Absolutely Fabulous Funny Quotes & Sayings

She'd done things to him he thought only happened to characters in country-western songs, laying waste to his car, his dogs, driving him from his home, and making an outlaw of him. It was almost funny. — Joe Hill

If you think acting like you don't exist isn't the hardest thing I've ever done, you're wrong. I hate not talking to you, I hate not bickering like we're an old married couple, and I hate not spending every day right next to you. But this is how it has to be. Brandon hates me, and, Princess, trust me when I say he has every reason to. So if after everything I've done to you, you'll still even consider being my friend, then it has to be Sundays only. — Molly McAdams

Over the phone, her laughter sounded like a warm bath. — Barbara Kingsolver

Have we reached the point where my intervention will not get me shouted at for being a meddling tomcat who doesn't respect the boundaries of others?" Tybalt stepped out of the shadows behind the Candela, tightening his hand around her throat. "I ask to be polite, you realize. There's no way I'm walking away. — Seanan McGuire

My mother used to play nothing but Billie Holiday. — Etta James

A fly cannot go in unless it stops somewhere; therefore weapons, fuel, food, money will not go to Afghanistan unless the neighbors of Afghanistan are working, are cooperating, either being themselves the origin or the transit. — Lakhdar Brahimi

Would you make a right just up ahead?" he asked.
"And then?"
"I'll show you something."
"More mysteries."
"There's nothing mysterious about it."
"You're the mystery."
He smiled. "Me? — Kai Meyer

We value apology in the abstract, but turn our backs on it in practice. — John Kador

The happy place
Imparts to thee no happiness, no joy
Rather inflames thy torment, representing
Lost bliss, to thee no more communicable;
So never more in Hell than when in Heaven. — John Milton

My sex life became sort of like Diet Coke - deceptively sweet minus nutrition. — Toni Morrison

Yeah, this was pretty much one of those moments when she felt like strangling both of them. Did you guys trip over the dead horse? Please, stop beating it. — Cherrie Lynn

The reason most organizing systems haven't worked for most people is that they haven't yet transformed all the stuff they're trying to organize. As long as it's still stuff, it's not controllable. — David Allen

THERE IS SOMETHING INHERENTLY DECEPTIVE ABOUT REALITY. — Alexandar Tomov