Achmed The Dead Terrorist Quotes & Sayings

It was a destructive novel of acquired ideas. To finally wake up in a state of creative anguish, to lose oneself in order to find oneself again, to sleep in the arms of a beautiful student whose name one didn't know, to fall back to sleep over a love poem-that was called existence. The harmonics of artistic creation, of fertile sensibility, of anticipated events-history in movement-that was called a privilege. — Elie Wiesel

Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Knock, knock.
Jeff Dunham: Who's there?
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Me, I kill you! — Jeff Dunham

Xavier would be such a great burger. He's all covered in spread ... — Robert Pattinson

When death, the great Reconciler, has come, it is never our tenderness that we repent of, but our severity. — George Eliot

When you're a single parent, you're often lonely, yet seldom alone. There is no backup ... It is mothering without a net. — Amy Dickinson

When you're on the run, there are a few important skills that every person should have:

1.) Resolve: If you're not in it to win it, you won't last long.
2.) Languages: The more you can speak, the more places you can hide.
3.) Fighting: Learn well, and don't ever let anyone know how well you've learned.
4.) Bartending: Seriously, it's a universally needed skill set. — Melissa Copeland

Achmed 'Two Jews walk into a bar'
No no no no no' Jeff
You don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bastard' Achmed"
-Achmed the dead terrorist and Jeff — Jeff Dunham

Sometimes I'll pick up the "heart of the jungle" fossil on my bookshelf, or pull out my old field notebooks from my desk drawer, warped by Amazonian rains and the river's steam, the scent of the jungle still on their pages. I do this to remind myself that fiction does not have a monopoly on the unbelievable. — Andres Ruzo