me. I'm just here for the music. — Diplo

I'm in a situation with this girl that's as hopeless as overthrowing the Bush administration. — Aziz Ansari

Vodka is kind of a hobby. — Betty White

Sometimes it's not how much light you use to get an effect, it's how
little you use and still make it work. There are a lot of rules to be
broken in photography, and you've got to have courage. — James Wong Howe

I think people are always nostalgic for a time about 20 years before they were born. — Lisa Loeb

Books - the closeness of them, their contact, their smell, and their contents - constitute the safest refuge against this world of horror. They are the most pleasant and the most subtle means of traveling to a more compassionate planet. How will Boualem go on living now that they have separated him from his books, his most invigorating nourishment? He is like a plant that has been torn from the soil, separated from liquid and light, its two vital necessities. He has been excluded from the life of books. He has been exiled from all the landmarks of his childhood: values trampled, symbols corrupted, spaces disfigured and wrecked. — Various

The war between the artist and writer and government or orthodoxy is one of the tragedies of humankind. One chief enemy is stupidity and failure to understand anything about the creative mind. For a bureaucratic politician to presume to tell any artist or writer how to get his mind functioning is the ultimate in asininity. — Helen Foster Snow

The sum of the crowd's IQ was far below that of its most modest single member. Mobs have passions, not brains. — Dan Simmons

It is December, and nobody asked if I was ready. — Sarah Kay

I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration. — George Carlin

thou art the best o' the cut-throats — William Shakespeare

I don't want to make the same mistake twice. I don't want to tell myself it's over when it's not. — Jodi Picoult

The world needs more love at first sight. — Maggie Stiefvater

Atheism is cheap on people, because it snobbishly says nine out of ten people through history have been wrong about God and have had a lie at the core of their hearts. — Peter Kreeft

I did have regrets these past six months," he told me quietly. "I found it a curse as much as a blessing, all that time to think. About the things I could have said, that I should have told you ... — Karen Chance

The funny thing is, this is what everyone assumes, that anybody who talks has an axe to grind. I've been around a long time, and yes, there obviously are people who disagree with policy who talk to me, but it's less axes to grind than people who are really motivated. One of the terrible things about this Administration is that nobody wants to hear bad news. — Seymour Hersh

Remember what your grandfather said about the earth's being round at school and flat at home. He was a wise man and taught you what you need to know in Burma. It is the same in politics. Learn the arguments for socialism in the textbooks parrot them pass your exams. Never never argue. But keep within your own head and heart what you and everyone really knows that in the real world it is a system of incompetence and corruption and a project for ruining the country. — Pascal Khoo Thwe

Sometimes it's the crazy people that bring out the best in us — Aishabella Sheikh

It's funny that there was so much disturbance about having a Catholic in the White House with Kennedy, and when we finally get a religion in the White House that's causing a lot of conflicts, and concerns, and disturbances for a lot of people, it's in the Bush Administration. — Roger Ebert

This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What this means for you, the consumer, is that the airlines are no longer required to follow any rules whatsoever. They can show snuff movies. They can charge for oxygen. They can hire pilots right out of Vending Machine Refill Person School. — Dave Barry

The story of the eighties will be the story of the Reagan administration and the many men and women who served in it, some of whom are already out on parole. — Dave Barry