50 Best Birthday Quotes & Sayings

Everyone over 50 should be issued every week with a wet fish in a plastic bag by the Post Office so that, whenever you see someone young and happy, you can hit them as hard as you can across the face. — Richard Griffiths

At 50, you need to laugh about your age. If you don't, everybody else will do it for you. Happy birthday, old chum! — Helen Hayes

Looking 50 is great, if you're 60. — Joan Rivers

I celebrated [my 50th birthday] by throwing a big bowl on the pottery wheel, then going for a water ski at the lake on our property in the Catskills, and that night, skinny-dipping under the stars. Just being free and joyful. And that's how I [felt] about turning 50. — Marcia Gay Harden

There's nothing stressful about turning 50 except people reminding you about it. — Muhammad Ali

At 50, don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. Happy 50th birthday. — H. H. Asquith

The grandmothers decided on William's eighth birthday that the time had come for the boy to learn the value of money. With this in mind, they allocated him one dollar a week as pocket money, but insisted that he keep an inventory accounting for every cent he spent. Grandmother Kane presented him with a green leather-bound ledger, at a cost of 95 cents, which she deducted from his first week's allowance. From then on the grandmothers divided the dollar up every Saturday morning. William could invest 50 cents, spend 20 cents, give 10 cents to charity and keep 20 cents in reserve. At the end of each quarter they would inspect the ledger and his written report on any unusual transactions. — Jeffrey Archer

You're 60
But honestly it doesn't show
Mind you, you reached the age of consent
About 50,000 consents ago! — John Walter Bratton

I have friends who hide in their bedroom for three days every time they have another birthday. That's what brings the wrinkles! I didn't care when I turned 30 or 40 or 50. — Maria Conchita Alonso

At 50, you probably get muddled?
I'm the same, that's how I know?
If you ever get lost, don't worry?
Just change where you want to go — John Walter Bratton

I always knew that good stuff would come along when I was older. So when I was 18, I longed to be 30; when I was 30, I longed to be 50. I've always looked forward to my next birthday. — Joanna Lumley

At 50, I thought proudly: Here we are, half century! Being 60 was fairly frightening. You want to know how I spent my 70th birthday? I put on a completely black face, a fuzzy black Afro wig, wore black clothes and hung a black wreath on my door. — Bette Davis

Today, you're 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday! — Dave Barry

50 years: here's a time when you have to separate yourself from what other people expect of you, and do what you love. Because if you find yourself 50 years old and you aren't doing what you love, then what's the point? — Jim Carrey

At 50 you now have realized
?Getting old isn't fair?
And that it's hard to make a comeback
?When you haven't gone anywhere — John Walter Bratton

Don't think of 60 as ten years older than 50.
Think of it as only 1 year older than 59
Go ahead, as it's your birthday
Delusion, today, is just fine — John Walter Bratton

You take all the experience and judgment of men over 50 out of the world and there wouldn't be enough left to run it. — Henry Ford

At 50, if you are on a diet on your birthday, you can't eat a piece of your birthday cake. So grab two, a piece in each hand and, lo and behold, you will be on a balanced diet! Happy birthday, old chum! — Abraham Lincoln

I'm amazed. When I was 40, I thought I'd never make 50. And at 50 I thought the frosting on the cake would be 60. At 60, I was still going strong and enjoying everything. — Gloria Stuart

I'm sorry to inform you that your 50 year warranty has expired on your back, knees, and memory. Luckily your lifetime warranty on your heart is still in effect. Of course, that becomes void and expires when you do. — Kin Hubbard