Abuse Quotes Quotes & Sayings

Just because someone wakes up one morning and says, "Today I am going to be rich," does not automatically make them rich. So the same is true with forgiveness, it has to come from the heart with meaning, that is when it works best. — Stephen Richards

The repulsive actions of the person who abused you do not identify you. — Tanya R. Liverman

Appeasers will always try to get the least dangerous person to bend to the most dangerous person. This is one of the main problems in dysfunctional relationships. The more mature and rational you are the more you are victimized because, they are aware that you're not going to be as aggressive, destructive, or possibly as abusive and so you are the one who has to bend. You're the one who has to change and this constant rapping of rational people's souls around the prickly irrationalities of other people are what appeasers are constantly doing. — Stefan Molyneux

My hands twitch as they tremble and every nerve and muscle in my body is frozen - numb. — J. Kahele

If a normally kind, agreeable person makes an enemy of you, you ought to ask yourself why. — Joyce Rachelle

If you want to know the real reasons behind that attitude, think of the thought behind that attitude — Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

I can't remember the words she spoke when they finally opened the garage door and yanked me inside, but I was petrified. It wasn't sound Mom's screams or the jolt of her grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me like a rag doll that plagues my memory, but the look of her eyes- wide, wild, and unrecognizable. — Maggie Young

Caught red-handed for exclamation abuse. — Buffy Andrews

You are the custodian of your own happiness. What other people say, do or think does not create a basis for your happiness. It is you who decides your own happiness, just like forgiveness. — Stephen Richards

LOVE is the greatest weapon for the ones who don't believe in it and for the ones who do its an emotional exploitation. — Amit Abraham

True ability is undisturbed by pretentious criticism. — Joyce Rachelle

It's been so long, I don't remember what okay feels like. — Kayla Krantz

For the Christian, the Bible, the Holy Spirit, guidance from trusted leaders and a revelation from your growing personal relationship with God go a long way to provide guidance. Learn to distinguish between spiritual blackmail and Godly Bible-based advice or warnings. Study your religion or belief and know it for yourself, heavy reliance on a third party for prolonged periods will sometimes open you up to possible abuse. — Archibald Marwizi

It is a childish notion that once established, our boundaries will never be transgressed again...We shall have to stand for ourselves repeatedly for the rest of our lives. As we practice doing this, we come to greater ease...Eventually it may float over entirely into the positive realm - becoming only another chance to demonstrated our worthiness. — Maureen Brady

Do the forgiveness and carry on going forward. Leave the worrying to the other person. Eat what is on your plate and leave the rest to them. — Stephen Richards

When you forgive, you are freed from some of the feelings of disapproval and it can contribute to lessening your negative thoughts. — Stephen Richards

Offer yourself forgiveness as a gift. The word 'give' is the basic keyword in the word forgiveness, therefore it relays a meaning therein. — Stephen Richards

You want me to change overnight, Katie, and I'm telling you right now that it's not going to happen. You're asking me to forget years of abuse in a matter of days. — Inger Iversen

Distancing yourself from some painful event is probably the ignition for the process of forgiveness. — Stephen Richards

Pain can cause us to learn no end of lessons, but without resolution there can be no healing! — Stephen Richards

The idea was women on boats. Lifeline Cruises pitched itself to women seeking adventure, whether a daylong adventure in the waters of the San Francisco Bay or a twelve-day adventure from San Francisco to Alaska and back. Passengers did not have to be survivors of breast cancer or domestic abuse, nor was any of the profit of Lifeline Cruises given to such causes, but the language of its radio ads, slippery and clear, managed to convey that this might be so. 'Empowerment' was one of the words. It's daylong cruise boat was named The Wild Lady, from a poem by Emily Dickinson that Lifeline Cruises had made up. Tote bags sold on board broadcast the words of the ad
The wild lady may seem
adrift to those who cannot dream
but within her uncharted wand'ring eyes
a heart beats healthy, strong and wise!
- and below this were the words 'Emily Dickinson. — Daniel Handler

As human beings, we are custom made to be happy. Why then would we want to change the order of things by not being happy? — Stephen Richards

What do worldly (non Self-realised) people do? They feel uneasy the moment a guest arrives. The husband tells his wife, 'you just show that you are upset, so then he will leave!' You get upset or even if you verbally abuse him, the guest will not leave. How can he when it was meant to happen [it is decided]? By getting upset, you are gathering stock (of karma) for the next life, you'll need something to spend in your next life [won't you]? — Dada Bhagwan

All the resentment that lies in your heart is simply causing damage to you mostly. — Stephen Richards

If there ever was someone who had a control over you, someone who could cause you the greatest pain, someone who could ignore your most necessary requirements and someone for whom forgiveness were truly difficult to render, that person is none other than YOU. — Stephen Richards

When we understand love as the will to nurture our own and another's spiritual growth, it becomes clear that we cannot claim to love if we are hurtful and abusive. Love and abusive cannot coexist. Abuse and neglect are, by definition, the opposites of nurturance and care. — Bell Hooks

Sometimes people in abusive situations think they're responsible for the other person's happiness or that they're going to fix them and make them feel better. The practice of equanimity teaches that it's not all up to you to make someone else happy. — Sharon Salzberg

In the process of forgiveness, you can only control your own actions and decisions. — Stephen Richards

Before making a snap judgment, ask yourself if it really is something that has hurt you or simply just made you angry at yourself for allowing it to happen. It's amazing what 'sleeping on it' can do. A new day sees a new beginning. — Stephen Richards

Living your life through negative feelings and memories is doing yourself a dishonour.If you want to change you need to be willing to leave your past wounds behind you. -If you wish to remain stuck in your attachment to past pains then dare to ask yourself exactly why you feel the need to define yourself by your past traumas or tragedies. — Miya Yamanouchi

I grew up missing my mom while she was right in front of me. — Maggie Young

The same zeal and guts with which you were persistent not to forgive is the same zeal and enthusiasm with which you should be able to open up a new relationship with your partner, loved one or friend, one that is founded on commitment and dedication. — Stephen Richards

Being joyous or happy is not something you should feel guilty about. — Stephen Richards

So many lives are in bitterness today not just because of how their pasts were abused, but how they think they were innocent. — Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

Without an understanding of purpose, misuse is inevitable; abuse unavoidable. — Pedro Okoro

Just because you have been through a bad experience does not give you the ticket to keep going back to that situation over and over again and dramatizing it out of proportion. — Stephen Richards

Due to the need to co-exist with these inhuman and inconsiderate people, we will obviously be disturbed by their acts; something which if we look at closely actually means that we too could be affecting some other people negatively every once in a while. — Stephen Richards

When a man strikes another man, he better have a good reason. There is never a good reason for a man to strike a woman. — Dixie Waters

Other people may well not find it relevant that you have forgiven yourself, but you need to know that it is not for them anyway. Everything at the moment is wholly about you. — Stephen Richards

Of course, no government official will ever tell you that the cities may be making the people in them ill. — Steven Magee

In the Mars-and-Venus-gendered universe, men want power and women want emotional attachment and connection. On this planet nobody really has the opportunity to know love since it is power and not love that is the order of the day. The privilege of power is at the heart of patriarchal thinking. Girls and boys, men and women who have been taught this way almost always believe love is not important, or if it is, it is never as important as being powerful, dominant, in control, on top-being right. Women who give seemingly selfless adoration and care to the men in their lives appear to be obsessed with 'love,' but in actuality their actions are often a covert way to hold power. Like their male counterparts, they enter relationships speaking the words of love even as their actions indicate that maintaining power and control is their primary agenda. — Bell Hooks

The minute we put aside our self-righteousness and move away from being the aggrieved, then we are on a healing process. — Stephen Richards

There is a means to every end. A root to any cause. Sometimes the root is more evil than any cause, though it's the cause that is usually most vilified. — Michael Connelly

Don't take life for granted.
Don't compare yourself to others.
Don't run from your problems.
Don't entertain negative people.
Don't abuse your friendships.
Don't hold onto the past.
Don't throw away opportunities.
Don't blame others for your failures.
Don't quarrel over small issues. — Matshona Dhliwayo

Locking ourselves in the situation where we wish for sympathy and want to be looked at as the aggrieved party normally makes us powerless. — Stephen Richards

The only thing that will make us remain glued to being the victim is our failure to handle the emotions that we go through and the pain that overcomes us. — Stephen Richards

The leadership challenge for celebrities and those in the limelight includes turning focus from being self-centred to influencing vulnerable and gullible youngsters, especially teenagers, in a positive way; realising that it is possible to entertain and increase following without promoting societal vices like drug & alcohol abuse, irresponsible sexual behaviour, prejudice of all kinds, criminal heroism, gangsterism and all forms of violence. — Archibald Marwizi

You can learn to heal yourself, learn to understand that the pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow! — Stephen Richards

Love is how you treat someone. — Rick Cormier

Failing to forgive yourself for certain wrongs you committed in the past can create self-dislike. — Stephen Richards

So, what...in the meantime, you just..." He glanced at her then back at the road. "Deny yourself?"

Em gave a half smile at the incredulity in his voice. Clearly it was a foreign concept to him. "It's okay. I have a battery operated boyfriend awaiting my attention when I get home."

He shot her a quick, open-mouthed stare, his lips parted enticingly. He looked so stunned at her admission she couldn't help but laugh.
"Sorry, didn't you know that women did that, too? Did I shock you?"

"Not at all." He recovered quickly, a big smile splitting his profile. "I'm just trying to decide which is sexier. Self-denial or self-abuse. — Amy Andrews

The moment we see beyond our personal desires to be felt sympathy for, that is the time we can actually start the journey to that final destination of true forgiveness. — Stephen Richards

While humans have the propensity to develop a suite of prosocial behaviors, they are also capable of developing antisocial behavior, engaging in substance abuse, experiencing depression, and bearing children at an early age...Young people who develop aggressive behavior tendencies are likely to develop problems with tobacco, alcohol, and other drug use; to fail academically; to have children at an early age;
and to raise children likely to have the same problems. — Anthony Biglan

Instead of treating your child like how you were treated. Treat them with the same love and attention you wanted from your parents while growing up. — Jonathan Anthony Burkett

Remember, forgiveness is not a millstone but a milestone! — Stephen Richards

Your forgiveness or failure to forgive simply takes you nearer or further away from your ultimate goal. There are no two ways to deal with it, there is only one. — Stephen Richards

The idea of always wanting to be the victim in circumstances where you have been offended is a common human trait. Each person wants to be viewed as the aggrieved party. — Stephen Richards

Most survivors tend to be the care-giver rather than the care-receiver. We tend to be good at being spouses and parents, anticipating our loved ones needs, going the second mile when it came to self sacrifice. But seldom can we ask our loved ones to give to us. We fool ourselves into believing we don't need much. — Beverly Engel

Old and cold. High rates of suicide and prescription drug abuse. Look at the inbred faces at the grocery stores and coffee shops, the exercise-deficient kids, the routinized state workers, the sun-deprived adults and isolated third and fourth generation sad cases who've never experienced a meal outside of Lewis and Clark County. Make no mistake; Helena, Montana is old and cold and the rigid, sick antithesis of living. — Brian D'Ambrosio

Forgiveness does carry with it numerous obstacles and one may well be surprised why many people find it a very difficult hurdle to jump over. — Stephen Richards

My personal convictions drive me to join those like-minded, in the recruitment of a growing army without guns, no hatred or prejudice, but with a leadership voice of influence and harnessing resources to create the change they desire. The major problems facing the world, particularly our beloved African continent, will not be won by sanctions, cruelty, ethnic cleansing, revenge, guns or bullets. The challenges are not largely externally motivated, so the platform to change them must shift. Shift from selfish to selfless, from external to internal, from behaviours to beliefs. Some of them are externally sponsored but self-inflicted, whilst most of them are due to greed, short-sightedness, abuse and selfishness. — Archibald Marwizi

Abusive relationships exist because they provide enough rations of warmth, laughter, and affection to clutch onto like a security blanket in the heap of degradation. The good times are the initial euphoria that keeps addicts draining their wallets for toxic substances to inject into their veins. Scraps of love are food for an abusive relationship. — Maggie Young

This pain you are avoiding is a very necessary pain that will make you strong again. — Stephen Richards

Few of us enter romantic relationships able to receive love. We fall into romantic attachments doomed to replay familiar family dramas. Usually we do not know this will happen precisely because we have grown up in a culture that has told us that no matter what we experience in our childhoods, no matter the pain, sorrow, alienation, emptiness, no matter the extent of our dehumanization, romantic love will be ours. We believe we will meet the girl of our dreams. We believe 'someday our prince will come.' They show up just as we imagined they would. We wanted the lover to appear but most of us were not clear about what we wanted to do with them-what the love was that we wanted to make and how we would make it. We were not ready to open our hearts fully. — Bell Hooks

Blaming other people inevitably makes us blame ourselves because if we are pointing the finger at someone, practically, we are pointing it at ourselves as well. — Stephen Richards

Non-alcoholic ways in which parents may not 'be there' for the children can include:
- violence and sexual abuse
- workholism
- gambling
- transquilliser addiction-
- womanizing
- frequent journeys abroad
- death
- suicide
- being unemployed or unemployable
- frequent hospitalisation
- mental or physical handicap
- excessive religiosity
- rigid rules and regulations
- homes where children are never allowed to be themselves but must always be pleasing to adults — David Stafford

When you forgive, it does not mean that you have submitted, it simply means that you have made a choice to stop bearing any grudge. — Stephen Richards

In an unforgiving world, chaos rules. — Stephen Richards

Abuse Is Not Love;Love Is Unconditional Without Stipulations and Restrictions. — Sheree' Griffin

Assuming you are still lost in thought about when exactly you should forgive someone, well the time is NOW. — Stephen Richards

You are NOT an abuse survivor or victim. Leave your labels elsewhere because they are no longer serving you. — Miya Yamanouchi

Forgiveness is not simply a single act, it is a full process. — Stephen Richards

The pain you have gone through will give you the strength of character to come through it all, so long as you learn from what you have suffered then it was not suffering at all. — Stephen Richards

One way you can trace your way back to real and true happiness and joy is through forgiveness. — Stephen Richards

The pain you feel is simply because you do not yet have the strength to forgive. But you will grow strong again, that is for sure. — Stephen Richards

If we studied the issue of forgiveness with a wider perspective, we are bound to opt for it after all. — Stephen Richards

Indeed, there are demons that must be cast out by exposure and education, for it is the ignorant and the uninformed who fall prey to the evil trickery and abuse of those who sponsor violence, hatred and every form of extremism. At some point, man's Maker cries out, "My people perish because of a lack of knowledge. — Archibald Marwizi

Denial protected us, screening out certain experiences & feelings until we grew strong enough to relate to them...Yet it also dropped a curtain over our experience, obscuring it, leaving us with a sense of missing pieces. For instance, when we achieved something, we felt like an imposter. Or, though we had a relationship with a significant other, we often felt alone and unrelated to anyone. — Maureen Brady

You are not, though, forgiving so as to let others off with things. You are forgiving so that you can empower yourself to get over it and become strong. — Stephen Richards

Believe in Eternity, believe in childhood, believe that the beauty of innocence lives on and on and on. I know it does. — Yann W. Tanoe

Do not allow yourself to be pulled into the role of embracing victimship as some sort of badge of honor to wear or flash around at any opportunity. — Stephen Richards

I forgot to sup
annoyance
from his glass full of
mingled dread and rage
Now let me take
a small draught of solace
from my own little cup
full of predicaments!
From the poem- Draught — Munia Khan

A broken and mended relationship turns out to be stronger than one that has never been broken, almost like how bones can become even stronger once broken and then healed. — Stephen Richards

Sometimes we are very convinced that what we went through needs to be re-lived so we end up going back and forth to the demons of the past and eventually we fail to get over them. — Stephen Richards

Being alone is better than being your whore. — Lori Jenessa Nelson

If love is a form of substance abuse, I hope to die high. — Crystal Woods

The bottom line was that I was in an abusive relationship. — Shannon Celebi

This is particularly true of those who "love too much" and those who tend to lose themselves in their relationships. Sometimes our love becomes distorted by our feelings of insecurity and our fear of abandonment. This is the often the case with those who become overly controlling and overly smothering of their partner. Others become emotionally abusive because of their fear of intimacy. — Beverly Engel

Be alert! Some people have problems. Don't let them be your problem and don't ever allow their problems to infect you through their words and actions! Stay happy! — Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

The practice of forgiving is a sequential practice that begins with excusing someone. — Stephen Richards

Do not be deceived that you are weak because you have forgiven; instead be rest assured that you are now showing great strength - after all, forgiving is one of the most difficult things to do. — Stephen Richards

When you make up your mind to forgive, your happiness will almost automatically follow. — Stephen Richards

We invent what we need to get us by, but in doing so we are really continuing to hold on to the pain of yesterday. — Stephen Richards

If you want to breed something, breed bravehearts, not soulless racehorses. — Abhijit Naskar

Stop looking for that person you were in the past. She has changed. Look for the person she has grown into. She is wiser and stronger than than ever before. Don't go back to who you were. Cherish who you are." --Without a Voice by Chris Pepple — Chris Pepple

Self-criticism and negative thoughts about yourself will attract people who reflect this back to you, showing critical behavior and can abuse you physically. — Hina Hashmi

Bruised, beaten, shaken, weakened, tossed, thrown, lost, alone, heard, helped, healed, hope... it still works. — N'Zuri Za Austin

You can have a pet zebra and put that zebra into a small cage every day and tell the zebra that you love it, but no matter how you and the zebra love each other, the fact remains, that the zebra should be let out of that cage and should belong to someone who can treat it better, the way it should be treated, someone who can make it happy. — C. JoyBell C.

Most men and women born in the fifties or earlier were socialized to believe that marriages and/or committed romantic bonds of any kind should take precedence over all other relationships. Had I been evaluating my relationships from a standpoint that emphasized growth rather than duty and obligation, I would have understood that abuse irreparably undermines bonds. All too often women believe it is a sign of commitment, an expression of love, to endure unkindness or cruelty, to forgive and forget. In actuality, when we love rightly we know that the healthy, loving response to cruelty and abuse is putting ourselves out of harm's way ... Women who would no more tolerate a friendship in which they were emotionally and physically abused stay in romantic relationships where these violations occur regularly. Had they brought to these bonds the same standards they bring to friendship they would not accept victimization. — Bell Hooks

We are threatened with suffering from three directions: from our body, which is doomed to decay ... , from the external world which may rage against us with overwhelming and merciless force of destruction, and finally from our relations with other men ... This last source is perhaps more painful to use than any other. (p77) — Sigmund Freud