A Week Ago Funny Quotes & Sayings

Three weeks ago, she learned how to drive. Last week she learned how to aim it. — Henny Youngman

No one can rob us of our own soul, and our spirit is already one with the eternal goodness. — Ernest Holmes

Conversation with a view to timely instruction will help to build up a strong Christian character and stimulate growth in grace. — F.F. Bruce

I just want mind-boggling sex tonight, but I don't think you can beat my vibrator. — Anna Bayes

You have to climb to reach a deep thought. — Bill Vaughan

Systems thinking is a state of mind. Once you have this state of mind, you realize how each part of your business flows into the other. — Lisa A. Mininni

It is the truth which is assailed in any age which tests our fidelity. It is to confess we are called, not merely to profess. If I profess, with the loudest voice and the clearest exposition, every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at that moment attacking, I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christianity. Where the battle rages the loyalty of the soldier is proved; and to be steady on all the battle-field besides is mere flight and disgrace to him if he flinches at that one point. — Elizabeth Rundle Charles

The short version is that I started an internet diary a long, long time ago (six years!) because I was bored with my job. I figured I would write a few funny things a few times a week until I had enough material to do stand-up. After two or three weeks, I emailed it to some friends. They emailed it to other friends, and more people started reading. Eventually, I realized that stand-up was scary and it would be much easier to just keep writing this stuff at work. — Jason Mulgrew

As for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great, that I look and do not see, - Listen and do not hear - the tongue moves but does not speak ... I want you to pray for me - that I let Him have free hand. — Mother Teresa

The only thing that has ever consumed me is love from time to time. Feeling like, 'What is it? How do I get it?' — Jim Carrey

What you want to do is not go to work. You're not missing a thing. The worst thing I did was start work young. — Jimmy Breslin