120 Funny Quotes & Sayings

My instincts are not comedic. — Josh Lucas

How did I know how to do that to a body? Is that what you want to know?"
The boy, holding the tea tray, did not reply.
"I told you. It's exactly the same as cooking. I happen to know how to read."
"The library has stuff on things like that?"
The girl picked up the poker and pushed a maple log back into the fire. "The library has everything. — Laird Koenig

It seems that the people of Oran are like that friend of Flaubert who, on the point of death, casting a last glance at the irreplaceable earth, exclaimed: Close the window, it's too beautiful. — Albert Camus

Step into the mystery of the mind. There are billions of minds, there are billions of selves. There are billions of worlds and dimensions. — Frederick Lenz

Once upon a time, I lost everything and I was so alone. The sadness, the hurt, it all seemed so infinite. When you're wandering alone in a storm, you can't see the end, or if there even is one, and how close it might be.
I'm still wandering, but maybe I don't feel so lost now.
I'll keep trying. I promise. — Kelley York

Writing is very difficult. You have 120 pages of blank paper and it's like, "Go fill that up with some funny stuff," and that's challenging. — Bobby Farrelly

To the Historians, tools existed for only one reason: to force the universe into unnatural shapes. They treated nature as an enemy, they were by definition a rebellion against the way things were. — Peter Watts

And I think Alanna would quote Sean Connery from "The Untouchables" to you: "At the end of your shift, go home alive." She would say, Don't think about being brave or working hard
just do what you need to do. When you look back, you'll be surprised to see that this was exactly enough. — Tamora Pierce

Meta-fiction doesn't depend on the illusion that you're reading about real people. — Paul Park

Perhaps true faith can only be born from the ashes of our own personal hell. — Robert Palasciano

Never limit your view of life by any past experience. — Ernest Holmes

It didn't do to ignore men. The majority of them were harmless, with nothing worse than a low capacity to irritate - they were worse than chiggers but not as bad as bedbugs, in her view. — Larry McMurtry

I have just been refining the room in which I sit, yet I sometimes doubt that a writer should refine or improve his workroom by so much as a dictionary: one thing leads to another and the first thing you know he has a stuffed chair and is fast asleep in it. — E.B. White

As the end of the century approaches, all our culture is like the culture of flies at the beginning of winter. Having lost their agility, dreamy and demented, they turn slowly about the window in the first icy mists of morning. They give themselves a last wash and brush-up, their oscillated eyes roll, and they fall down the curtains. — Jean Baudrillard

We're like - we're like the Backstreet Boys in a way - only dead. — Alyson Noel