3g Funny Quotes & Sayings

I have other tastes besides comedy. I love comedy. I adore it, but I love dramatic movies just as much. — Jonah Hill

Jesus ... It sounds like these guys would be filed under Assholes Who do Evil Shit in My Name. — Kevin Hearne

The reflections and histories of men and women throughout the world are contained in books ... America's greatness is not only recorded in books, but it is also dependent upon each and every citizen being able to utilize public libraries. — Terence Cooke

She was not suicidal; that is what people never managed to grasp. Cutting relieved the pressure and stood as some enduring demonstration of her emotion, some way to be in control of a body that could toss her about with seizures. It was borderline artistic to mark her body, chiaroscuro designs in blood. Dying is the last thing she would want, like any healthy organism. A little pain, a small invoked sting trailing her arm, brought her much closer to grounded when she could not keep her head from racing, her thoughts from consuming her with obsession. An ounce of liquid weight loss and she could go back to being herself again. Usually. — Thomm Quackenbush

Title: What Can a Thoughtful Man Hope for Mankind on Earth, Given the Experience of the Past Million Years?
Only verse: Nothing. — Kurt Vonnegut

the deathless breath of the city. — Robert Galbraith

We talk about quantum weirdness and things being in two places at once, but it all involves atoms and molecules, stuff we don't normally interact with. — Aaron D. O'Connell

In fact, they have cumulatively spent more than twice as much on mobile apps as their Android-device-owning counterparts, according to mobile-analytics firm App Annie. — Anonymous

We didn't-?" I whisper, my mouth drying in mortified horror as I can't complete the question. I stare at my hands.
"Anastasia, you were comatose. Necrophilia is not my thing. I like my women sentient and receptive," he says dryly. — E.L. James

It seems to me that whatever path you choose to take, in the end its up to each of us to try, test and live what we find out, to apply it and see what actually works, and that's the exciting and challenging part of this very real adventure. — Linus Roache

I really love how Israel operates, and I love the Jewish people. — Joe Arpaio

Don't, he says and then places his free hand underneath mine. — J.A. Redmerski

I take much of the attacks and the criticism toward me as being very class-based, but as Americans we don't like to acknowledge that reality. — Michael Moore

A responsible step in loosening the grip of any lie we might be living is to ask ourselves, solemnly and seriously, this momentous question: "Might I be in the wrong?" What gives this question its power? The answer can be stated very simply: Just to ask the question seriously, even without answering it, is already to undergo a change of attitude. — C. Terry Warner

Mortals that would follow me,
Love virtue, she alone is free,
She can teach ye how to climb
Higher than the sphery chime;
Or if virtue feeble were,
Heaven itself would stoop to her. — John Milton