Quotes & Sayings About Addiction Funny

I flopped on the overstuffed kitchen couch and watched him go. I wondered what would happen to all his films and photographs in the upstairs closet - the documentaries on homelessness and drug addiction, the funny short subjects, the half-finished romantic comedy, the boxes of slice-of-life photographs that spoke volumes about the human condition. I wondered how you stop caring about what you've ached over, sweated over. (Thwonk) — Joan Bauer

I had a Velcro wallet in a casino. That sound annoyed the hell out of me. Whenever I lost money, and I opened the wallet, it was like the sound of my addiction. — Mitch Hedberg

Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council. — Chris Rock

It's funny, because my last record was a lot about isolation and people living in separate worlds that other people can't even understand, which drug addiction is the perfect negative example of. — Aimee Mann

There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life. — Doug Stanhope

I said to my friend, "Why do you smoke (cigarettes)?"
He replied, "Because I like to put myself on the line for the welfare and safety of others."
I astonishingly said, "Sorry, I didn't get your point."
He replied, "I want a cigarette-free world. Therefore, I am trying my best to end all the cigarettes from the world. — Saad Salman

Funny how someone can be so beautiful and totally fucked up at the same time. — Missy Anne

Addiction has had such an impact on my life and the people I love, and there really is not a lot about it that is funny. So the last thing I wanted was to give the impression that it's all fun and games, and isn't it funny what she gets away with. — Edie Falco

Funny how addiction was socially acceptable - even a status symbol - when it made people extroverts rather than introverts — Stacia Kane

That night, I dream. And when I wake up I remember watching a film with Nannan about a ventriloquist who went mad, his dummy coming to life and speaking for itself. My dream is like the end of the film where the ventriloquist and the dummy are in the madhouse, all these mad devil-faces pressed against the iron bars of the cell door, laughing as the dummy gets up off his chair and walks towards the ventriloquist who screams. The dummy strangles him. I can't remember in the dream if I was the ventriloquist or the dummy. I'm in a funny mood all day. I don't say much. I don't feel like it. — Dean Lilleyman

Tempted to type meaningless twaddle all the time on Twitter ... with alliteration, no less! — E.A. Bucchianeri

So often with beginning writers, the story that they want to start with is the most important story of their life - my molestation, my this, my horrible drug addiction - they want to tell that most important story, and they don't have the skills to tell it yet, so it ends up becoming a comedy. A powerful story told poorly becomes funny, it just makes people laugh behind their hands. — Chuck Palahniuk

As we celebrate Recovery Month, it is time for Congress to knock down the barriers to treatment and recovery for 26 million Americans suffering the ravages of alcohol and drug addiction. — Jim Ramstad

You know you are a human when a beautiful image appearing on television/computer/smartphone/tab screen appears more alive than a living being.
Basically, we are stupid. — Saurabh Sharma

Why are we so addicted to social media?
Because, our limbic system is craving for rewards, pleasure, acceptance and expansion through mind. — Saurabh Sharma

A smartphone is an e-toy designed for the lonely inner child hidden in each and everyone of us. — Saurabh Sharma

Workaholicism is such a tough addiction to get over. I had to divorce my wife because she was an enabler. — Dave Mordal