A Nut Job Quotes & Sayings

Jon Spiro had not hired Pex and Chips for their debating sills. In the job interview, they had only been set one task. A hundred applicants were handed a walnut and asked to smash it however they could. Only two succeeded. Pex had shouted at the walnut for a few minutes, then flattened it between his giant palms. Chips had opted for a more controversial method. He placed the walnut on the table, grabbed is interviewer by the ponytail, and used the man's forehead to smash the nut. Both men were hired on the spot. They quickly established themselves as Arno Blunt's most reliable leiutenants for in-house work. They were not allowed outside Chicago, as this could involve map reading, something Pex and Chips were not very good at. — Eoin Colfer

Okay," Jack said. "I'm not really sure what you want from me." "I want you to stop trying to deny every feeling I ever have, Jack. I want you to stop telling me not to feel bad when I already do. I want you to stop telling me I look fine when it's so patently obvious that I don't. I want you to stop being so uncomfortable when things aren't perfect that you immediately start trying to pretend they are." Even as the words were coming out of my mouth, I realized how unfair I was being. Yes, I wanted for him to accept my emotional reality. But only when it suited me. I also wanted him to tell me that the baby would be fine when it was what I needed to hear. At least Jack was consistent. I was a nut job. — Jennifer Coburn

So I'm guessing you're Seven and Ten; What can you do?" I say as I find our rifles in the sand and hand each of them a gun.
"You can call me Marina," the girl with the brown hair says. "And I can breathe under water and see in the dark and heal the sick and wounded. And I have telekinesis."
Call me Ella, I hear ten say in my head. Aside from my telepathy, I can change ages.
"Awesome. I'm four, that nut job with the long black hair is nine and the beast is my chimaera, Bernie Kosar. — Pittacus Lore

He wasn't an addict. He was a self-medicating nut job. — Pam Godwin

Don't beat yourself up about being a nut job. Facebook's made stalkers out of us all. — Suzanne Wright

Check your privilege, Hitler! I'm a nut job, not an asshole. — Rick Remender

The law given from Sinai was a civil and municipal as well as a moral and religious code; it contained many statutes ... of universal application-laws essential to the existence of men in society, and most of which have been enacted by every nation which ever professed any code of laws. — John Quincy Adams

Now, Dr. Anderson, you've been telling us how the world began and how brilliant it was of all the scientists to be able to find it out." He paused and deployed his most innocent smile. "But of course there were no scientists around when the world began." Another pause, "Now I have a question with which Science -- I hope I'm not getting out of my league -- may be more humanly involved." Another pause. "How do you think the worldwill end? — Hugh MacLennan

I need you to be serious right now."
"Probably you shouldn't have drugged me, then."
She rolls her eyes and waves in dismissal. "It was chloroform. You'll be fine."
"And Rayna?"
She knows what I'm asking, and she nods. "She should be waking up right about now." Mom sits back in her chair. "That girl has the personality of a mako shark."
"Says the nut job who chloroformed her own daughter."
She sighs. "One day you'll understand why I did that. Today is obviously not that day."
"No, no, no," I say, palming the air with the universal "don't even" sign. "You don't get to play the responsible parent card. Let's not forget the little matter of the last eighteen-freaking-years, Nalia." There. I said it. This conversation is finally going to happen. — Anna Banks

Attacking the person instead of the argument is condemned in logic, widespread in physics, and not used nearly enough in humanism. — Bauvard

New Rule: Gun-control people have to stop pressuring Starbucks to ban guns. I want my gun nuts overcaffeinated, twitchy, and accident-prone. That way, the problem will take care of itself. Plus, if just one gun nut kills just one pseudo-intellectual writing a screenplay-slash-graphic-novel on his iPad, natural selection is doing its job. — Bill Maher

Who are we, this government or this country, to redefine the term marriage that has meant one man and one woman across cultures, across ages, across geographical barriers since before state and religion themselves? — Tim Loughton

Our lives can change with every breath we take. — Billie Letts

When I am given a multiple choice test I choose not to take it. — Demetri Martin

Actually there's a very bad trend in some cults about how Guru's are supposed to be mean to their students, and there are some who revel in this and are abusive. — Robert Thurman

Don't touch my junk, you airport security goon
my package belongs to no one but me, and do you really think I'm a Nigerian nut job preparing for my 72-virgin orgy by blowing my johnson to kingdom come? — Charles Krauthammer

Big D. November '63. He was there that Big Weekend. He caught the Big Moment and took this Big Ride.
He was a sergeant on Vegas PD. He was married. He had a chemistry degree. His father was a big Mormon fat cat. Wayne Senior was jungled up all over the nut Right. He did Klan ops for Mr. Hoover and Dwight Holly. He pushed high-line hate tracts. He rode the far-Right zeitgeist and stayed in the know. He knew about the JFK hit. It was multi-faction: Cuban exiles, rogue CIA, mob. Senior bought Junior a ticket to ride.
Extradition job with one caveat: kill the extraditee. — James Ellroy

Will I be allowed to drive you this afternoon?" David picked at his salad.
"Oh, about that ... I have a doctor's appointment. I'm riding with Bill and Andy."
David's eyes narrowed. "Are you ill?"
"No." I was hesitant to tell him I was seeing a psychiatrist. I didn't want him to think I was a nut job. — Nely Cab

If you draw a circle, there will always be an inside and an outside, and unless you're a total nut job, it's pretty easy to see which is which. It just happens. — Lauren Oliver

Whenever I meet a real nut job in church, I am always grateful that they are going to church. Imagine how crazy they would be if they didn't have rules to follow. — Jim Gaffigan

Well, put it like this, if you're not a kid, you're a wizard. — Ian Hart

In the world I see you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rock feller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Towers. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying stripes of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighways. — Chuck Palahniuk

The greatest evil of American slavery was not involuntary servitude but rather the narrative of racial differences we created to legitimate slavery. Because we never dealt with that evil, I don't think slavery ended in 1865, it just evolved. — Bryan Stevenson

I don't know who you are; you could be an axe murderer for all I know. How am I supposed to trust you and follow you? For that matter, follow you where?" Gabe inquired.
"Search yourself, what do your instincts tell you?" Uri asked.
"That you're a crazy nut job and freaking me out!" Gabe snapped back. — Wendy Owens

It was like the vine of him had wrapped around her heart and bloomed into a hundred flowers overnight, when she wasn't looking. — Amanda Sun

This is a huge foyer. She spun in a slow circle, taking in the high ceilings.
She'd said the word using its French pronunciation, foy-ay. Cletus said it that way. The rest of us said foy-er, like it's spelled, because we lived in the United States and weren't pretentious nut jobs. Not that I thought Sarah was a pretentious nut job or made such a judgment about all people based on their pronunciation of that single word.
Just Cletus. He said foy-ay and was most definitely a pretentious nut job. — Penny Reid

Strong reasons make strong actions. — William Shakespeare

I loved fast driving.Isaiah and I had drag raced all last summer. What I didn't love was a middle-aged nut job who couldn't steer straight. — Katie McGarry