David Rakoff Quotes

Sheila Taught Me A Survival Technique For Getting Through Seemingly Intolerable Situations-boring Lunches, Stern Lectures On Attitude Or Time Management, Those Necessary Breakup Conversations, And The Like: Maintaining Eye Contact, Keep Your Face Inscrutable And Masklike, With Your Faintest Hint At A Gioconda Smile. Keep This Up As Long As You Possibly Can, And Just As You Feel You Are About To Crack And Take A Letter Opener And Plunge It Into Someone's Neck, Fold Your Hands In Your Lap, One Nestled Inside The Other, Like Those Of A Supplicant In A Priory. Now, With The Index Finger Of Your Inner Hand, Write On The Palm Of The Other, Very Discreetly And Undetectably, "I Hate You. I Hate You. I Hate You ... " Over And Over Again As You Pretend To Listen. You Will Find That This Brings A Spontaneous Look Of Interest And Pleased Engagement To Your Countenance. Continue And Repeat As Necessary.

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