Christopher Moore Quotes

When Charlie Arrived Home From His Mother's Funeral, He Was Met At The Door By Two Very Large Very Enthusiastic Canines, Who , Undistracted By Keeping Watch Over Sophie's Love Hostage, Were Now Able To Visit The Full Measure Of Their Affection And Joy Upon Their Returning Master. It Is Generally Agreed, And In Fact Stated In The Bylaws Of The American Kennel Club, That You Have Not Been Truly Dog-humped Until You Have Been Double-dog-humped By A Pair Of Four-hundred-pouund Hounds From Hell (Section 5, Paragraph 7: Standards Of Humping And Ass-dragging). And Despite Having Used An Extra-strength Antiperspirant That Very Morning Before Leaving Sedona, Charlie Found That Getting Poked Repeatedly In The Armpits By Two Damp Devil-dog Dicks Was Leaving Him Feeling Less Than Fresh.
Sophie, Call Them Off. Call Them Off."
The Puppies Are Dancing With Daddy," Sophie Giggled. "Dance, Daddy!

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